Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 153 Go Yohan's Quiet Report

The untimely monsoon season began. Mud splattered on white sneakers. Water that should have flowed down the drain instead pooled in irregularly hollowed-out puddles, festering. It was the trace left by asphalt repeatedly patched without a plan.

The newly moved-into neighborhood smelled of dead fish. The scent of tap water ice, Freon gas, and an ancient sea. The ‘new-style apartment’ built atop karaoke bars, old barbershops, and red-light districts was the epitome of the lower class in a secondhand luxury coat.

The neighborhood, quiet all summer break, regained its fervor as soon as the new semester began. The frequency of an older woman stepping out for a cigarette in front of the bangseokjip (a type of bar) – located fifteen minutes from school and five minutes from home – increased. During the break, it was hard to run into her even once a week, but now I see her twice a day: on the way to school and on the way back.

Today, too, that woman was standing in front of the signboard, watching the rain, breaking up ramen and eating it. She quietly watched me waiting for the green light at the crosswalk, then spread all ten fingers. I pretended not to see and turned into an alley.

“Come to the front of the convenience store.”

It was to deliver the umbrella to Go Yohan as quickly as possible.

“Am I someone who goes when you tell me to go, and comes when you tell me to come?”

Did he think I was his servant? Go Yohan, as if to show off, didn’t carry a bag, a pencil case, or even an umbrella on rainy days. And whenever it rained, no matter where he was, he always called me out.

“So annoying…”

I was an idiot too, always escorting Go Yohan home, even though I complained it was annoying.

Muddy water seeped into my sneakers, covering the soles of my feet. With every step, water and air escaped between the shoes. Past the mint candy, Marriage Bond, and Yewoo Motel, a yellow car guidance sign appeared. Beneath the heavily rusted sign was a sewer drain, its inside corroded brown.

If it was a sewer drain, the end should be corroded, so why was the inside corroded? I had once heard a ghost story about this, but it was a childish thought a primary schooler might have, so I stopped trying to recall it.

Rain poured down like hail, drumming on the umbrella. The barber shop sign whirred. The umbrella in my left hand pointed to the sky, while the one in my right tapped the ground, dragged along.

A green canvas roof, with “Super” and “Tobacco” written on it.

And there, in between, was Go Yohan.

Go Yohan showed me his palm, then quickly folded his fingers one by one and unfolded them in reverse. And at the tip of his fingers, a familiar yet unfamiliar cigarette butt hung. From that moment, I held my breath.

The time, space, and faint emotions surrounding us gradually began to fill our world, and many things changed. For the record, Go Yohan lost his religion and strayed from the righteous path.

Annoying.

Anyway, Go Yohan only does things that catch my eye. Whatever it may be.

“You’re here~?”

His bright eyes, meeting mine, shone sharply. He always had such a fierce face. And on that fierce face, incongruously long eyelashes adorned that sharpness precariously and splendidly. Even the gap of white visible beneath his pupils. I felt an itch all the way to my scalp and pretended to fold my umbrella, averting my gaze. Go Yohan was always dangerous to look at.

“You came so late, I’m completely drenched.”

Perhaps displeased that I wasn’t looking at him, Go Yohan tapped my cheek with the hand not holding the cigarette, as if knocking. The scent of soap wafting from behind him made me dizzy. Is he crazy?

“I know.”

“Jun-ah, don’t just say you know, I’m completely drenched.”

Go Yohan drew out his words and held both arms forward. Water droplets ran down his white T-shirt, which was a bit too large, revealing his sharp shoulders even more clearly. What was with that silly grin, looking like a drowned rat? I looked at Go Yohan’s hand, glistening with water.

I saw the cigarette.

Go Yohan held his cigarette in a peculiar way. Like a changed chopstick grip. Watching the cigarette nestled between Go Yohan’s fifth and fourth fingers on his right hand, I quietly swallowed.

“I told you to take an umbrella this morning. That it would rain.”

“Jun-ah, what are you looking at?”

Go Yohan’s lips curled up at my words. And deliberately, as if to show off, he put the cigarette, wedged between his fifth and fourth fingers, into his mouth. His bent wrist was quite unpleasant to look at. This time, to avoid the cigarette butt, I only looked somewhere around Go Yohan’s collarbone.

“Just looking straight ahead.”

Go Yohan inhaled deeply, making his cheeks hollow, then exhaled the smoke with a sneer. Only then did he answer my warning, which he had nonchalantly ignored.

“If I leave it like this, you’ll come pick me up, won’t you?”

“Please, stop calling me. I’m busy.”

“Of course you’re busy. Your classes have so many goddamn exams.”

