Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 172 Merry Holiday

In the winter of my twentieth year, having passed through nineteen, there were facts I didn’t know and familiar currents of air spreading around. The media and imagination were filled only with fantasies. Though old enough to be called a proper adult, the square classroom still existed.

My longed-for twentieth year was less than I’d imagined. It was merely the ability to choose between a square life and a wild, fence-less life. That was all. As someone who desired a stable life, I naturally chose the square life, but life doesn’t always go as planned. Just like now.

“I’m screwed.”

I muttered to myself quietly. It was 11 AM. On the desk was an exam paper. And written on the blackboard was the phrase ‘Open Book’. Open book, they said? With trembling hands, I rummaged through printouts and lecture notes, but I ultimately couldn’t find the answer the question demanded.

In contrast, the seats next to me, in front, and behind me were furiously scribbling down answers to the subjective questions. The sound of ballpoint pen nibs tapping against the plywood desk felt like it was chasing me down my back. I read the question, which only I seemed unable to understand, a whopping eleven times.

Did Kang Soohyun learn his messed-up Korean grammar from the professor?

Right. Our school’s Mechanical Engineering department is on par with a local university’s medical school, isn’t it? Then, of course, he’d be good at studying. Fuck, it was a shadowing learning method. No, I don’t have time for this.

First, I clenched my molars tightly. Then, I broke down every word in the question and categorized them by whether I’d heard them in class or not. Words I hadn’t heard were immediately excluded. Next, I wrote down all the trivial information I remembered hearing with the words I had heard.

After linking the seemingly related sentences I’d scrawled haphazardly, I pressed hard between my eyebrows with my index finger. Lowering the finger that had touched my brow, I pressed firmly between my jaw and neck. And with my remaining right hand, I began to create a ridiculous piece of fiction. Still, I tried to base it on the information the professor had taught. If I got stuck halfway, I’d rummage through the lecture notes and pull out plausible content to write.

Why are they putting content on the exam that was never mentioned in the lecture? While writing, a surge of injustice welled up, and I pressed the pen so hard that the ink smudged, but I didn’t have time to worry about such details.

Squeezing out every last memory, packaging it, I had only 15 minutes left. I placed the pen nib on the last remaining space and agonized.

Should I write a letter, or not? If I write, what would I say? Fuck, Professor. Why are you trying to make my life so fucked up like this? Why are you putting content not in the lecture on the exam?

Then, a clear D grade appeared before my eyes. I shook my head.

Then… Dear respected Professor. I am an enthusiastic student who has never missed a single one of your classes… But why did you make the exam like this?

“There’s no answer.”

That’s it. Let’s just not write anything. I threw the pen onto the desk.

There were about seven people left in the classroom. From their faces, it seemed their situation wasn’t much different from mine. They sat still with bored expressions, and when I stood up, they abruptly rose with faces that seemed to say, ‘Finally, one more person is leaving.’ It felt quite pitiful.

I submitted my exam paper at the front desk, returned to my seat to pack my bag, and turned on my phone. Dozens of messages had accumulated inside the silent device. This was rare in my life, which had fewer than zero friends, so I checked it curiously and was surprised to find it was the department group chat.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and quietly pushed in my chair while checking the messages.

「Deleted content.」

「Deleted content.」

「Please don’t talk. This is an announcement room.」

The movement of opening the door stopped, and my thoughts stopped too. As I stumbled out a step, the door closed with a recoil. I stood in the empty hallway, staring blankly at that single sentence.

“There was an exam bank for this test?”

It seemed I was truly screwed.

University had too many variables compared to high school for an outsider like me to survive. Since I attended alone without knowing any department mates, I had no idea that an exam bank for this professor’s major exam was circulating.

No, why, how? Wasn’t university supposed to be a fair place? If you got in by using your head, you should compete with your head until the end. Why are you resorting to tricks and acting like this?

As I descended the stairs in a daze, I was suddenly on the first floor. My feet touched the ground, and my eyes landed on a familiar figure. A man whose height was clearly discernible even while he was squatting on the floor. He was in a normal posture, resting his elbows on his knees and looking up, staring intently at his phone screen, yet he strangely stood out.

The exam was over, and the empty lobby was terribly cold. But why did that guy make even the cold temperature seem like his own?

He hadn’t said he’d come to pick me up after my exam, but I had a feeling he’d be there. Go Yohan was strangely transparent and obvious in these matters, which made me burst out laughing. He’s seriously too obvious.

“Yo-ha…”

The moment I was about to call Go Yohan, his phone’s ringtone filled the first-floor lobby. The culprit was the phone held at the tip of his long, white fingers. He looked at the screen, raised one eyebrow, clicked his tongue, and answered the call.

“What.”

I stopped walking and stood still. Then I adjusted the bag on my shoulder. My feet were rooted to the floor, unable to move. There was a reason for everything. It was because my gaze had drifted between his widely spread legs. I hadn’t intended it. It was only natural that my eyes went to the zigzag-pleated zipper and the center line, especially after what happened yesterday.

