Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 3

After hanging up, I threw the phone back to Han Junwoo, who briefly thanked me and got dressed. I immediately turned around and headed home. Han Junwoo didn’t say anything to stop me. Just, “See you later.” That was all.

It was natural. Our relationship was merely this much. The gap between you and me was so starkly visible, so deep. And was that why I hurried my steps on the way back?

So, the journey back hurt all the way up to my throat, unlike before. I hurried out of the elevator, vaguely checked the place name on the license plate of a long-waiting taxi, and just got in. I painstakingly gave my home address and then hit my chest hard to relieve the indigestion.

“Student, is something wrong?”

The driver, who had been constantly glancing in the rearview mirror, asked with a voice full of concern. At his words, I hit my chest again, which felt like it was bruising, and managed to say,

“No. It’s just that my indigestion won’t go away.”

“I have some antacids, want some?”

“It’s okay. It’s no use. I took some, but it’s still like this.”

Then I leaned the back of my head against the seat.

Everything went wrong after I got sick. My whole life was ruined. Among boys, the slur “gay bastard” was so prevalent that gays were both an object of fear and ridicule. Of course, I also said such things and agreed with them.

Then, the moment I realized I liked a man in my first year of high school, I felt my entire life falling off a cliff. I knew what it meant for all the words I had ever spoken to devour me. But these things became nothing. I never knew I would miss those hellish days.

When I became a second-year, the even more chaotic situation made things harder for me. Liking Han Junwoo, Han Junwoo hanging out with Go Yohan, the gap between Han Junwoo and me, and the transfer student arriving. The last one bothered me the most.

A transfer student arrived at a very awkward time, during the final exams of the first semester of second grade. The transfer student, Han Taesan.

He’s the guy I hate the most.

Han Taesan showed and hid his unusually dark eyes, saying “Please take care of me,” and I just thought it was another ordinary day. However, from the beginning of early summer, Han Junwoo started to dislike the transfer student.

The kids all agreed that Han Taesan was pitiful. That guy, Han Junwoo, would grind his teeth over every trivial thing, and if he disliked someone, he’d drag them to the ends of hell and rip their throat out, like a hunting dog. There were even rumors that tormenting him was quite enjoyable.

Han Taesan, contrary to his name, is short. Also, he walks around with flattened hair, as if he doesn’t properly dry it after washing. If Han Junwoo looked like he was in his mid-twenties, Han Taesan, on the other hand, looked like a middle schooler. He wore his uniform, which was awkwardly larger than his actual size, in a rather neat and tidy manner, though it looked old-fashioned. By the second month, his uniform was ragged, almost like rags.

Then one day, I realized.

The trigger was a perfectly ordinary day. The problem was Han Junwoo’s unpleasant sex life. It started when I occasionally ran into women leaving the room late, when Han Junwoo called me to the hotel for an alibi.

Before I liked Han Junwoo, I just found it annoying to be asked to go out at dawn like that. So, I had refused a few times. I didn’t even remember the faces of the women I accidentally ran into. It was just uncomfortable. But one day, I suddenly realized, by chance, that I liked Han Junwoo, and after realizing it, I immediately abandoned everything and rushed into that space with its pungent, unpleasant smell. I spent all day agonizing, wondering if Han Junwoo’s type was those women of various appearances.

But what had been pushing my feelings into a dirty corner lately was the thought that the faces of the women I had encountered twice in a month strangely resembled someone.

Unusually dark eyes, a youthful impression. Just like Han Taesan’s face. Yes. At that moment, I was the only one who realized something had changed.

From that day on, I began to hate Han Taesan. Thinking about it made my stomach ache as if it were tearing.

I clutched my chest in the rolling taxi. My head, like my heart, slumped to the floor, like an idiot. I resented Han Junwoo. Why did that woman resemble Han Taesan? Why did Han Junwoo keep tormenting Han Taesan?

Han Taesan is a boy. An eighteen-year-old boy just like me. A boy with a smaller build than me, who lately even stutters when he speaks. But I’m better at studying than Han Taesan, richer, and better-looking. To anyone, it’s obvious that I’m a better match for Han Junwoo. Why? It would have been more understandable if he liked Go Yohan. Even if it felt like dying from disgust.

“Student, are you okay? Shouldn’t you go to the hospital?”

I covered my mouth, which felt like it would burst with complaints any moment.

After realizing that the women coming out of the hotel resembled Han Taesan, I hid my dislike for Han Taesan and defended him. That was truly surprising for me. I usually disliked interfering in others’ affairs, but I had almost never stopped Han Junwoo from doing anything. However, that action was for my own sake.

My change wasn’t out of concern for Han Taesan, but because I hated Han Junwoo unleashing excessive anger on Han Taesan. Because for selfish me, my immediate suffering was more important than Han Junwoo’s feelings. I just had to distract Han Junwoo’s gaze from Han Taesan for even a moment. Only that moment allowed me to breathe.

Once, I stopped Han Junwoo when he had found Han Taesan hiding somewhere, dragged him by the collar into an empty classroom, made him prostrate himself, and kicked his stomach.

“Why do you keep bothering him? Enough already.”

Ugh. Beside me, where I held Han Junwoo, Han Taesan let out a short groan and cringed like a woodlouse. Han Junwoo extended his foot and nudged Han Taesan’s shoulder, saying,

“He keeps getting on my nerves.”