“Look who’s talking. Don’t you? You’re in a busy major too.”

“They said to enjoy the privileges of a freshman.”

Go Yohan closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, then opened one eye. Both eyebrows rose high, then settled. And his sharp eyes curved deeply like a crescent moon at midnight. ‘Idiot.’ That was his answer.

“…What a nerve.”

I tapped the ground with my unfolded umbrella and retorted gruffly.

Because of his unique smoking posture, Go Yohan covered his face with his fingers every time he inhaled smoke. His closely trimmed fingernails scratched his forehead, hidden by his bangs. Then he turned his head away, subtly lowered his hand, and exhaled a long stream of smoke. The gray smoke was swallowed by the downpour.

“Jun-ah.”

“…”

“Jun.”

I just watched Go Yohan, who called my name several times as if demanding an answer. Go Yohan didn’t put the cigarette back in his mouth but instead placed his lips between his fourth finger and middle finger, which were awkwardly parted. The cigarette filter dangled precariously beneath Go Yohan’s chin. Is he not going to smoke it, with the filter burning down? I held my breath against the strong cigarette smell, frowning.

“You have no sense.”

Go Yohan chuckled softly and continued.

“Everything I do is to get your attention. You should guide me to the right path, shouldn’t you?”

“Jun-nim will show me the way in detail.” Go Yohan, mimicking a biblical tone, squinted and smiled. He seemed to find it funny. I never smoothed out my frown.

“Why is someone who wants to go to heaven smoking?”

“What, you can’t go to heaven if you smoke? Then half the world would go to hell.”

“…You didn’t use to smoke, you know.”

A tone full of complaints slipped out without me realizing it. I didn’t particularly want to correct it. Was it because I knew Go Yohan knew my personality was eccentric and strange, or just because it was Go Yohan? I often became crookedly honest.

And every time I showed this attitude, Go Yohan would look at me with a subtly, quietly satisfied gaze. He knew that I let my guard down only in front of him. How annoying.

“That’s right.”

But why? I deliberately cleared my throat loudly, giving Go Yohan a hint. He took a step back, but didn’t put out the cigarette.

“But you know, people’s beliefs change depending on what they believe in. Don’t they?”

“What?”

Go Yohan put the filter back in his mouth and inhaled deeply. The butt, dangling from his pinky finger, looked precarious. And as he inhaled the smoke, he lowered his eyes and stared intently at something. I naturally followed his gaze and lowered my head. Shit. I hastily turned my body slightly to the side.

Gray smoke seeped through Go Yohan’s lips, following a silent laugh.

“…Hey.”

“What can I do if you’re turned on by a smoking piece of trash? I have to make a sacrifice.”

“What, smoke, smoke? Me?”

“No?”

“Not at all.”

“Really? Why?”

Go Yohan asked with genuine curiosity, then raised his fingers to his lips again. It was I who was flustered. Isn’t it obvious? I looked at Go Yohan uncomfortably, then, at his expression urging an answer with blinking eyes, I forced my mouth open.

“It’s bad for your… health.”

“Wow, Jun-ah.”

Jun-ah. His lips, holding the filter, mumbled the pronunciation inaccurately.

“You’re really wholesome, aren’t you?”

Go Yohan chewed on the filter. Thanks to that, his lips curled up as if in a sneer. No, looking at his eyes, it seemed like he really was sneering. Haha. Go Yohan exhaled a faint puff of smoke and continued.

“Jun must really love me. To worry about such little things.”

“Of course…”

Of course I would. He’s doing something I swore I’d never do in my life. For that rotten bastard.

I stopped mid-sentence and roughly scratched my head. For that rotten bastard, I spread my legs and even took his ridiculously huge dick. Son of a bitch. This bastard should also experience being fucked by his own dick. Only then would he know how much it feels like dying.

“Not that much.”

I spat out a shameless lie out of spite, and Go Yohan roughly pulled the filter from his mouth. His lips, gripping the filter, stretched slightly, revealing red inner flesh. His eyes, like a snake hiding in the mud, waiting for a fleeting moment, grew colder. This time, Go Yohan placed his dry lips between his middle and index fingers. A heavy black dot in his bright pupil stared intently at me.

“Not that much?”

“…Yeah.”

“Oh, really?”

It was a playful question, but the tone was unpleasant to hear. A sharp barb was embedded in his words. The pouring rain’s humidity seeped into my clothes, dampening me. And the black dot still persistently stared at me. Go Yohan held his fingers close to his lips and slowly tilted his head back.

“…Hey.”

