Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 4

Choi Donghwan pointed directly at Han Taesan and sneered. Han Taesan, caught at the tip of Choi Donghwan’s finger, was covering his face with his bangs, timidly entering the classroom. And as soon as he sat in the seat right in front of the teacher’s desk and placed his shabby bag on the desk, he hunched over. I looked at his back and sighed, full of irritation.

Han Taesan is a truly pathetic bastard. A thin-voiced, scrawny, idiotic bastard. As the whispers among the classmates began, Han Junwoo glared intently at Han Taesan’s back, muttering curses under his breath. I hated that so much. I hated that sensitivity.

Han Junwoo snatched the newspaper that Go Yohan had been covering his face with. Then he crumpled the newspaper into a fist and threw it at Han Taesan’s head. Thud. With a light sound, Han Taesan’s head fell onto the desk.

“F-u-ck. Don’t walk around with that disgusting face first thing in the morning.”

Han Taesan rested his arms on the desk and hid his face. He had clearly done as Han Junwoo said. But Han Junwoo watched him and kicked his own desk.

“Hey! Aren’t you going to answer?”

When Han Junwoo suddenly stood up and yelled, Han Taesan, still prostrate, quickly replied with a trembling voice.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Lift your head straight and look at me when you speak.”

Han Junwoo, does that guy even know what he’s saying? A bitter, hollow laugh escaped me at his absurd, illogical demands.

Whether I reacted or not, Han Junwoo got up and walked towards Han Taesan. With each step hitting the floor, my unpleasant emotions were laid bare.

Han Junwoo and Han Taesan were getting closer. That alone made me increasingly lose control over my suppressed emotions.

This was not the same kind of jealousy I felt when Han Junwoo and Go Yohan got close. I instinctively knew it. I, too, harbored something very sinister, just like Han Junwoo. So, while Han Junwoo and Go Yohan’s relationship dulled with observation, watching Han Junwoo and Han Taesan’s relationship made me increasingly anxious. My hands trembled. I clenched my hands tightly to hide the shaking.

Han Junwoo kicked Han Taesan’s desk hard, and as the desk shook violently as if it would tip over, Han Taesan sprang up, startled, straightening his back. Then he spoke in a still unstable voice.

“S-sorry.”

Then Han Junwoo quietly looked down at Han Taesan’s face. Han Taesan, on the verge of tears. But in reality, it was me who felt like bursting into tears right then.

Han Junwoo never made Han Taesan run trivial errands, but he always kept an eye on Han Taesan’s whereabouts. If Han Taesan went to the bathroom during break time, Han Junwoo wouldn’t lose sight of his back, even while talking to us. The reason I knew this was because I was the one who never missed watching Han Junwoo.

Honestly, if I were to describe my first impression of Han Taesan, his skin wasn’t particularly clean, but perhaps because of his youthful appearance, he had a face that was comfortable to look at for a long time, and above all, his smiling face made me genuinely feel he was happy, and even his expressionless face was bright.

Before Han Junwoo started tormenting Han Taesan, no one really disliked Han Taesan. He seemed like a child who had grown up receiving warm love. He was closer to a solitary person than a sociable one, but his expression showed no signs of worry or displeasure.

Most people said Han Taesan was a good guy. He wasn’t the type to flaunt or show off that he was loved, so he received even better reviews. In short, Han Taesan was humble, quiet, cheerful, and pleasant to look at for no particular reason.

Contrary to that atmosphere, I didn’t particularly like Han Taesan from the start. It wasn’t that I disliked him, but I wasn’t very interested. At first, it’s more accurate to say he wasn’t even on my radar. However, sometimes when I talked with my friends, Han Junwoo, or Go Yohan’s group, Han Taesan’s name would occasionally pop up, and in those cases, I would just pretend and say, “Oh, him? He’s alright. He’s kind.”

Han Junwoo, like me, didn’t pay much attention to Han Taesan at first. He was also the type who wasn’t very interested in school matters. So, after Han Taesan transferred in May, Han Junwoo and Han Taesan didn’t exchange a single word until June. That’s how their relationship originally was.

However, for just one day, a slightly twisted thorn appeared in our ordinary routine. It happened right after lunchtime, and looking back now, I’ve never regretted anything I did as much as that.

Han Taesan was the type who liked to sit in a corner and read a book during every break. And I have a habit of being reasonably friendly to people who have a good reputation among their peers.

Therefore, when I accidentally ran into Han Taesan, I initiated a conversation about the book he was reading. In my case, I’m more inclined to pretend to be cultured than to actually read books.

“You seem to really like books.”

“Oh? Oh, yeah.”

Up until this point, Han Taesan and I were still awkward with each other. Perhaps that made it easier to approach him.

“Have you read that whole book?”

“Oh, well… I’m almost at the end.”

“Then just close it. You’ll be disappointed if you read the ending. The ending ruins the whole book.”

“You’ve read this?”

“Yeah, a long time ago.”

For my intellectual vanity, after reading a book, I would always seek out critiques or reviews to use in later conversations. As I rummaged through those memories and offered a sort of critique, Taesan beamed with a rather pleased expression. I was flustered.

“You’re the first person I’ve met who’s read this book besides me.”

“Oh… really?”

“Still, I want to read it to the end. It’s fun to think about why the ending was written that way.”

“Well, yeah. Everyone can have different opinions.”

“Your words make me even more excited.”

That smile still remains a lingering, unpleasant memory. Did I feel an instinctive unease there?

After that, Han Taesan often came to find me. I secretly found it annoying, thinking, ‘Why me of all people?’ But Han Taesan, with his good reputation, wasn’t bad to have around, so I readily accepted his annoying visits.