“Stop bullshitting and shut up.”

His language was terribly harsh. Looking at his calm tone and smiling expression, it seemed like a joke, but honestly, his way of speaking was too much even for a joke.

“If you contact me from now on, you’re dead.”

He smiled, revealing his white teeth, and hung up without waiting for a reply. The phone, dropped from his ear, was back in front of his eyes. His smiling expression gradually returned to a blank one, and his hands and eyes moved quickly as if reading a message.

I groaned inwardly. And just as I was about to move, the same sound filled the lobby again. Go Yohan twisted his lips and roughly answered the phone.

“I told you you’d die if you kept calling.”

My hand was still gripping the railing, and his back was against the wall.

“If you keep making useless calls, I can’t receive important ones, you son of a bitch.”

His attitude of just saying what he wanted and hanging up was truly trashy this time too. Why does he have friends? I don’t. I despaired, then suddenly realized. Oh, right. There’s one more thing I learned from the square life.

That people who exist to stand out from the beginning are fundamentally different from those who stand out through effort. Knowing that fact, and as someone who once desperately wanted to stand out, I should probably be disgusted by the flamboyant bastard leaning against the wall.

Strangely, with a ticklish feeling inside, I stroked the cold part of the railing with my fingers. I had erased the thought of moving my feet just before. With a slight upturn of my lips, I pressed the ‘0’ button on the phone I was holding.

Again, the same ring filled the lobby. It was the third time. But this time, his reaction was uniquely different. His eyes, which had been on his phone, blinked rapidly once. Then he raised his fist to his mouth and,

“Ahem.”

…cleared his throat. His long, squatting legs instantly straightened. Finally, his back came off the wall. He exhaled a long breath and finally answered the phone.

“Hello.”

-Hello.

Why did I call a number I could already hear? Even I thought my intentions were pretty bad, so I let out a hollow laugh. This time, it was me who slumped down. What kind of seesaw game was this?

“Hello?”

-Hello?

He tilted his head to the side, furrowed his brows, and asked again. At his words, I tapped my lips with my finger and opened my mouth.

“Am I your ‘hello’?”

…and immediately regretted it. Ah, seriously. What did I just do? This is ridiculous.

With the sound of sneakers sliding on the floor, a presence rapidly rushed over. He must have realized it now. Meanwhile, I was so embarrassed I felt like dying, so I buried my head between my knees. This won’t do. I can never imitate Go Yohan.

“No, forget it.”

“Forget what?”

His low voice resonated above my head. Every time he moved, the jingling zipper moved with him, revealing his unseen presence. Was it intentional, or was it truly a heaven-sent presence? I roughly rubbed my ear with the back of my cold hand and tilted my head back.

“I think I failed.”

“Your ‘hello’?”

“Yeah.”

My voice cracked. Damn it.

“Good try, though.”

Did he really need to answer so seriously? Go Yohan stood in front of me with his arms crossed, speaking, when I felt a presence behind me. I quickly shut my mouth at the sound of footsteps descending the stairs.

The source of the regular footsteps was one of the last seven remaining, a familiar classmate. I closed my mouth and watched, wondering if he’d heard, and he too looked at me as he came down, and our eyes met. It was the classmate who greeted first.

“Hi.”

“Oh, hi.”

“Well… bye.”

“You too.”

The epitome of awkwardness. The classmate glanced between me and Go Yohan as he passed. At the same time, my eyes met with the guy who was scrutinizing the classmate up and down, and the classmate silently nodded his head before leaving the lobby. I broke the terribly quiet atmosphere, watching the classmate’s slow retreating figure.

“We looked like people who were talking behind someone’s back and then shut up when they arrived. He must have thought it was really strange.”

“Who was that?”

But the reply I got was completely out of left field.

“Just a classmate.”

“…Are you close?”

What was he staring at the retreating figure, which had already turned into a dot and was no longer visible? While leaving me behind. For something so insignificant, I felt unnecessarily petty.

“Not close. That’s why I’m screwed.”

Only then did his eyes return to me.

“What?”

A hint of concern appeared in his light, small eyes. Concern, really? It truly didn’t suit Go Yohan. As his perfectly brilliant gaze turned to me, I foolishly smiled sweetly, like melted, wobbly jelly.

And as I opened my lips, I realized. From the moment I met Go Yohan, an exam bank was no longer a big deal to me.

“What’s screwed?”

“Because I don’t have friends in my department.”

If I had friends, I would have been told to get the exam bank from seniors, wouldn’t I? I mulled over the irreversible past and stood up.

“I think I thought wrong. Should I join a club or volunteer now?”

“Following that kind of stuff won’t help your life at all.”

His subtly rough voice hit my eardrum quickly and heavily. I wiped my hand, which had been on the floor, on my thigh and looked at him.

“It’s too unfair.”

