Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 43 The Stuffed Cross

Even when a major event occurs that shakes one’s life, the repeating days remain unchanged. After school, I eat lunch and go to cram school. That’s all there is to being a high school student. Sometimes, because this is all there is, there’s no escape, and one can collapse, but my world hasn’t collapsed yet. That’s a relief.

My parents, who often had to leave Korea for work, assigned a tutor to me instead of a guardian. It seemed like they felt guilty for neglecting me. Perhaps that’s why they were lenient about my grades. If my grades dropped even a little, they would say:

“It’s okay if you’re not good at studying. You can just go study abroad.”

And yet, they didn’t send me to a prestigious private high school or a special-purpose high school.

Since my parents couldn’t be by my side to take care of me one hundred percent, their intention was to compete with good internal grades. Conveniently, there was a suitable school near our house. Well, it’s not like I disliked their intentions or anything. I thought it was quite reasonable in its own way. And my parents probably aren’t the only ones like them.

My parents always recited my future plans as if it were a habit.

I had heard those plans so many times that when my classmates once asked about my future plans, I could answer without missing a single word.

“First, I’ll enter the business administration department at Hankuk University, graduate without taking a leave of absence, and then go straight to America. Korean connections, international experience, and a degree are all important. And when I return to Korea, I’ll join my parents’ company and…”

It was then that Hong Hwijun, who was close with Han Junwoo at the time, asked,

“How come your plan doesn’t include military service?”

I laughed and replied,

“Well, because everyone goes, of course. There’s no need to specifically mention it.”

But inside, I thought, Why would I go there? You idiots.

My parents’ life plan for me didn’t include military service either. That meant my parents would somehow remove military service from my life.

And that grand and magnificent plan didn’t consider sexual orientation at all. For that reason, I absolutely had to eliminate all evidence that I liked men. As a result, I found myself sticking to Go Yohan more often than usual. I had to observe every word and action of Go Yohan and assign meaning to them. It’s truly ironic.

Go Yohan grabbed my arm every time the bell rang for break time. Thanks to that, I couldn’t go anywhere and had to sit there, listening to Go Yohan’s words.

“Jun.”

“Hm?”

“Why do you think I said I’d do summer vacation supplementary classes?”

Go Yohan propped his chin with his thumb and forefinger. From his expression, he seemed very serious in his own way.

“Well, you probably intended to study.”

“Then was my past self an idiot?”

“Why?”

“The teachers who teach are the same anyway. So what more would I learn?”

“True.”

It was a valid point. In fact, many students didn’t register for supplementary classes, saying it was a waste of time. They all said they’d go to cram school during the time they’d be stuck at school. Even the so-called model students, with whom I was moderately friendly, largely opted for cram school. Then a question suddenly popped into my head.

“But why don’t you go to cram school?”

“Me?”

“Honestly, you don’t learn much at school. If you just went to cram school, you’d quickly be among the top students in the whole school.”

“…”

If he gets those grades studying alone, he must be pretty smart. Go Yohan smiled awkwardly without answering. His smile looked truly troubled. Did I ask the wrong thing? Go Yohan, who just fidgeted and smiled, wondering what he was thinking, was finally about to answer when I waved my hand.

“Never mind. You do well enough on your own. Whatever.”

I didn’t want to hear the answer to an awkward question. I didn’t ask further. Go Yohan didn’t bother to answer either. I think both Go Yohan and I did well.

As promised with Go Yohan, we started going to and from school together. Even in a situation rife with suspicion, I didn’t want to look like a dropout. At least I wanted to be like a noble white heron. However, the end of my interest was Go Yohan’s phone. I waited, and waited, and still waited for that gloomy white thing to fall at my feet.

Today, too, as we walked home together, watching Go Yohan’s back as he opened his front gate and entered, I was again filled with anxiety. My hand automatically waved towards Go Yohan, but my eyes quietly watched the window facing our house. Unable to tear my gaze away, I walked towards our front gate, reaching behind me to open the small pocket on my bag.

But there was nothing there. I took my eyes off the window and took off my bag.

“Huh?”

Strange. My flustered hands searched everywhere, front, back, everywhere they could reach.

“…Where is it?”

Now, I even shook out my bag and pockets in front of the gate. What I was looking for still didn’t appear. All that came out of the small front pocket was a single chocolate bar I’d packed instead of breakfast.

I had lost my key.

I stood in front of the doorbell, contemplating the biggest dilemma of my life. Should I press it or not? This dilemma arose because of the worst situation that had suddenly befallen me.

‘Our son is almost a proper adult now, so it’s okay, right? You just have to endure a little longer for now. Anyway, you’re off school during that time, so there won’t be any problems. I’ll find someone new for you soon.’

My mother’s words from a phone call a few days ago came to mind. The live-in housekeeper had taken a long vacation to care for her ailing mother, but her situation wasn’t accepted because of me. In the end, it seemed the discussion concluded with her quitting. The conclusion was that for the few days until a new housekeeper was found, I would be alone at home.

