Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 59

In truth, I knew absolutely nothing about Go Yohan liking marinated crab. I had only ever eaten school lunch with Go Yohan, and marinated crab wouldn’t appear in school lunch, would it? But I vaguely remembered Go Yohan not liking seafood. He never touched soup flavored with shrimp. I’d also always seen him subtly pick out seafood while secretly watching me. How could his parents not know something I knew? Annoyed by their answer, I taunted them.

“But there are only three sets of utensils. Where should I get another one?”

I pretended to speak innocently. Go Yohan’s mother, who seemed to be soft-hearted, looked at her husband. Go Yohan’s father quietly watched what I was doing. His cool eyes, so much like Go Yohan’s, swept over me. I tensed and put strength into my eyes.

“…”

Did I overdo it?

Even as I teased Go Yohan’s family, I absolutely did not want my malice to be exposed. Deceiving adults who had lived more than twice my life was difficult, and more nerve-wracking than any other lie. My hands were sweating. Kang Joon, hidden behind Go Yohan’s mask, fell into a swamp of worry.

Should I act dignified again now? Was that too rash an action?

“Uh, Mom didn’t know I was home.”

Go Yohan, flustered, spoke first.

“Yes. I guess so.”

Go Yohan’s father reacted indifferently, drinking water.

“Ah, I see…”

Over the transparent glass, his cool eyes looked at me, then slowly descended to my hand. I followed his gaze. My hand, where his gaze finally rested, was firmly intertwined with Go Yohan’s. Oops. I startled and pulled my hand away. Then I moved my body, quickly turning my gaze.

“Auntie, may I sit here?”

Still, I thought Go Yohan’s sister would be better than his mother, so I sat next to the somewhat familiar face, but Go Rosa glanced at me and avoided my gaze without even looking at my face.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your meal. You must be hungry, right?”

Go Rosa was already silently chewing her food, staring only at the table, and Go Yohan’s mother sat down with an embarrassed, slight smile. Only Go Yohan’s father. Only he just quietly looked at me.

“…”

What is he looking at like that? It’s incredibly nerve-wracking. To avoid his gaze, I pretended to be clueless, stomping my feet and looking towards the kitchen. After that, having nothing else to do, I feigned impatient urgency, looking for cups and spoons. And then I gestured to Go Yohan, who was still standing awkwardly, deliberately diverting my gaze.

“Yohan, sit down quickly.”

“…”

Go Yohan saw my gesture, hesitated for a moment, then met my eyes. I couldn’t bear to meet his gaze, and fearing Go Yohan’s father who was in front of me, I avoided Go Yohan’s eyes. So I didn’t see the expression Go Yohan made at that moment.

The timing was good. Or was it bad? From the kitchen, an elderly housekeeper came out with rice bowls and spoons. However, she placed one spoon in front of me, but then wandered, unsure where to place the other. It was Go Yohan who cut short that brief moment of helplessness. Go Yohan moved slowly. And he pulled out the chair next to me.

Why next to me of all places? Go Yohan’s father was sitting in the middle, and his sister and mother were sitting on either side. Since I was sitting next to his sister, shouldn’t Go Yohan sit next to his mother to balance it out? Isn’t it too skewed to one side? Well, it wasn’t exactly wrong, but I felt uneasy.

“…”

When Go Yohan sat down without a word, only then did the housekeeper place a rice bowl and spoon in front of him. And as soon as Go Yohan’s mother, glancing at her husband, pushed the marinated crab dish towards Go Yohan, the meal began.

Go Rosa and Go Yohan’s father truly said nothing and resumed their meal. It was a scene so different from the happy meal I had seen recently. The only one smiling was Go Yohan’s mother.

“It’s not much, but I eat a lot. Yohan, you eat a lot too. You like that, don’t you?”

Far from Go Yohan’s meal, in front of his white rice, there was only the red marinated crab. In front of it, Go Yohan quietly looked down at his rice and side dish. Go Yohan stared at the crab, then picked it up with chopsticks, hesitated a little, and then chewed it.

White flesh was revealed between the red crab shell. Sharp fangs crunched the hard shell with dead eyes. Go Yohan chewed the soft, fishy flesh, letting out a shallow groan and furrowing his brows. And then he subtly glanced at me.

As expected, he doesn’t like seafood.

