Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 173

I let out a hollow breath and shook my head. Right. Well, it’s fine. Go Yohan should be glad I’m not the type to dwell on past events. Though that personality has also caused troublesome things.

Searching for tiny snowflakes that were barely visible, I looked at Go Yohan in front of me. His cold face concentrating on the gently falling snowflakes seemed both fitting and unfitting, making it feel like watching an outdated silent film in an empty cinema.

The terrifyingly quiet red carpet and the cold emanating from the seats. I felt a chill run through my body sitting on the somehow unpleasant, stained chair, and the area above my solar plexus felt constricted and painfully tight.

Honestly, a snowy landscape is just cliché. The first snow, which I’ll see dozens of times in my life, isn’t anything grand. I was just standing still because I saw the scene illuminated by the light of the silent film in front of me, and the subtly shimmering downy hairs reflecting that light made my chest ache somewhere.

“…It’s pretty.”

“It is pretty.”

Go Yohan repeated my words as if his mind was somewhere else. Hearing Go Yohan’s words, I turned my gaze back to the world outside the glass. That’s not what I thought was pretty.

“Will it accumulate?”

And yet, it’s so like me to throw out other words without adding my true thoughts. What’s more, in this situation, why am I only thinking the practical thought, ‘If the snow piles up, it’ll be annoying to go home’? Even I think it’s a mood-killer, so I bit my lower lip slightly, blaming my mistake. People don’t change that easily, I guess.

“It’d be fucked up if it piled up before we went home.”

“…”

“Why?”

“Just… thinking about old times.”

Suddenly, I recalled the days when I disliked Go Yohan. It was annoying that our values subtly aligned, and it popped out at a time like this.

“What old times?”

“When I first met you.”

By my standards, I met him in my second year, so it wasn’t a lie. But Go Yohan smiled meaningfully at my thoughtless words. What, why is he smiling like that? He even slowly stroked his chin with his right index finger. The annoying thing is, everything Go Yohan does looks quite cool. Actually, a lot. No, honestly, he just looks cool. It’s really annoying.

“You’re thinking of me on the first snowy day? Did it snow when we met?”

“No. It was just my first impression. You’re really like a summer monsoon and deep winter.”

“I didn’t see Jun that way…”

His meaningful smile gradually turned sly. His narrow eyes looking down at me, and his nose bridge soaring to the sky, all seemed to be teasing me.

“What, what.”

“Fuck, what.”

He’s ruining the mood. Go Yohan, who muttered to himself almost inaudibly, checked the phone in his left hand. The bell had rung again. I wondered if it was the same person who had called earlier, but I knew it wasn’t when his lightly annoyed face gradually turned expressionless.

“…”

I knew when Go Yohan made that expression. It was when his family called.

Again, the bell rang loudly, filling the lobby. But Go Yohan just kept staring at the phone screen, not intending to answer.

For me, a hothouse flower raised with only caresses within a fence my whole life, Go Yohan’s family affection was truly hard to understand and surprising, but I certainly knew this one thing:

Go Yohan most resembled the leader of his household, and at the same time, was the biggest deviant.

“When that old bastard dies, I’ll throw him in a mental hospital and starve him to death.”

See. That kind of thing. As the uncomfortable electronic sound filling the lobby abruptly cut off, Go Yohan ran his tongue over his gums. Then, hearing the subsequent message notification, he raised one eyebrow and muttered softly.

Here, ‘old bastard’ referred to his parents. Go Yohan didn’t want to admit it, but every single one of his mannerisms resembled his father, and every single one of his actions seemed truly deviant.

“Why did they suddenly contact you?”

“It’s just… something.”

I asked Go Yohan, who suddenly seemed pitiful, but he changed the subject. Did he think I wouldn’t keep asking? His sudden made-up lies were always obvious. They were so clumsy.

I nonchalantly looked out the window as if I understood. Seeing me like that, Go Yohan raised his phone to look at the screen again, but I quickly leaned in and looked at the screen. Just a few seconds were enough. I always read fast, thanks to my speed-reading habit.

「25th. Last warning.」

“25th?”

“Hey, you!”

Startled, Go Yohan reflexively swung his arm. Unfortunately, because I was standing behind him, his rapidly approaching hand struck me in the chest. I had no time to think. For a moment, I staggered from the pain, as if hit hard in the upper chest with something like a brick, and coughed violently.

“Ah…”

“Hey!”

Go Yohan, who seemed flustered and threw his phone to the floor, instantly grabbed my chest and back. You bad bastard. Are you giving me sickness and then medicine? Why is your strength so monstrously strong? It hurt so much I felt like stomach acid was rising, and tears almost welled up, but I barely held them back.

“I’m sorry. Really sorry. Are you okay?”