“What did Han Taesan ever do to you?”

“Ah, damn it! He just gets on my nerves!”

Han Junwoo yelled, and I stiffened. Han Junwoo glared at me, his face red. Go Yohan suddenly intervened in the tense atmosphere.

“Alright, hey. Let it go and give him a break. My heart aches just watching it, I can’t bear it.”

“Why does your heart ache?”

Go Yohan, who, contrary to his appearance, often spoke weakly, lowered his eyebrows and put on a pitiful expression, and Han Junwoo’s arrow turned from me to Go Yohan. As Han Junwoo’s eyes shifted from me, I could breathe again, and the short, blocked breaths naturally came out.

“Why does your heart ache? He’s the one getting hurt.”

“This bastard has no friends or anything.”

Go Yohan looked at me as if seeking agreement, spinning his index finger near his temple. “He must be crazy. Idiot.” At that, Han Junwoo, unable to contain his anger, lunged at Go Yohan. Go Yohan showed Han Junwoo his middle finger and scoffed defiantly.

The two tangled, and I bit my lower lip slightly, watching Go Yohan unilaterally run away and Han Junwoo chase after him. Then I approached the fallen Han Taesan, grabbed his shoulder, and helped him up.

“Thank you…”

Han Taesan, whose face was swollen from being beaten to death by Han Junwoo, said this to me. And then he tugged slightly at my clothes. It was so unpleasant. So much so that on the way home, I stuffed the clothes Han Taesan had touched into the trash can.

While replaying the unpleasant days in my mind, the taxi arrived in front of my house. The driver was still looking at me with concern, and seeing his expression, I opened the door and got out, saying to him,

“My chest just hurt for a bit. I’m sorry to have worried you.”

“Student, you really should go to the hospital. Chronic indigestion is no small matter.”

“Yes.”

I replied to his unnecessary meddling. But I didn’t go to the hospital. Arriving at school immediately, I greeted Han Junwoo with a perfectly rational and confident expression. Because I am the rational Kang Jun.

There’s nothing more unsightly than seeing someone cry and die over love. It’s despicable.

I often vow never to become like the men and women who show ugly sides when consumed by love. I hate showing weakness to anyone, and I hate that the person who would ultimately discover that weakness is Han Junwoo.

That’s why my face was always composed and brazen.

Han Junwoo’s face, swollen from staying up all night, looked exactly like a pufferfish, so I pretended to be annoyed and tossed a cold can of soda onto his desk. Without thinking, I always handed Han Junwoo a cold drink on days he indulged in his hobbies. Amusingly, it was just because Han Junwoo’s face tended to swell.

“Stop looking ridiculous and reduce the swelling.”

“Thanks.”

“Didn’t your dad scold you this morning?”

“Thanks to you.”

Han Junwoo shrugged and said proudly. I just pouted my lips and smiled at his actions. Then, turning my head to sit down, I saw a large newspaper covering the seat next to Han Junwoo. I gazed at that spot.

The seat next to Han Junwoo wasn’t mine, it was Go Yohan’s. I was a span shorter than Han Junwoo, and Go Yohan was half a span taller than Han Junwoo, so Go Yohan sat next to Han Junwoo. I often resented my short height, and insisted on the second-to-last seat just because Han Junwoo was behind me. At least I wanted to sit right in front of him. That was my only comfort.

I hid even that jealousy completely, and brazenly pointed at Go Yohan.

“When did he get here?”

“I don’t know. He was already like this when I arrived.”

“Why is he like this? He’s the kind of kid who goes home nicely in the evening.”

As soon as I finished speaking, there was a rustling sound, and the newspaper was lowered, revealing Go Yohan’s bleary eyes. His narrow eyes scanned me and Han Junwoo, then he opened his tired mouth wide and yawned.

“……I just played a little more game and fell asleep.”

As if yawning was truly contagious, Han Junwoo also yawned in succession. Then he sneered with a crumpled face.

“This bastard. He looks more unhealthy than me, but he acts more wholesome than Ahn Jisoo.”

“Oh, screw you.”

“Alright, idiot.”

Did Go Yohan know that Han Junwoo was teasing him? He threw his head back and laughed loudly. I looked at Go Yohan, and our eyes met. Go Yohan turned his head to look out the window, then turned his gaze back to me. I looked at Go Yohan, then shifted my gaze to Han Junwoo. It felt itchy. I scratched my shoulder.

Thus, the classroom in the early morning had a reasonably good atmosphere. When we talked like this, guys like Choi Donghwan and Park Dongcheol would stealthily gather around, listening to Han Junwoo’s exploits with envious eyes, which was the usual routine. After chattering boisterously, seeing the homeroom teacher enter was the next step, as everyone would slowly return to their seats for morning assembly.

For popular kids at school, it was quite a wholesome morning.

After all, no matter how popular you are, you’re still only eighteen. The stories of messy sexual encounters from the previous night that blossomed among the boys were utterly unpleasant to me. Even more so when the person involved was Han Junwoo. Still, I pretended to be amused, laughed, and let it pass.

I considered this process a pretty good morning. However, this morning was completely shattered a month and a half ago. The cause was entirely Han Taesan.

“Hey, Han Taesan’s here.”

“Shit. Ugh.”

“Does that bastard really think he can come to school after getting beaten up like that?”