If I called her, the housekeeper lived outside Seoul. She said it was somewhere in Gyeonggi Province. Anyway, it was far. Thinking of the housekeeper caring for a sick person, I couldn’t bring myself to call her.

“This is crazy, what do I do?”

First, I retraced my steps, checking the ground. I went all the way to school, but it wasn’t there. It wasn’t in my locker, nor in my desk drawer. Only then did I wonder if I had come out without taking my key. Our house door locks automatically, so I hadn’t paid much attention to locking it.

Why does our front door have a double lock, of all things? Just pressing the code would have been enough. I sighed deeply as I walked back home from school.

“And why is my phone… Ugh, seriously. Nothing’s going right.”

To make matters worse, my phone battery was completely dead. I’d forgotten to charge it last night, and this disaster had struck. I’ve been distracted by Go Yohan for the past few days. I vigorously rubbed my hands together, trying to extend the battery life a little. I’d heard somewhere that doing this could bring the battery back to life a bit. I pressed the power button again. Still no response. I briefly felt embarrassed by my foolish action and clutched my head.

My wallet?

Asking myself wouldn’t solve anything. I had thought there was no need to bring my wallet since school ended early for supplementary classes. So I left it at home. Without my wallet, I couldn’t go to cram school. I needed to take a taxi, but I had no money for a taxi.

All those worst-case scenarios led me to this unfamiliar doorbell.

“Right. I can’t just keep standing on the street.”

I tried to reassure myself with a monologue. I sighed even louder and pressed the doorbell with a trembling hand. Beep-eeek-. A loud sound rang out. The doorbell sounded old-fashioned. I tried to suppress the rising fear with other thoughts.

-Who is it?

A young woman’s voice. A young woman at this hour, is it the housekeeper? I moistened my dry lips. Why am I so nervous about this? I spoke without stopping, lest the intercom be hung up.

“Um, I’m Yohan’s friend.”

My throat was so dry, my voice cracked. My face grew hot. I hoped she hadn’t heard me. I felt like I could die of embarrassment. But this was just a warm-up. What I said next was even more embarrassing.

“This is Yohan’s house, right…?”

I hadn’t even said something like this in elementary school. I covered my face with both hands. I was dying of shame. As if fate wanted me to suffer more embarrassment, there was no response from the intercom. I waited anxiously.

But still no response. Wondering what was going on, I was about to press the doorbell again when I heard a presence from across the front gate. I lowered my hand and waited again. Without realizing it, I clasped both hands and placed them in front of my stomach. I took a deep breath. At the same time, the door opened.

It was Go Yohan who opened the door. And he was catching his breath.

“…Jun?”

“…Hi?”

I awkwardly waved the hands I had placed on my stomach, feeling unnecessary embarrassment.

“Can I come into your house?”

“…My house? Suddenly, what about your house?”

Go Yohan asked with a bewildered face. He seemed flustered by my sudden appearance. This was the first time I’d seen Go Yohan so flustered. I was speechless and hesitated. I hadn’t expected such a reaction. Not that I had expected any particular reaction, though.

“Uh. Well.”

I fumbled with my fingers, trying to find words to continue.

“Could I borrow a charger?”

“Ah. A charger.”

Go Yohan slowly nodded his head. He looked like a creaking robot.

“Is it broken?”

“No.”

I shook my head. For some reason, only an awkward laugh came out. My facial muscles weren’t moving properly. I probably laughed that Go Yohan would have found it very strange if he had seen it.

“I don’t have my house key.”

And I took my phone out of my pocket. I showed the dark screen to Go Yohan.

“The battery’s dead too.”

At that, Go Yohan frowned. His face was quite troubled. Seeing that face, my mood slowly sank. It felt like I was sinking into a dirty swamp.

Ah. Did I come here for nothing? I bowed my head deeply and looked for other alternatives.

I didn’t know anyone’s number, so I had no one to contact. Usually, people contact each other via SNS in situations like this, but I don’t even have a common SNS account. I should have made one. Should I just borrow money from Go Yohan and get a fast charge at a convenience store? Right. That would be better.

“If it’s troublesome, just lend me the money…”

“Come in.”

Go Yohan cut me off abruptly. It didn’t seem intentional. Go Yohan just spoke faster. Even then, as if he had heard at least some of what I said, Go Yohan nodded his head slightly.

“What did you just say?”

“Nothing. My words just slipped out.”

When I answered, waving my hand, Go Yohan shrugged. Then he stepped back and opened the door wide. I swallowed hard once. I saw the withered grass of winter. I slowly crossed the threshold and stepped into Go Yohan’s house. Go Yohan’s garden was softer and more plush than I expected.

“You haven’t eaten lunch then?”

“Yeah. I spent too much time going back to school to look for my key.”

“You could’ve bought something to eat on the way.”

“I left my wallet at home too.”

“What a surprise. There are times when you do something foolish.”