Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 175

But contrary to my conviction that Go Yohan’s subtle expression would brighten, it changed into a more complicated one. I, too, became confused. Why on earth? What reason was there?

“Because Kang Soohyun was the one who sold me this ticket.”

Unfortunately, the reaction steadily worsened. The more I continued speaking, the deeper I sank into a mire. The end of my words was tinged with an uncertain emotion.

Lines formed on Go Yohan’s forehead, and his slender jawline even tilted slightly to the side. His eyes, which had been looking at me, gradually moved sideways and then fixed on some empty space beside me. Then, he didn’t budge, lost in thought.

“…”

“…”

I felt a slight shiver. What, did I say something wrong?

I replayed my words in my head, but still couldn’t pinpoint any mistake I’d made.

Surely he wasn’t jealous. To entertain that possibility, the difference in level between Kang Soohyun and Go Yohan was too great for it to be jealousy. The only similarities were height and education, and you should only be jealous of someone on your level. Since I was someone who never gave opportunities or even glances to those at the bottom of the pyramid, I could absolutely not entertain the possibility of jealousy. He was definitely the first one to be dismissed.

What remained was what had happened between Go Yohan and Kang Soohyun. But wasn’t that something I didn’t know? Even if I subtly asked them, they wouldn’t tell me. Kang Soohyun just avoided my questions. What was I supposed to do? I didn’t know what to say and half-stammered a flimsy excuse.

“It didn’t mean anything. This ticket, Kang Soohyun gave it to me to go with you.”

Finally, the eyes that had been staring into space slowly moved to look at me. In the brief moment our eyes met, his light-colored pupils openly questioned me. ‘Why?’ The atmosphere was colder than mid-winter, darker than night. And I was always so weak to such an atmosphere.

A mid-winter rainy season. A day when damp rain fell instead of snow. White breath melting in the rain. Humidity arriving in winter. Go Yohan was a being born with the wicked conditions that made me tremble. How could a person be like a mid-winter rainy season? But that was exactly Go Yohan.

My heart raced. I didn’t want Go Yohan to misunderstand. No matter what, I was the kind of person who wanted to give Go Yohan, standing in the rain during the rainy season, the only umbrella left. My hand moved reflexively, pulling out my phone, which was hidden deep in my clothes.

“Want to see my conversation with Kang Soohyun?”

It was a wise choice, after all. The most efficient way to convince Go Yohan was, of course, evidence.

“Can I?”

Go Yohan smiled. However, the unsettling feeling of that smile, like a rag twisted by hand, was definitely not my imagination. Wow, he’s really forcing that smile right now. Perhaps realizing his own slip-up, he charmingly lifted both corners of his mouth. Smiling was good. But if he was going to smile, his eyes should smile too. With only his mouth covered, his face, which anyone would see as expressionless, seemed to shrivel.

And yet, his words were different from his eyes. Go Yohan, with his dead eyes, spoke as if he were the most straightforward person. It was awkward, even overwhelming.

“It’s fine. Forget it.”

“No! I’ll definitely show you. You definitely have to see it.”

I hated this unsettling feeling even more. I hated myself more than Go Yohan. I wanted to reveal everything that Go Yohan might dislike, so it wouldn’t weigh on my mind. It was an active emphasis of my resolve to hide nothing from him.

With hands trembling from either cold or anger at the unsettling feeling, I forced myself to turn on my phone screen. And then, as if showing a royal decree, I showed him my conversation with Kang Soohyun.

That message, disgusting even on second glance.

「Go Yohan r=1−sinθ Kang Jun」

Who was it that said they wouldn’t look earlier? Was it the person who pretended not to care and just stared into space? The moment I showed him the phone, Go Yohan leaned in so close it was overwhelming and read the screen. And unlike me, he seemed to understand what it meant immediately. Because Go Yohan was rubbing his chin, muttering to himself. It was certain.

“Go Yohan, heart, Kang Jun?”

“What? How do you know that?”

“Kang Soohyun sent this?”

“You understood it? Really?”

I asked out of genuine curiosity. Something felt strange, and even after checking again, it was just some trivial formula. So how on earth did he know? Was there some popular slang I didn’t know? Was I the only one behind? Was it a trend most college students knew? I was confused.

“Then do you know this too? I calculated it with the natural constant, and it came out to 6606.48.”

「128」

“Do you know what 6606.48 is?”

I showed Go Yohan the message written below as well, but Go Yohan looked at the screen, then at me, confused, then back at the screen, and suddenly burst out laughing. It was a light, clear laugh. The moment his breath escaped from his clear-cut mouth, I felt the nerves of an unspecified number of people focusing on us with all five senses. Did I feel jealous there? Absolutely not. There wasn’t even time for that.

“Ah, seriously, Kang Jun.”

Go Yohan’s long eyes curved. His upper and lower eyelashes overlapped in his crescent-shaped eyes. Come to think of it, Go Yohan’s features were large, even if his eyes were narrow. His eyes weren’t small either. His features themselves were so striking that my gaze kept being drawn to them.

For the brief moment his pupils were revealed between his narrow eyes, the world flickered in black and white. Only Go Yohan had color within it.

When I had this amazing experience, I thought this:

It’s truly cliché. My current thoughts are like a scene from a novel or drama. It’s childish and embarrassing. But I had to honestly admit it. That there was a reason for cliché descriptions.

That everyone in the world had similar experiences, and that the most vivid emotions from those experiences were best described by clichés. Then I had to admit again.

I love Go Yohan as if he were a scene from a drama.

“Ugh, goosebumps.”

“Why?”