Indeed, among peers, books other than textbooks or workbooks were things one shouldn’t spend time reading, and even if there was time, they would only serve as pillows. So, Han Taesan probably had no one to talk to about such things except me.

That day was one of those days, and among those many days, it was one of the particularly unlucky ones.

Go Yohan is my enemy. Why did I do that day? Why did I, who usually doesn’t care about others’ business, meddle that day? Why did Go Yohan spread out his Korean mock exam paper for everyone to see?

I dislike my grades being revealed to others, so I naturally assumed Go Yohan would too, and flipped over the exam paper that was clearly spread out on his desk. The problem was, while doing so, I saw Go Yohan’s score. 81 points. I doubted my eyes and checked again. It was definitely 81 points. The cut-off for this Korean mock exam was high, so this would barely be a 4th grade, but still, it was at the higher end of 4th grade.

It was the first time my stereotype was broken, and it was quite a shock to me. The thought that Go Yohan wasn’t as hopeless as I thought naturally brought Han Junwoo’s grades to mind. He was the real trash. He would mark all answers as ‘2’ from beginning to end and then sleep prostrate until the exam was over, so he never got a proper score even once.

Perhaps that’s why, I felt like I saw recyclable trash among the garbage, and it was unsettling to realize that the guy I once terribly disliked was actually more salvageable than the guy I liked. With a vague feeling, I ended up doing something I would never normally do.

It was nothing grand. I just wrote a short note at the top of the exam paper with a pen that was rolling nearby.

<Focus on non-fiction problems. You’ll probably get to grade 3 quickly. Well done. Kang Jun. p.s. Sorry for looking at your score without permission. It was just open, and I saw it when I went to cover it.>

I felt awkward about my arrogance in looking at his score without permission and evaluating it arbitrarily, so I unnecessarily wrote a lengthy explanation.

I’m not sure why I still wrote it even though I felt that way. I must have been crazy back then. Anyway, for things to get tangled, the first button has to be buttoned wrong. This incident was my first button.

If I hadn’t written the note and left, I wouldn’t have met Han Taesan walking down the hallway with a book. I should have just passed by. But I meddled again, like an idiot. What I mean is, I acted like I knew the book Han Taesan was holding.

“That one’s pretty interesting.”

At my words, Han Taesan’s eyes sparkled as if he had been waiting, and he replied.

“You’ve already read this book too?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow…”

“It’s shorter than you’d think, you’ll read it quickly.”

I must have wanted to show off my knowledge. Or my arrogance. That’s just the kind of person I am.

“Can I come find you after I finish reading this? Actually, I’ve almost finished it. Just need to read the last bit, and I want to talk about it with you.”

“Doesn’t really matter. Anytime.”

Why did I say that? It was my biggest mistake. It was also a mistake to leave Han Taesan, who was beaming with excitement for the pleasant time to come, and go find Han Junwoo.

Han Junwoo likes debauchery. He also likes rebellion and pleasure. Han Junwoo simply liked everything his parents disliked. Whether that was rebellion against his parents, or if Han Junwoo inherently liked such things, I, as a friend of barely a year and a half, didn’t know. However, everyone could say that there must have been such circumstances, as Han Junwoo actively engaged in more dissolute behavior than other peers.

Han Junwoo naturally smoked.

He was the type to smoke half a pack a day, so he would return roughly every three hours after smoking. That time was usually after the first period and right after lunch. After the first period, I would fidget. Whenever the bell rang, I would immediately turn around and ask.

“Han Junwoo, are you going to smoke again?”

“Yeah, my hands are shaking, I’m dying.”

“Then I’ll go with you.”

“Why are you following along, you don’t even smoke.”

“Cigarettes are better than the rotten sweat smell in the classroom. It seriously makes me want to throw up here.”

“So sensitive.”

“Are you going to the incinerator?”

“Yeah, follow if you want.”

“Wait a minute.”

However, Han Junwoo rarely waited for me. He would just grab a lighter and leave before I could even get my jacket. Actually, I don’t particularly like the smell of cigarettes. In fact, I hated it so much that I would immediately gag if I smelled it.

Now, I could endure it enough to stick by Han Junwoo’s side and watch him purse and open his lips as he puffed. I liked the bleary eyes Han Junwoo showed, and next, I liked his soft nose tip. I endured the pain to have this time. Because it was a time when I could openly take in Han Junwoo with my eyes.

While I was taking in Han Junwoo’s face, Han Taesan came looking for me.

“Kang Jun!”

What is this now?

I felt like I was forcibly pulled out of a precious moment. A little flustered, I looked up and asked,

“What brings you here…?”

“I finished reading this.”

His face, which had been wandering around with a book in hand, was bright, as if proving he had been looking for me. It was the face everyone felt good about. And Han Taesan, who was about to speak to me, suddenly saw Han Junwoo and said,

“Students shouldn’t smoke. Especially not next to their friends.”

In Han Taesan’s uniquely kind tone, which neither blamed nor cursed anyone.

“Your friend probably doesn’t like this.”

At that, Han Junwoo frowned and threw the cigarette he had been holding between his fingers at Han Taesan’s feet.

“Who are you?”

“Still, you’re cool.”

“……”

Han Taesan smiled brightly, and Han Junwoo just watched Han Taesan, only moving his fingers. Heat haze shimmered on the ground, and for a moment, I was captivated by that strange shimmering.

I would guess that Han Junwoo discovered Han Taesan’s existence then. That inconspicuous kid who had been quietly hiding in the corner of the foul-smelling classroom. Because from then on, Han Junwoo started watching Han Taesan’s back. Yes, I’m probably right.

However, Han Taesan, who was originally quiet and not proactive in social relationships, had no interest in Han Junwoo at all and didn’t even think of becoming friends. Han Taesan’s attitude must have further bruised Han Junwoo’s ego.