Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 40

And, it seems Han Junwoo is truly obsessed with Han Taesan. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be waiting for Han Taesan in front of the school gate like that. Han Junwoo, dressed in casual clothes, was digging at the dirt with the tip of his sneaker. His arrogant face, still with his arms crossed haughtily, was clearly illuminated by the winter sun.

Whew-you. Go Yohan’s whistle suddenly sounded. It was obvious. He must have seen Han Junwoo. I followed his gaze and looked ahead. Han Junwoo didn’t seem to have seen us yet.

“Isn’t that a bit creepy?”

Go Yohan chuckled and lightly poked my chest with his arm. At that moment, my breath hitched again, a small but significant shock to my heart. My head spun. My breathing became increasingly erratic as I kept focusing on the touched area. I suddenly raised my head. We were getting closer to that annoying Han Junwoo.

Unlike my unstable breathing, my steps remained at the same pace. My steps were filled with my effort to show only enough agitation not to reveal my emotions. Sometimes I would stumble slightly, pushed by Go Yohan’s irregular steps. Still, it probably wouldn’t look strange to others.

I intended to just pass through the school gate like that. I disliked Han Junwoo, but he was uncomfortable. And if I just didn’t talk to him, didn’t look at him, nothing would happen.

However, Go Yohan always took the dangerous path.

“Oh, long time no see?”

I was appalled. I hadn’t expected him to greet Han Junwoo so casually and cheerfully. Especially not with such a bright smile, as if they had never fought. Han Junwoo’s expression, with his arms crossed, contorted. Of course, mine did too, a little.

“Shut up and pass by.”

This was my first. Han Junwoo and I agreed on something. But Go Yohan let Han Junwoo’s warning go in one ear and feigned being scared.

“What’s the big deal about saying hello? Since when did the world become so bleak?”

“Are we on greeting terms?”

“Then are we not on greeting terms?”

“…Crazy bastard.”

I discreetly tugged at Go Yohan’s collar, glancing around. And I shook my head. Fortunately, Go Yohan shrugged once and shut up. I sighed in relief inwardly. I tried to salvage the situation, but Han Junwoo’s face, which met my eyes, was even more crumpled than when he had been greeted by Go Yohan. What’s wrong with him?

“Han Taesan.”

“What?”

“Did Han Taesan come to school today?”

Is he asking me that right now? My jaw almost dropped in disbelief. Fortunately, I quickly composed myself before Han Junwoo noticed. I feigned a cough to cover my face, then cleared my throat and lowered my hand. I answered with as little emotion as possible.

“He came.”

“Then why isn’t he coming out?”

“How would I know? Why are you asking me that?”

Isn’t he a lunatic? Why is he asking me that? I knew Han Junwoo’s obsession with Han Taesan had surpassed the level of reason, but given this situation, Han Junwoo was definitely crazy. He’s putting on a show because he wants to hit rock bottom. I scoffed at Han Junwoo. But Han Junwoo scoffed back at me. Displeased.

“Your tone is insolent.”

“What?”

He finally openly ignored me. It was the familiar gaze one gives to a subordinate loser. My face, which had been scoffing at Han Junwoo, instantly crumpled.

“You’re all high and mighty with a man on your back, you cunning bastard.”

“Hey, Han Junwoo.”

I was so dumbfounded and speechless that I couldn’t even retort. That annoying bastard. My hands, trembling with anger, tightly gripped whatever fabric they found.

“Junwoo.”

But Go Yohan suddenly called Han Junwoo.

Han Junwoo furrowed his brows. His face said, What kind of nonsense is he going to say now? As expected, Go Yohan, who was always frivolous, said something strange again.

“It’s good that you’re talking, but can’t you talk without flaring your nostrils so much? It’s a bit disgusting.”

“What, you fucking…”

“And isn’t it embarrassing to say such things yourself? ‘All high and mighty with a man on your back.’ What is that?”

Go Yohan’s way of speaking, which poked at the other person between logic and illogic, was quite unpleasant. He had a knack for making people look ridiculous. When I thought of him being on my side, it felt reassuring, but when I imagined being on the receiving end, it felt a little dizzying. Han Junwoo’s face was crumpled like a newspaper.

Come to think of it, Han Junwoo was quite despicable too. He had always poked at me so much, yet he subtly couldn’t say anything to Go Yohan. Was he a dog that had been stepped on once? Or was it because Go Yohan held a secret about him?