I suppressed a laugh that threatened to escape and shook my head.

“Don’t you get goosebumps from the wind that blows every time a ride passes by?”

“Is that so?”

I offered a brazen lie. Actually, I was no different from Go Yohan. The only difference was that I lied for profit, and Go Yohan did it for fun and survival. Well, I wasn’t sure what the difference was.

I tried to put my phone, which I had shown Go Yohan, back into my pocket. But my hand was immediately caught, rendering the attempt futile. Go Yohan, still holding my hand, read the message on the screen again and burst into even louder laughter than before. His laughter sounded just like peppermint candy.

“…What’s so funny?”

Of all things, my voice, too, had a spoonful of excitement in it. I was going to be sick of my own voice.

“‘I love you,’ he says. That idiot sometimes says the right thing.”

“Right. How did you know that? Isn’t this problem a bit strange?”

My curiosity resurfaced. It wasn’t an obsession. I just thought it would be good to know. That was just my personality.

“That’s…”

At my question, Go Yohan lightly shrugged and opened his mouth, and then—

“Please step into the next row!”

Thanks to the enthusiastic part-timer, our conversation was abruptly cut off.

Pushed by the person behind me, I haphazardly sat down without any time to spare. So why was 14 ‘forever’? I wanted to know. Even when I tried to ask again, the crowd from behind pushed me and Go Yohan.

When I came to my senses, the safety bar was coming down. What was this chaotic market feeling?

“Go, Go Yohan.”

I hurriedly called out to Go Yohan, who was sitting next to me, but the loud announcement mercilessly drowned out my voice.

“Ow.”

I instinctively covered my ears at the piercing mechanical sound that hurt my ears. It hadn’t seemed that loud outside, but with the microphone right in front of us, it was overwhelmingly loud.

“We sincerely welcome all of you to our land! This is the famous A-T-T-R-A-C-T-I-O-N! Not a Viking ride, not a flume ride, where thrill and excitement coexist! Where is this? It’s X-Traction! Don’t cry if you’re scared. Because we’re going three laps. So check your safety bar again, entrance is on the right! Exit is still far away. So everyone! Get ready to scream your hearts out, and let’s depart without delay!”

Was this an announcement, or an incantation?

The moment I heard the part-timer’s incomprehensibly fast announcement, I knew. We had come to the wrong place. We checked the safety bar as instructed, and it was even loose.

“Yohan.”

On the old, rattling train that was starting to move, I called Go Yohan. And sure enough, Go Yohan, whose face met mine, also had a stiff expression and was subtly lifting and lowering his safety bar.

Again, Go Yohan’s face was asking. ‘What is this?’ There was only one thing I could say to that expression.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Yeah. You should be sorry for this one.”

Where had the magnanimous Go Yohan who said it was fine gone?

Go Yohan touched the safety bar again. His chillingly expressionless face looked down at the bottom of the ride from its highest point. He didn’t seem scared. It was the face of someone experiencing an incomprehensibly illogical situation. I probably looked the same.

“Let’s never come here again.”

Yeah. I was about to answer that, when suddenly Go Yohan reached out and grabbed my safety bar. Oh.

Before I could even process what was happening, the ride, having reached the peak, plummeted to the ground in an instant. But my gaze remained fixed on his large hand gripping the old, paint-peeling handle.

My chest was truly rattling wildly. It felt like someone was violently shaking a glass bottle with my heart inside.

I raised my trembling hand and grabbed Go Yohan’s safety bar. Perhaps, because it happened amidst the commotion, Go Yohan wouldn’t have seen it. I hoped that was the case. Even though the cold wind cut at my face, my mind was only hot.

And one new fact I learned: Go Yohan seemed weak to amusement rides. Perhaps, perhaps. He wasn’t showing it, but Go Yohan, sitting on the bench, was subtly listless.

That was exactly the feeling. Someone who was carsick.

“You.”

“…Huh?”

“You’re carsick right now, aren’t you?”

Go Yohan subtly avoided my gaze, then answered in a very small voice.

“No?”

“…”

“This place just… doesn’t quite agree with me.”

I agreed with his last statement. An amusement park and Go Yohan. They seemed like they should fit, but they absolutely didn’t. Go Yohan holding a helium balloon in a space of fantasy and happiness filled with red and pink? And two perfectly healthy men sitting on a heart-shaped bench, talking alone? It was truly a nightmare. My stomach felt a bit queasy.

Ah, I think I’m more carsick. I felt like I needed something cool to drink.

“I want something to drink. Do you want anything?”

“Do you have some?”

“No, I’m going to buy some. So I’ll go to the nearby snack bar, and you stay here.”

It was my own consideration, but Go Yohan merely shook his listless face from side to side.

“No. Let’s go together.”

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”

“Why? Will we die if we go together?”

I firmly raised my hand.

“The space we’re in is a bit special. In a place like this, two men sticking close together and going to the snack bar wouldn’t look good to others. It’s a little gross.”

“I’m handsome, so it’s fine.”

“Ah, because you’re handsome.”

The fortunate thing here was that my emotions didn’t show easily on my face. I had naturally learned to hide my feelings because I was used to holding back since I was young, but conversely, Go Yohan, with a perfectly straight face, spoke without any shame, as if it were the most obvious thing.

Lately, I had been admiring Go Yohan’s brazenness. Truly.

“You’re always so serious.”

“What’s with that tone?”

Go Yohan frowned and glared at me. I nonchalantly got up and avoided his gaze. Then, recalling my memory, I pointed towards the left path.

“If I remember correctly, the snack bar was probably over there.”

“Look at Jun changing the subject. Honestly.”