My stomach was still churning, but I took a long breath and lightly raised my hand. It meant I was okay. I bent at the waist, grabbed my knees, and deeply inhaled the cold air. In that position, I raised my head. My eyes always turned to the same spot. The spot where the despair that bloomed brilliantly in my life resided.

Wow, I’m even hearing an apology from Go Yohan. And an apology that wasn’t a joke.

Why did Go Yohan’s face turn paler than mine? Why was that proud bastard half-kneeling so easily, looking up at me like this? Not even letting me get angry.

I thought again, ‘Right. He must have been so surprised because I tried to peek,’ and forgave him internally.

It seems my body truly contains a spirit of sacrifice that uses affection as fertilizer.

At eighteen, Go Yohan, whom I hated most in the world, was now so lovable. In the first place, being hit a little didn’t bother me. It was okay if Go Yohan was a bit selfish, self-centered, and a bad bastard. I could tolerate things like that.

Thinking about it, I’m so generous, yet ironically, the only one who sacrificed for me, for such a person, was Go Yohan, ‘my despair.’ I pressed my chest firmly and said,

“On the 25th…”

“Fuck.”

“…Shall we go to the amusement park?”

That’s why I can’t help but be good to you. I didn’t want to date because I knew it would come to this.

“On Christmas.”

“That’s not the problem, are you okay?!”

“I’m fine. Why are you making such a fuss? I was just a little surprised.”

Why did Go Yohan’s face wrinkle into an even more disgusted expression at my excuse? With a face like he’d eaten something bitter, his already gloomy and cold expression grew even colder. And he even clenched his fist.

“Go Yohan?”

Then he glanced at his left fist out of the corner of his eye, and in the blink of an eye, he slammed his fist into his perfectly fine cheek. It happened so suddenly that I had no time to stop him. Blood leaked from the side of his lip, as if it had burst.

My thoughts froze, and no words came out, so I just opened my mouth and reached out my hand, but Go Yohan, with an unconcerned face, took my hand and placed it on his swollen, red cheek.

“Go Yohan!”

This crazy bastard. This insane bastard. Goosebumps shot from head to toe. But contrary to my situation, Go Yohan, who now smiled broadly as if everything was done, said,

“Where did you say we should go? Sorry, say it again. I didn’t hear well. I heard Christmas, but…”

“Why did you hit your cheek…!”

“I’m fine.”

If he was going to say something like that, he should have stood up and said it. Go Yohan remained kneeling, looking up at me. And he smiled with a truly innocent face, as if expecting praise.

“Why are you making such a fuss? I was just a little surprised.”

Goosebumps rose as Go Yohan repeated my words exactly. Is this bastard really crazy? Did he perhaps hold it in? Is he expressing the feeling he felt when I said I was okay, in this way? For me to see?

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. I recalled Go Yohan living by that rule. ‘That’s my law.’ Go Yohan’s words from sometime ago flashed by like a panoramic photo.

You, what on earth should I do with you?

I looked at Go Yohan with a dumbfounded expression. What could I give to this bad bastard who loves in such a strange way? What I, what I could give. Desperately searching my memory, I recalled a crumpled, folded free pass. That was all I could do for him—

「Go Yohan r=1−sinθ Kang Jun」

I checked the message that arrived late at dawn in the morning and my blood pressure just shot up. It was Kang Soohyun’s doing again. I already had trouble getting up due to low blood pressure, but as soon as I checked the message, my neck stiffened, and I almost died.

「What is this?」

December 24th. 8:45 AM.

Since the vacation began, all I’d been doing was alternating between my parents’ home and the apartment. My parents still hadn’t returned.

The reason for alternating was mixed with a bit of guilt. Since mid-second semester, my parents had occasionally asked, ‘How’s the auntie doing?’ with a subtle hint. The anxious nuance emanating from those seven words. Moreover, monitoring the movements of an adult who was twice my age was not easy psychologically, nor was it something I wanted to do, so I was hesitant. It would be different if she were a complete stranger. It felt even more unsettling because of Go Yohan. It felt like my weakness had been exposed.

The subtle psychological battle between my parents, me, and the auntie had slowly begun as I left my parents’ home empty.

My parents contacted the auntie daily to ask her to visit and clean the apartment, and I had been subtly declining for about half a year now. Eventually, I persuaded the auntie. Of course, as always, it was a deceptive persuasion.

‘Auntie, I’m going to live with a friend from the same school for a while. Not long-term. My friend couldn’t find a place to live. I think my friend would feel very uncomfortable if you came in often.’

Even then, her indifferent ‘Yes’ was the end of it. I was somewhat relieved and deliberately asked her to visit at a time when no one was around, but as the days went on, the stress I felt was immense. What’s more, my parents subtly hinted in their last call that I didn’t need to be at school during vacation, so I should come home and guard the house. And they gave off a very intentional vibe.