I had a weakness too, the same as him. Surely he didn’t think Go Yohan wouldn’t tell me? I frowned and looked at Han Junwoo, and our eyes met. His damn pride wouldn’t go far. Han Junwoo finally counterattacked with sarcasm.

“It seems my thoughts were right after all.”

“I know what you’re thinking, but no. Go Yohan says so too.”

I instinctively clenched my teeth and replied.

Han Junwoo kept annoying me. Damn it. Stop involving me and Go Yohan in such a messy relationship. What if Go Yohan suspects me because of that? I don’t want to be dragged down like you in this pyramid. I have to walk only on the high road at the very top, you son of a bitch.

“What good is it to just say no? Your actions are exactly like two people who are stuck together.”

“Ah, I hear the sound of someone with no money. The sound of a beggar.”

Go Yohan raised the hand that was around my shoulder and poked Han Junwoo’s shoulder hard with his finger. Han Junwoo’s body swayed slightly, pushed by Go Yohan’s finger. Beggar. At that word, I unconsciously let out a small laugh.

“Whether we’re close or not, you loser, mind your own business. Please, worry about your father who’s in jail, okay?”

“Go Yohan, don’t speak carelessly. I might kill you.”

“Please grow up. How many tears do you think your dad is shedding eating cold prison food? He has no money. He has a son, but it’s worse than not having one. His life is totally screwed. Seriously.”

“…Do you really want to die?”

The composure vanished from Han Junwoo’s face. Go Yohan openly pouted and looked down at Han Junwoo.

“What are you talking about, you who got beaten up by me?”

“Pffft!”

How funny that sight was. I burst out laughing without realizing it. With a pale mind, I hastily covered my mouth with my hand and looked up at Han Junwoo, but I couldn’t stop laughing. His face, turning red and blue, was so ridiculous. The laughter I had barely suppressed crept out from between my lips again.

“…”

As I kept laughing and glancing at him, Han Junwoo seemed to get even more agitated. Knowing it was better not to provoke him further, I struggled to close my mouth and pulled Go Yohan’s clothes. And I pointed towards the road with my head. Go Yohan, who understood my meaning perfectly, waved his hand.

“Alright, you do well with whatever filial piety you have left. We’ll be going now.”

“Hey, Go Yohan!”

“Yes. This is Go Yohan.”

His sarcasm until the very end was so funny. But I desperately held back my laughter, thinking that if I laughed here, a fight would break out.

“Hey. Let’s just ignore him and go.”

At my words, Go Yohan smiled, the corners of his lips turning up, then patted my arm. From behind, I heard him softly cursing Go Yohan’s and my names, but what was there to fear from a defeated dog barking? It was just funny.

I suddenly turned back and looked at Han Junwoo. Those eyes I had thought were languid were now glaring at us with inferiority. He couldn’t even lunge, just stood there, trembling with clenched fists.

Han Junwoo, whose father went to jail. Han Junwoo, who became a beggar in an instant. Han Junwoo, who was ostracized in class. His plight was so funny that I subtly smiled. I let the beggar, whom I no longer needed to see, out of my sight, and slowly turned my head to look straight ahead. It felt exhilarating. Han Junwoo. You’re finally cursed.

Go Yohan sometimes takes my side. Although his erratic personality makes me wary, at least I wasn’t abandoned just because I was part of Han Junwoo’s group, and that’s thanks to Go Yohan. So, this isn’t rationalization; I should naturally express gratitude to Go Yohan. That’s the right thing to do. For that reason, as soon as we left the school alley, I said to Go Yohan,

“Oh, right, are you eating lunch at home?”

“I guess I have to.”

But Go Yohan’s expression wasn’t very good. Did he not want to go home?

Suddenly, I remembered the moment Go Yohan said he hated his father. Why would Go Yohan hate his father? My thoughts were brief. It was because I concluded that it wasn’t an important matter to me. Instead, I decided to show Go Yohan a small act of generosity. The feeling of being generous was strangely light. My voice automatically lifted.

“Then, do you want to eat at my place?”

“Your house?”

“I’ll ask my auntie to make tteokbokki. My auntie’s tteokbokki is really delicious.”

“Oh, tteokbokki.”

Go Yohan’s arm came closer to my neck. I looked at Go Yohan with eyes full of slight anticipation. Go Yohan smiled brightly, as if his expression had never been bad.

“Good.”

In return, I smiled back. The small commotion from earlier was buried as a fleeting past for us. Han Junwoo’s unsightly figure became our laughingstock throughout the tteokbokki meal.