The deep impression etched between his brows was stamped in my mind. The strong impression in my head made me move. I reached out and touched the bulgogi placed in the center of the table. Thinking about it now, I don’t know why I did it. The amount I took was almost barbaric. Forgetting that fact for a moment, I plopped the dripping meat onto Go Yohan’s rice bowl. And when I looked up, all eyes at the table were on me.

“…”

For a moment, I wondered what I had done. My body froze. I subtly rolled my eyes, but since I hadn’t done anything particularly wrong, I spoke honestly.

“Well, Yohan didn’t seem to want to eat it.”

I shamefully mumbled to myself. And as if making an excuse to Go Yohan,

“He seemed to dislike it, so I just…”

Suddenly, Go Rosa raised one eyebrow. Was that an answer? I smiled brightly in embarrassment and turned my head again. And the meal continued, feeling like it would choke me, but Go Rosa, who finished eating first, left the dining room without a word of greeting, just as she had eaten.

Next to finish eating was Go Yohan’s father. He drank the remaining water and continued to watch me and Go Yohan. Finally, when Go Yohan’s mother finished eating and stood up after glancing at me, Go Yohan’s father also stood up and left the dining room with her. And as he left, he said,

“You’re doing all sorts of things.”

At those words, my heart plummeted. It was because Go Yohan and I were together, and his tone didn’t specify who he was referring to. Did I make a mistake? I quietly bit my lip.

In the empty dining room, Go Yohan buried his head in the table and just fiddled with his chopsticks. That day, he ate unusually slowly, and I was the only one who waited for him. Go Yohan slightly raised his head and looked at me. I met his gaze. I’ll eat with you. I’ll wait. I clearly showed him my goodwill. At that moment, I was a little arrogant. Go Yohan saw my goodwill and made a pale, cold expression.

“Sorry…”

There was no answer. I stood up only after Go Yohan finished his last bite, like a sinner. Go Yohan quietly followed me the whole time. I was too busy with my own thoughts to know what kind of expression Go Yohan had. All this time, I had been thinking things like this.

But wasn’t I too rude just now? “All sorts of things” must have been referring to me. Did they think I was an ill-mannered child? Ah, damn it. Should I have done that? Just to get Go Yohan to eat once…

Gathering my deep thoughts, I opened the door to Go Yohan’s room. And I waited at the door until Go Yohan entered, then closed the door after he came in with his head bowed low. It was my own consideration. Consideration for the pitiful Go Yohan. Go Yohan, who had entered the room, had his eyes covered by his long bangs. His long neckline, visible above his shirt, and his deeply bowed head caught my eye. I involuntarily swallowed.

Go Yohan’s lines were always suggestive. I hid my desire and thrust my face close to Go Yohan.

“What’s wrong?”

“…”

“Are you upset because of your father? I’m sorry, I just…”

I waited for Go Yohan with a strangely anxious heart. At the end of his raised head, I saw Go Yohan’s reddened eyes.

“…”

I was speechless. No way, is he crying? He wasn’t shedding tears, but I couldn’t possibly not know what state his swollen red eyes were in. Go Yohan, who had been glaring at me with red eyes whose emotion I couldn’t discern, suddenly grabbed my shoulder with his large hand and pulled me.

“W-wait. Go Yohan, what are you…! Ugh!”

I was helplessly pulled by that immense force. The place I arrived at was Go Yohan’s bed. My body hit the soft mattress and bounced back. I tried to sit up, bewildered, but was immediately blocked by Go Yohan’s strength. I tried to push Go Yohan away with all my might. Before his hand touched my neck.

“What are you doing…!”

“Was it fun?”

Go Yohan said, lightly strangling my neck. A beastly sound came from his distorted lips.

“Was it fun?”

“Why, why th…! L-let go…!”

“Damn it, was it fun?!”

Go Yohan’s shout surged like a huge wave. The wave crashed over my inner self. That vast emotion submerged me in a dark blue sea. Go Yohan’s voice echoed in my head like a sound in a cave. Go Yohan’s hand, gripping my shoulder so hard it felt like it would tear, was speaking the answer.

“I, I…”

“Were you happy? Seeing me tremble and not know what to do in front of my father, you must have been happy.”

Why, why are you doing this?

I just did it on a whim because I was upset that hungry Go Yohan hadn’t eaten dinner. I guess it was a selfish act, only thinking of myself. I also wondered if it was an action that would make him that angry. Resentment and guilt welled up in my chest.

“That’s not what I meant…”