More precisely, I looked at Go Yohan’s phone screen, which kept lighting up at random times. Oh, for goodness sake. My eyes bounced upwards into the air. Honestly, I wasn’t angry, nor was I jealous. I had expected it, I knew it, and considering Go Yohan in high school, it was only natural. It was just a playful remark mixed with envy.

“You have so many friends, but you keep me so confined.”

I threw a light jab and gently slapped the back of Go Yohan’s hand, which was holding his phone. And as I passed him and tried to walk to the end of the lobby, my swinging arm was suddenly grabbed. It didn’t hurt, but I was puzzled by his sudden action and turned around, only to find Go Yohan scrutinizing my face with an uncomfortably serious expression.

“What, why…?”

“If you tell me not to meet them, I won’t.”

“Huh?”

“They’re not important bastards anyway.”

“No, there’s no need for that…”

…No, there’s no need. The suddenly heavy atmosphere made my mouth feel heavy. There really was no need for that. Instead, seeing me silent, Go Yohan, who had been fidgeting, suddenly started blurting out words.

“If you tell me to cut them off, I can cut them off right away.”

To that extent? I didn’t want that at all.

Strangely, Go Yohan seemed to think I would be displeased by ‘his friends’. Not at all. Rather, Go Yohan’s expectant attitude made me step back, and then a thought suddenly occurred to me, ‘Oh.’ That is, people are most sensitive to others in the areas where they themselves are most angry, like a mirror. Perhaps it wasn’t me who was sensitive, but Go Yohan.

I reached out and grabbed Go Yohan’s arm, which was holding me. Then I asked seriously and quietly.

“Go Yohan.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you dislike me having friends?”

“…”

Go Yohan’s lips, momentarily speechless, gradually protruded like a duck’s. Ah, that’s right. With that certainty, Go Yohan gave a small nod. His long neck revealed a clean curve. Why? The question burned black like paper in a fire. Because I felt like I knew without asking.

I held his wrist, which I had been gripping, more gently. No way.

“Do you dislike me getting close to other people?”

Even in this situation, I lowered my voice, afraid someone might pass by and hear. That’s how timid I am.

“Alright.”

But I had to say what needed to be said. This was actually a behavioral pattern heavily mixed with my own selfish motives. I had learned it earlier this year: Go Yohan secretly loves it when you take his side, even if he pretends not to.

“Anyway, I live fine even without friends. What I just said was just because of the exam bank.”

Go Yohan gripped my arm tightly. It didn’t hurt, but a suffocating pressure climbed up my nerves. I deliberately avoided Go Yohan’s gaze and continued speaking.

“Well, if I look for communities or something, maybe someone will post an exam bank for sale? Next time, I’ll just buy it with money.”

“…”

“Then it’s fine, isn’t it?”

When I take his side so excessively, Go Yohan, on the contrary, becomes quiet. It’s one of the few moments when Go Yohan is quiet. One, when he’s asleep. Two, when he’s extremely angry. Three, when someone takes his side excessively without asking or questioning. His behavior in this third situation is truly unforgettable.

A blank expression, staring only at the floor. But that, that’s him being embarrassed.

There I am, feeling proud of Go Yohan’s expression that only I know. Would Kang Jun believe me if I told him in my first year of high school, ‘You’ll do anything to see Go Yohan’s embarrassed face’? He’d never believe it. I blamed my foolish past self.

And Go Yohan, with his gaze fixed on the floor, glanced at me, who was rejoicing alone, and said:

“You and I should have been in the same department.”

“I know, right.”

This time, I exaggeratedly feigned disappointment. Again, as soon as Go Yohan’s eyes met mine, he widened them and quickly looked down at the floor. Goodness, me.

“…I should have known which department you were going to beforehand.”

What was that supposed to mean? As a complex Rubik’s Cube rapidly solved itself in my mind, Go Yohan abruptly cut off the busy flow of my thoughts.

As my thoughts quieted, the stopped cube creaked and turned. The tight plastic rods moved with a sound like tearing air. When the nine faces turned red, and the uneven small boxes became a perfect cube, my lips parted.

“Was it you who influenced the consulting teacher?”

I heard Go Yohan’s breathing stop at my words. I literally heard it. At the same time, my eyes narrowed.

“You already passed, so you didn’t try to make me apply lower to the Sociology department just to get me into this university, did you?”

“…”

“No way, right?”

Roll. His light eyes rolled sideways. His lips, which had consistently twisted to one side, puckered forward and let out a deflating sound. After a few blinks, his lips seemed to go back in, then spread wide to both sides.

“No?”

It wasn’t ‘What are you talking about?’, but abruptly ‘No?’ Hmm. I narrowed my eyes further, filled with unshakeable suspicion, and Go Yohan avoided my persistent gaze, turned his eyes towards the window, blinked rapidly, and let out a small gasp. At that, I followed suit and witnessed the winter unfolding beyond the glass.

“Jun, it’s snowing out there.”

Outside, white dust fluttered down through the blue sky to the ground.

“It is.”