Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 169

Still, those self-conscious glances didn’t go away. I slightly pushed my chair back, then, as if nothing was wrong, spoke to a staff member.

“What time does this place close?”

I said that thinking if they said late, I’d pretend to be in a hurry for the last train and bolt. I didn’t intend for Kang Soohyun to hear it. However, Kang Soohyun awkwardly straightened up and continued to resent me.

“The only thing that will heal this wound is opportunity cost.”

“Huh?”

“This is an economic opportunity.”

What? Is this bastard drunk?

“You take care of my amusement park tickets.”

This is like a bandit. The sight of him twisting his mouth and waving his hands as if he was being wronged. It was absurd and ridiculous.

“I’m sorry. I don’t really want to.”

“You, you, you can’t do that, you bastard.”

“No, what can’t I do?”

“When guys like you walk around on the street, ordinary people like us get relative evaluations. Do you know? Huh? The world needs proportional equality. You know? To watch a baseball game over the fence, when you need one wooden box, I need three boxes. You bastard. You have a duty to compensate me, who is harmed because of you guys. You don’t live alone in this world.”

A sigh of disbelief escaped me at his absurd argument. I wasn’t laughing, just an exasperated sigh burst out.

“Putting me aside, what’s ‘you guys’?”

“Putting you aside, what do you mean, you admit it? Are you showing off that you’re handsome to me right now?”

“What do you want me to do?”

“You only hang out with guys who are as annoying-looking as you. Do you discriminate based on looks?”

“Discrimination, my ass.”

What discrimination? My rebuttal stopped. It wasn’t wrong. I was stricter about men’s faces than women’s. Well, of course, isn’t that unavoidable as a human? I was born that way. I quickly corrected myself and changed my words.

“I think it’s instinct.”

“Wow, seriously, the consideration is insane.”

Kang Soohyun kept pointing his finger at me and shaking his head. Then he quickly pulled out his wallet from his pocket and took out two slightly crumpled tickets.

“This year, Christmas at the amusement park is a loophole. I found that out from my statistics major friend.”

“Loophole, you say. Christmas is crowded everywhere, it’s the same.”

“What do you know? Do you know statistics? Huh? Do you know how to predict the future by calculating variables?”

“Do science majors know anything about academics? Humanities majors learn statistics too.”

“But you wouldn’t have the passion to rack your brain for a date, would you? Have you ever racked your brain to plan a schedule for a date? Have you ever tried to plan the best date course to somehow win over the other person’s heart, huh?”

“…”

I had nothing to say. Rather, I thought, why is he putting so much effort into something like that? Perhaps that thought showed on my face, as Kang Soohyun suddenly burst out with passion, shouting.

“That’s why handsome guys are no good. They think their face is Disneyland!”

“Ah, okay. Be quiet. Everyone’s staring.”

“Let go, let go.”

No one was holding him, but Kang Soohyun seriously told them to let go and continued.

“If your landlord is handsome, you think that place is a theme park and the Hilton Hotel, right? What, do you think you smell fragrant when you don’t shower? It’s all an illusion! All men smell like sour milk.”

“I don’t smell like sour milk.”

“Don’t say selfish things just to save yourself.”

“Ha…”

I think again. Why do I so often get entangled with guys who have such strange personalities? Looking at Kang Soohyun, who was getting heated in front of me, it was time to re-evaluate the definition of ‘normal.’

<Observation 1. There are no ‘normal’ XYs.>

It seems the answer came in Observation 1. The number of samples, combining all the men I met in elementary, middle, high school, and college, is perfectly sufficient. At least over a thousand. Kang Soohyun, one of those ‘samples,’ slid the tickets towards me. Though half of them were soaked in spilled soju.

“So you buy my amusement park tickets.”

“Why should I buy them?”

“You can go to the amusement park with your friend on Christmas. No. You must go.”

“…Friend?”

For a moment, I doubted what I had heard. I probably swallowed once too.

“W-why me?”

I stammered in surprise. Like when your tongue gets a slight frostbite after eating ice cream too quickly. What should I say here? At a loss for anything, my vision was filled with Kang Soohyun’s lips. The edges of his lips, still showing traces of green onion, parted.

Ugh.

“You have to suffer too. Experience the misery of being stuck with another guy on the national dating holiday. If I can’t do it, you can’t do it either. Only you, only you can’t write history. Only you can’t enjoy it.”