Go Yohan reached out and pressed my lower lip with his unmoving index and middle fingers. “Hey.” The moment I uttered that word, Go Yohan’s fingers roughly entered my mouth. Th-this crazy— I glared at Go Yohan and lightly bit his fingers. Go Yohan’s fingers tasted of alcohol. Then, with clumsy force, Go Yohan spread his fingers, opening my lips.

“Hah-ee-ah.”

I tried to bite Go Yohan’s fingers again, meaning “get lost,” but Go Yohan withdrew his hand leisurely. Just the tips of his fingers lingered on my lips. He really used his body with amazing freedom. Or perhaps my love for Go Yohan, which prevented me from hurting him, was greater than his playfulness.

Anyway, stupid Kang Jun. In the end, in front of the old supermarket, I ended up with my lips disgracefully parted by Go Yohan.

Go Yohan, holding my chin with his left hand, pressed hard on my cheek with his fingers. His mouth was still smiling playfully, but his pupils were black and hazy, as if covered in fog. Looking at me with those black eyes, he said:

“Jun-ah.”

“Ah.”

“Just kidding, right?”

Then he put the filter he had been holding into my mouth. The only gentle thing was that he didn’t exactly put it in my mouth, but rather rested it on my lips, then closed my mouth for me. And Go Yohan took his hand away from my lips. I coughed subtly at the faint, rough scent that entered.

Go Yohan seemed satisfied with my small cough. He smiled very contentedly.

“You’re gonna get it, seriously.”

Then he put his lips between his index and middle fingers again. In that state, before opening his mouth wide, he looked at me and said:

“Get this straight. Not that kind of thing, I like this kind of joke.”

What is that?

No, never mind. I didn’t need to ask. Because Go Yohan looked down at me and stuck out his tongue. His red tongue stickily licked the thin skin connecting his index and middle fingers. What is he doing? Before I could even ask, Go Yohan’s eyes followed me as he shoved the thin skin he was licking into his mouth.

Seeing Go Yohan suck on the thin skin connecting his index and middle fingers, I understood immediately.

This crazy bastard… Even as my body convulsed from the relentless smoke, I couldn’t close my eyes, captivated by Go Yohan’s gaze. His seductive eyes swept over my neck, and I heard a vulgar sound that made me want to cover my ears. The sound of dry lips, saliva, and fingers mixing.

At the same time, my core began to tingle.

“…”

I straightened my body, which had been bent over, letting out small coughs similar to hiccups. To hide my trembling body from excitement, I lifted my head and spat the cigarette hanging on my lips onto the ground.

The half-burnt butt rolled on the ground, then fell into the muddy water and was swallowed. Go Yohan watched the dying butt, his eyes crinkling into a long smile, then made a ‘pop’ sound as he pulled his lips away. A transparent string stretched long between his index and middle fingers. I clenched and unclenched my hand, hidden in my sleeve. A voice, pressed and compressed beneath his vocal cords, came out in front of me.

“I want you to suck this, like this.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever lick your fingers.”

That’s a lie. In fact, I think I’ll definitely end up licking them someday. Kang Jun is secretly quite lewd. He’ll put those long fingers in his mouth, bite them, suck them, do all sorts of things. It’s just that Go Yohan is annoying and spiteful, so I simply wouldn’t admit it.

“Fingers, Jun-ah. Why would you lick fingers when there’s nothing to do?”

“Then why did you do that?”

“It’s a preliminary explanation. From now on, what you have to do is not lick fingers, but…”

Go Yohan’s wet hand slowly descended. His long fingers touched his jeans, which were darker than usual from the rain. His fingers, suspended in the air, gently traced a circle. No way. My mind went blank. It can’t be. No way.

And Go Yohan still brutally betrayed my expectations. Because what he said, as he ran his fingers up the protruding zipper, was truly shocking.

“You have to suck here.”

“Are you crazy?”

“Crazy? When you’re in love, you’re half-crazy.”

Yes, but why are you saying that so brazenly?

“I love you quite a lot, you know.”

His melancholic face pouted his lower lip. Crazy, is he trying to act cute or something? I shook my head firmly.

“Don’t change the subject. And, my mouth will definitely tear. Your… shit.”

“Ah, that was the problem? I thought… Honestly, I’m not that big.”

“Not that big? Are you crazy? Are you, are you joking?”

“Try to make an effort before you give up. Do you have no tenacity?”

Go Yohan looked down at me with disdainful eyes. This bastard, seriously. I clenched my fist, which was filled with heat.