‘Is the auntie guarding the house well? Are you visiting the house often?’

‘Yes, I take care of it every time.’

‘I heard you’re using it like your own house. Even inviting people without permission.’

‘That’s never… happened.’

‘…Jun, will you go back to your parents’ home during vacation?’

‘My parents’ home?’

‘I don’t want a headache either. I don’t want to suspect people. Let’s just make it good for everyone.’

‘Then what about the apartment? It’ll be empty for almost three months. Won’t that be a problem?’

‘Is three months empty a big deal? It’s the parents’ home being empty that’s a big deal. You just have to pay the management fee, right? Leave it.’

Excuses didn’t work. So I had to act as if I was staying at my parents’ home as much as possible.

The resulting exhaustion weighed me down. Since vacation had started, my parents would naturally ask the auntie about my life at home. The excuse I used during summer vacation, ‘I’m living with a friend for a while,’ didn’t have a long lifespan. I needed to come up with another excuse quickly before the vacation got longer.

「128」

…6606.4818843257?

What the hell is this…

That damn Kang Soohyun was making me even more pissed off when I was already in a complicated state of mind. First, I threw my phone onto the bed.

Kang Soohyun’s intention in sending such a message was clear. December 25th. Christmas had arrived.

It was absurd, but my and Go Yohan’s official first date… well, it’s a bit awkward to call it that, just a slightly inappropriate place for two guys to go… the first day had arrived. It was truly a day I wanted to die. Because it was so embarrassing.

“Haaah…”

I slumped to the floor with a sigh. And the faint laugh that escaped with the sigh was definitely not out of joy. Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely not. I pressed down on the corners of my mouth, which had risen on their own, to pull them down.

“When we go outside, act completely aloof. Act like it’s no big deal.”

It already seemed like a big deal just by muttering this, but still. Even if I know it, speaking and not speaking are different, I think. If I speak, at least I acknowledge it. I put strength into my slumped legs, stood up, and opened the door.

And then I saw the second sight I didn’t want to see.

“…”

“Are you up?”

Why was the living room bathroom the first thing I saw as soon as I opened the door and crossed the hallway? When did the structure become like this? Probably from the beginning. And this situation came about because Go Yohan and my sexual relationship had begun. I took a wrong turn.

“Hurry and wash up, I have something to show you today.”

“Don’t show me, don’t show me. Please.”

I refused politely. It was because of Go Yohan’s attire in front of me. How did he find it, wearing my shower gown unbelted and walking around like that? It was maddeningly sexy.

“Please, tie it tightly in front.”

Why didn’t Go Yohan put on clothes after finishing his shower? Because his private room at his parents’ house had a bathroom attached to the living room? But I had that too. I also had a bathroom in my private room, but I didn’t walk around naked. At least I wore underwear.

“You’ve seen it before, why do you dislike mine so much?”

Go Yohan made a sullen face and ruffled his hair with a towel. Water droplets flew from his wet hair, and the un-wiped moisture streamed down his distinct abs. That was fine, but the water droplets continued past his abs, wetting his confidently exposed penis.

What was even more fucked up was that Go Yohan’s penis had been slowly rising ever since it met my gaze. But why was Go Yohan just drying his hair with a blank expression? He was truly an incomprehensible bastard.

I quickly turned my face the other way and mumbled frantically.

“You, aren’t you embarrassed?”

“What are you talking about? I’m not embarrassed about anything with you, Jun.”

“Please. I, I…”

“Don’t be like that. You love it when I actually give it to you. You clench, cry, and cum.”

“Hey!”

“Just-kid-ding.”

My face flushed hot, and I unconsciously yelled. I covered my mouth afterward, but it was already too late. But Go Yohan didn’t care at all, and with the towel still on his head, he poked his penis with his index and middle fingers, saying such things.

“Wanna use it?”

At those words, I couldn’t stand it anymore and ran back into my room. Even then, the distorted scar on Go Yohan’s inner thigh remained as an afterimage in my mind, tormenting me. Go Yohan seemed to think it wasn’t visible, or perhaps he had momentarily forgotten the existence of his scar.

Does it make sense for the witness to be more bothered by a scar than its owner? Especially if it’s the starting point of sexual arousal.

Seriously, I’ve definitely fallen for a completely crazy bastard. No, I’m definitely the crazy one.

Lately, Go Yohan had been wildly happy. I had no idea why. A few days ago, I witnessed him sitting alone on the sofa, suddenly smiling to himself. Even late at night, without turning on the lights. He had been like that ever since I showed him the crumpled ticket. Could it be that he really wanted to go to the amusement park?