The chilling pain instantly drained away. All that remained was a sense of bewilderment. So he wants me to pay money to suffer? Even though I stared at him in disbelief, the situation didn’t change.

“You have a really bad personality.”

I scanned Kang Soohyun with a contemptuous gaze, then frowned and looked away.

Still, it was interesting. So this is what an amusement park ticket looks like. Honestly, it was the first time I’d seen one. Of course. It’s a place I have no connection with at all. Right, a place I have no connection with. To me. The crumpled, half-soaked tickets. Amusement park. Things like lovers’ day.

“…”

Suddenly, my lips felt dry. I didn’t know why I was so heated up. I moistened my tongue with tension. Then, I brushed my now-dry pants with my palm and carefully opened my mouth.

“How much are you selling them for?”

Hmm. Kang Soohyun, who had been groaning to himself, brightened his face and spread out ten fingers.

“Uh, um, I’ll give you a discount for three tickets.”

“30,000 won? Isn’t that too cheap?”

Is it? Is that the right price? I don’t know much since I’ve never been to an amusement park. I’ve never even thought of going, so I don’t know. My parents were so busy that my ordinary memories were much scarcer than others’.

“Are you crazy? Of course, it’s three 50,000 won tickets!”

So it was cheap after all.

Well, it’s pretty shameless not to give a discount on such crumpled tickets. Thinking that Kang Soohyun at least had some conscience, I hesitated, stumbled, and dropped my wallet several times. Feeling unnecessarily guilty, I cleared my throat, took out 150,000 won from my wallet, and extended it towards Kang Soohyun, who snatched it away quickly like a fish caught on a fishing rod.

“No refunds.”

“You said you’d sell them cheap. It’s a bit much to ask for a refund after getting them cheap, isn’t it?”

Isn’t that obvious? I frowned and replied, and Kang Soohyun’s expression was a bit strange.

“You…”

“Why?”

“You’re drunk, seeing as your judgment is impaired.”

“No, I’m not.”

What is he talking about now? I shook my head without releasing my frown. Then Kang Soohyun looked at the tickets, the 150,000 won, and my face alternately, then suddenly made me do something strange.

“Say, ‘The giraffe picture I drew is a well-drawn giraffe picture, and the giraffe picture you drew is a poorly drawn giraffe picture.'”

“Ah, no.”

“Just try it once.”

“Why are you making me do something like this?”

Annoyed, but thinking it was better to just get it over with, I opened my mouth, bothered by Kang Soohyun’s constant nagging.

“The giraffe picture I drew is a well-drawn giraffe picture, and the giraffe picture you drew is a poorly drawn giraffe picture.”

“As expected.”

“I did well.”

“You’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk. I got everything right just now.”

“No, you didn’t get anything right.”

“Funny,” I scoffed, and shouted again.

“Listen closely. I, the giraffe drew a giraffe… Wait, let me try again. I, I, the giraffe giraffe…”

Giraffe, drew, green, picture… I stuck out my oddly tangled tongue a little and relaxed it. I was sure I got it right earlier. Why is it suddenly like this? I took a deep breath, bit my lip, and then opened my mouth energetically again.

“I, I bet the giraffe picture drawn by Green is!”

And my sentence remained unfinished. It was because of Kang Soohyun, who suddenly looked at his watch, set the mood, and then started rambling with a greasy smile.

“Remember. It’s 9:38 PM right now.”

“…I, I drew. Ahem. Ahem!”

“Your alcohol tolerance. One bottle of soju, three glasses of beer. That’s your maximum. And that’s the difference in our levels, between you, who’s completely wasted, and me, who’s still sober.”

What was he even saying? I just sat there dumbfounded, and Kang Soohyun delivered the final blow.

“For a first-timer, you drank quite a lot.”

“No, I’m not drunk. Look now. I’m speaking perfectly clearly.”

“I cut you off just in time. If you drink one more glass here? You’ll go straight to the afterlife.”

He kept getting on my nerves. Normally, I would just say, “Oh, okay,” and bury my annoyance, but it was strangely childish and teasing, and I couldn’t stand the petty irritation. Out of sheer stubbornness, I snatched the soju bottle right in front of Kang Soohyun and filled my glass.

“No, no, if you drink that, I’ll be the one who has to take responsibility. Mmm, mmm, that’s a very bad choice.”