When Go Yohan took off his uniform, the presence of his lower body became even more pronounced. Even in slightly loose jeans like those, the area where the zipper went up was always subtly thick. That is, there was always a curve there. Moreover, every time he changed his posture, I could witness it bulge and disappear. At this point, the sheer intimidation of it was enough to make my head go pale with fear.

It might have been a different story if it had shrunk by half right here. I would have been willing to do that much. As I was thinking that, Go Yohan, as if he had read my mind, said in a serious voice:

“You’re really too much. Do you think I was born wanting to be like this? And I can’t just shrink it, can I? I’ve never even heard of a surgery to reduce a dick in my life.”

“…Please don’t use explicit words in public.”

“Don’t be such a wuss. There’s no one on the street anyway.”

“The store owner is there!”

“The bald guy? He’s sitting at the counter reading erotica.”

“Hey, that guy’s older than your father.”

“Judging by the level of what he’s reading, I think I can use informal speech with him.”

Go Yohan poked his left temple with a long finger. Thanks to that, his slightly damp, somewhat curly hair swayed. He twisted his hair around his finger, puffed out his thin cheeks, then exhaled air. His lips trembled, and his puffed cheeks deflated.

“Just adapt. Think of it as eating a baguette from behind. Whether it’s the top mouth or the bottom mouth, it’s all going into the body anyway.”

“…”

Is he really crazy?

How should I deal with this logic? I squinted my eyes and even moved my eyebrows, but no solution came to mind. It seems the best way to end an argument is to make the other person not know what to say. That’s exactly what Go Yohan did.

“Then don’t make it bigger. Food doesn’t suddenly just get bigger.”

“That’s a difficult request.”

Go Yohan clicked his tongue, then placed his finger on the back of my hand, which was holding the umbrella. Then he slowly tickled it down and shoved his fingers between mine. Damn it. His hand, which had been twisting his wet fingers.

When I stiffly straightened my fingers, Go Yohan snatched the umbrella, which had lost its support and was tilting. Then, as smoothly as flowing water, he opened the umbrella. The thin wires stood firm with a cool sound. Raindrops, bouncing off the strongly opened umbrella, pattered onto the ground. Go Yohan looked at it with a very satisfied smile.

“See, even an umbrella stands up when you press it. How can you stop the obvious laws of nature, Jun-ah?”

What kind of flow is this? While I was flustered, Go Yohan wrinkled his nose and chuckled.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Am I that handsome?”

Indeed. There were days when Go Yohan’s melancholic face stood out even more. Rainy days were particularly like that. I declare, in good conscience: Go Yohan was exceptionally handsome on rainy days. Especially when wet, he exuded a unique atmosphere. Go Yohan’s face looked more impoverished than affluent, but sometimes that poor ambiance caught the eye.

No. My mouth, which was about to say that, froze. My lips fluttered in the air a few times, then finally uttered the words that had been sleeping deep in my heart.

“Yeah.”

And my pride came out with it.

“You’re usually just okay, but today you’re a bit like that.”

What am I saying? What nonsense did I just utter? I bit my lip tightly. I must have looked really pathetic just now. He must have thought I looked pathetic, because Go Yohan laughed, pushing up his chin with his palm.

“Ah, I was just okay usually?”

“Just okay.”

“Just okay?”

I heard several short, repeated laughs.

Suddenly, the world I was looking at was covered by a black umbrella. The umbrella, which had been tilted diagonally, gradually lowered, obscuring my vision. Go Yohan had done it.

I looked at Go Yohan with eyes full of questions. But it was already too late. Go Yohan lowered his eyelashes and pressed his face close to mine.

But I’m strange too, aren’t I? I should just avoid him.

“Jun-ah.”

“…”

I couldn’t avoid him. In fact, I had no intention of avoiding him from the start.

Go Yohan’s breath touched right next to my lips. This was outside, an old world, and right across the street was a street full of drinking and revelry. The ground was thick with torn promotional flyers, and Go Yohan’s and my sneakers were soaked as if pickled in water. And I’m too weakly closing my damp eyes.

“Okay.”

It was a very out-of-the-blue remark. A word that felt awkward even as I said it.

However, at my answer, Go Yohan gently opened his eyes. That was our last eye contact. And perhaps my lips touched first.

“…”

The touching lips didn’t smell of cigarettes. Only a rough scent, like a trace, remained. Strange. I raised my hand and slowly stroked Go Yohan’s cheek. And as I did, I pushed Go Yohan towards the window, which was covered with green sheet paper, obscuring the outside.

My slightly open eyes scanned the empty street. Ironically, my hand didn’t let go of Go Yohan. As soon as my fingerprint touched his thin skin, Go Yohan’s skin briefly tightened and then relaxed.