After lunch, we played in my room. It was only “playing” in name; we just lay sprawled out, exchanging trivial chatter. A different emotion tormented me than when I first let Go Yohan into my room. I distinctly remember using Go Yohan as a side dish in that very spot. A strange heat in my lower belly and a lingering sense of guilt bothered me. I deliberately avoided looking at the tissues neatly placed on my desk.

I took out my English vocabulary book, and Go Yohan pulled out a comic book from his bag. When I asked what comic it was, Go Yohan showed me the cover.

‘Far Countries, Neighboring Countries.’

“To study world history.”

“…Right. Work hard.”

Go Yohan smiled brightly and nodded vigorously. I stared blankly at Go Yohan’s smile, then hastily turned my head away only after realizing Go Yohan had already opened the comic book and was reading it a while ago.

What am I really doing?

Shaking my head, I sat down below the sofa. Then Go Yohan sprawled out on the sofa. We often exchanged short conversations, making a mockery of our supposed studying. Go Yohan usually started, and I kept the conversation going.

The occasional silences that punctuated our conversations made me dizzy. When Go Yohan didn’t speak, I spent time agonizing over what to say next.

Our conversation topics were the same as any other high school students: grades, annoying stories, and tales of guys like Lee Seokhyun or Kim Minho. The stories always concluded with, “How on earth are those bastards going to make a living?” I couldn’t understand it either. If your family is poor, shouldn’t you study to find a way to survive? If you were lucky enough to get into a good school by chance, shouldn’t you be grateful for that luck? To me, their “let’s just live for the present enjoyment” mindset was strange.

“I really don’t get it.”

Go Yohan, as expected, echoed my thoughts. I replied without hesitation.

“Me neither.”

I turned my body, which had been leaning against the sofa. Then I saw Go Yohan’s high nose bridge as he lay on the sofa. Unlike Han Junwoo, whose nose had a slightly rounded tip, Go Yohan’s was sharply pointed. I swallowed unnaturally. My dry mouth moistened, and I continued.

“Did you… know? Kim Minho has six younger siblings.”

“That’s a hell of a lot.”

“He said he might not be able to go to college because of his siblings. Student loans, that too, it seems hard to pay back.”

“Anyway, with that brain of his, it’s better not to go to college at all. Where’s he going to throw his money away?”

“True, he lives in that neighborhood too.”

The neighborhood I mentioned was the one on the opposite side of town from mine. Go Yohan feigned surprise. It was only a pretense; his eyes and hands, turning the pages, remained calm.

“Pitiful, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. Pitiful.”

This “pitiful” wasn’t an offer to help. It simply meant that there was an example nearby that should absolutely not be emulated, and that I would never become like that.

The conversation ceased again after Go Yohan’s last remark. I turned my body back and memorized English words placed on the table. My eyes read the words, while my mind thought about what to say next. There was nothing left to talk about. It was hard to bear this silence.

But then, a baseless fear crept in: if I took the initiative to keep the conversation going again, wouldn’t I look too pathetic? It would seem like I was clinging to this relationship for no reason. With that thought, I decided it would be better to just keep quiet.

But actually, it was hard to bear.

I heard the ticking of the clock and the rustling of pages. What should I say? Should I just casually suggest we get some snacks? What kind of expression was he making right now? My consciousness drifted. It was the moment I was about to break the silence, unable to endure it any longer.

“Jun-ah.”

I hastily closed my mouth, which had been about to speak. Then I pretended to be focused on studying and replied.

“Huh?”

“I hope you and I are in the same class next year.”

What was that supposed to mean? I turned my body to look at Go Yohan. Go Yohan had placed his book on his chest and was looking at the ceiling. I suppressed my trembling voice and replied. A strange anticipation surged within me.

“Me, me too.”

“Just you and me, without those hangers-on like Han Junwoo, Han Taesan, Lee Seokhyun, Kim Minho, Kim Seokmin, or whatever. Even without kids like Ahn Ji-soo.”

What’s wrong with him? My lips twitched involuntarily. I almost showed how happy I was. To hide my surging emotions, I lowered my head. I ran a cold hand over the back of my neck.

“…If Ahn Ji-soo isn’t there, then I’ll be first in class, and that’s good.”

“You were first even with Ahn Ji-soo there.”

“I think I was just lucky.”

“No. It’s your skill.”

“Thank you for saying so, at least.”