“What if I drink it and don’t get drunk?”

“I’m telling you, you’ll black out from here, one hundred percent.”

“Then a bet…”

I was just about to raise the glass to my lips. My phone, which I had tossed somewhere in the corner of the table, suddenly flashed brightly and then started ringing louder and louder. My gaze turned, and at the name of the caller, the words I was about to say were cut short.

‘Go Yohan’

I quickly wiped the grease off the screen with my palm and pressed the call button.

“Hello?”

-Where are you?

No greeting, just straight to the point. I subtly pouted.

“Who is it?”

Kang Soohyun craned his neck and asked from across the table. I lightly ignored Kang Soohyun.

“I’m having dinner. You were sleeping, so I just came out alone.”

-I asked where you are.

Ah, I didn’t say where I was. I lightly slapped my cheek and opened my mouth again.

“It’s an all-you-can-eat meat restaurant… The address here is…”

“Who, who is it? Who was sleeping? It’s not who I think it is, right?”

“The address is a bit complicated. It’s about a 30-minute taxi ride, though.”

-Then write down the address and send it. I’ll go.

“You’re coming here?”

-Yeah.

He must have just woken up. I briefly lifted my head and looked at the clock. 9:50 PM was an awkward time. He must be tired from studying, and I didn’t want to make him drag his weary body out for nothing, so I hesitated for a moment, then sniffed.

“The store will close soon.”

-Doesn’t matter. I’m coming to walk you home.

“It’s okay, I’ll be leaving soon anyway.”

“Good! Tell him not to come!”

A rustling sound came through the speaker. The sound of something being picked up, and footsteps. At the rather bustling sounds, I quickly spoke.

“I’m really fine.”

-I’m not going because of you.

“Oh, really?”

How embarrassing. I scratched my ear. He should have said so earlier. I needlessly rattled off embarrassing lines too hastily. I felt Kang Soohyun, who had somehow gotten up, grab my shoulder and shake me, but I leaned my ear deeper into the speaker. So I’ll send you the address… It was just then.

-I’m going to kill Kang Soohyun. That bastard next to you is Kang Soohyun, right?

No, he wasn’t. I gave a firm answer to his firm statement.

“I’ll just go home first.”

-No, send the address. It’s fine.

“Uh, okay.”

Well, Go Yohan wasn’t someone who would listen if I tried to stop him. I’ll just send him to some random meat restaurant near the intersection and wait there. It was a contradiction in words and actions, but it was a strategy for Kang Soohyun’s sake. Still, Kang Soohyun, who was still shaking me, looked a bit pitiful.

“What did he say? He’s not coming? You said you’d just leave?”

“Then I’ll hang up. I’ll search for the location right away and send it.”

“What? Why are you searching for the location? What are you sending!”

-Okay, see you later.

“Yeah. See you later.”

Even after the call ended, I hesitated to press the power button. It was strange, but the end, which would have been merciless before, now left a subtle lingering feeling. Even the faint white noise and breathing that caught in my ear felt like a conversation I didn’t want to miss. When the rustling continued without disconnecting, I opened my mouth first.

“You hang up first.”

-You hang up.

“Alright, I’m hanging up?”

My playful words were met with a low, throaty laugh. He definitely just woke up. His voice, thick with sleep, tickled my ears.

-Yeah, you hang up.

I don’t know why his subtly mumbling low voice sounded so good. I needlessly scratched the ear opposite the phone and then hung up abruptly without a word. I just felt like scratching my whole body. And looking at the cluttered home screen with apps, I unconsciously let out a small laugh.

I must be truly crazy. I shook my head slightly and turned my gaze to the culprit that had been so noisy all this time. There was Kang Soohyun, shoulders hunched and teeth bared, like a frightened wildcat.

“…What are you doing?”

“Was that your friend just now?”

At his words, I looked at my home screen again and nodded indifferently. At the same time, Kang Soohyun went pale. What could be so terrifying? On the contrary, I was dumbfounded.

“Tell him not to come.”

“Can’t.”

“No, why? It’s late, your friend will suffer. It’s very, very rude. Let’s change our minds. Call him.”

“I said no.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to see him.”

“Huh?”

Why was he making such a dumb expression? Isn’t it obvious? I opened my mouth again, still feeling like I was floating on clouds.