Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 132

The weather was unusually nice today. The only thing not nice about this situation was a drunk Go Yohan. Go Yohan and I were spending time sitting on the stairs leading into the apartment. Or rather, just me.

The dawn wind blew. Go Yohan’s thin hair tickled my neck and cheek. Through his fluttering hair, I could see his long eyelashes slowly blinking.

Ah, he’s awake.

“……Did that bastard leave?”

Is that the first thing you say after waking up? I frowned.

“He ran away as soon as he got out of the taxi. Why do you beat a kid like that?”

“He was putting on such airs, and it turns out he got a C-minus. That son of a bitch.”

“Speak more nicely. And yeah, I did ghost them.”

“If that’s the score just because you were missing… No, what was Ahn Jisoo doing?”

“Him? He dropped out.”

“Damn it, I should kill him too.”

“You can’t kill him. He went to the military.”

“Crazy.”

A soft chuckle brushed against my skin.

“Are you having fun?”

“It’s satisfying.”

“Yeah, it must be nice that you don’t have to go to the military.”

“What?”

Go Yohan’s faint laughter abruptly stopped.

“Why are you talking like that?”

His thin, fluttering hair gently fell from my cheek. Go Yohan straightened his back and lifted his head, his face quite serious.

“Are you going to the military?”

No, probably not. I’ll probably get exempted with a Grade 5 physical. I could clearly tell him that. But a desire for revenge against Go Yohan, who had made things difficult for me while drunk, welled up. Mischief, of all things, sprang forth at this moment.

“Of course, I have to go. Unlike you, I’m Korean.”

“……Really?”

“Of course, it’s real.”

He had been grinning and pulling me into his arms without a break, but then suddenly became serious. At the instantaneous change in his expression, I almost burst out laughing without realizing it. I quickly covered my mouth with the back of my hand. While I was distracted trying to hold back my laughter, a long finger came up. Before I could say “uh,” it gently took my arm. The hand that had been covering my face was slowly lowered by Go Yohan.

“No. Don’t go.”

That Go Yohan, with such a serious expression, was only saying “Don’t go to the military.” It was so childish and ridiculous that it was absurd. At the same time, an uncontrollable urge to tease him more welled up. Did I perhaps have a sadistic streak?

“I can’t just not go because I don’t want to. I don’t have foreign citizenship like you.”

“Can’t you ask your parents?”

“To not send me to the military? Are you crazy?”

But the more I teased him, the stranger the tickling sensation in my stomach became. It felt like I wanted to scratch the center of my heart. Thousands of ants seemed to crawl through all my veins. My face also grew hot, so I lightly pushed Go Yohan and stood up.

“You’re awake, so I’m going in now.”

“Jun.”

“Ah, why. Again.”

“Will you go to America and marry me?”

What.

Is that something to say while sitting on the stairs, looking up at me? Go Yohan must be completely insane.

“Are you crazy?! What kind of thing is that to do just because you don’t want to go to the military?!”

“We can just disappear once we’re there. I’ll give you citizenship. Huh? Don’t go to the military. Huh?”

“Ah, I’m not going! I’m not going! So please, just stop talking like that!”

“Really? You’re really not going? You won’t go, right? You promised?”

“Yes! I’m not going!”

I instantly shot up, turned my head, and dashed into the entrance. Crazy, this crazy Go Yohan. My head was spinning from hearing such sudden, strange words. I suddenly looked up and saw my reflection in the mirror in front of the elevator. There was Kang Jun, his face burning red.

“Crazy… I’m really crazy.”

And before Go Yohan arrived, I slapped my cheek hard with my palm. Go Yohan, who had followed me, looked me up and down as I slapped my cheek, then asked with a slightly bewildered expression.

“What are you doing?”

“Just trying to sober up a bit.”

I lied skillfully, subtly avoiding his gaze. Sober up? I hadn’t touched a drop because Go Yohan kept losing games and having to drink in front of me. Hanging out with him only made me better at lying. The number at the top gradually decreased. Ahem. Go Yohan cleared his throat beside me.

“……”

“……”

Go Yohan and I played an invisible tug-of-war. At least, that’s how I felt. Moreover, the subtle tension made me nervous, so I intentionally thought about useless things. The newly moved-in 48-pyeong mixed-use apartment boasted fast elevator speeds.

It was a jeonse, right? It must have been a jeonse. No, it was definitely a jeonse. There was no reason for my parents to buy a new apartment in this neighborhood with poor security. That’s how it is around universities. Noisy, lots of bars… It’s speechless that the pinnacle of knowledge, the university, is surrounded by bars, karaoke rooms, and brothels. Truly, it’s nothing but lewdness. That refined intellectuals enjoy drinking, singing, and sex.

A presence moved beside me. It must be Go Yohan.

He deliberately stood to my right. A faint shadow was cast in the silver elevator. The reflection, distorted by the uneven pattern, carefully turned its head. A hand slowly rose.

“That must hurt.”

A hand large enough to cover my face lightly pressed against the cheek I had just slapped.

“……”

“Don’t hit your face next time.”

“It’s my choice.”

“Don’t do that. It hurts the heart of a devout believer.”

“No, seriously… Are you going to keep saying that?”

“Why? Are you embarrassed?”

Of course, I’d be embarrassed. So what? I turned my head to shoot him a look full of “I’m so mortified I could die.” But Go Yohan kept looking straight ahead and didn’t see my gaze. But why was his hand still on my face?

“Good. I said it to make you embarrassed.”

“……I have nothing to say.”

“But I can’t say I love you, can I?”

I froze like ice. Ding-dong. The elevator arrived.

The hand that had been pressing and wiggling on my cheek left. I saw his back as he shoved his hands into his pockets and entered the elevator. Go Yohan, now facing forward again, leaned against the far end. It was a little while later that he looked at me, who was standing still like a stone statue.

Go Yohan, who quickly grabbed the closing door, looked into the air and added an excuse-like remark.

“I’m drunk.”

“……Yeah, you seem pretty drunk.”

I took a step. And I walked past Go Yohan, trying my best not to touch him. It wasn’t because I disliked Go Yohan for saying such things. It was purely because of me. I was afraid Go Yohan would hear my heart pounding.

The door closed, and only silence remained between us. I could even hear the sound of the ropes turning. Go Yohan leaned his back against the wall, and I stood in the corner. We stood like that for a long time, then I suddenly realized I hadn’t pressed the floor button. I cautiously glanced at Go Yohan, stretched out, and pressed a button for a long time. Judging by the slightly flustered “Oh” that came from behind me, Go Yohan seemed to have forgotten too.

There were four rooms and two bathrooms. I used the room with an attached bathroom, and Go Yohan used the one outside. At first, I made a few mistakes because I had never lived in an apartment with this kind of layout. I even tried to go down non-existent stairs in my sleep once. It was a habit, so I couldn’t help it.

After Go Yohan’s accident, our dorm room was empty for a long time, and I commuted to the hospital from my parents’ house.

It took about an hour and a half by bus from my parents’ house to school. Of course, that was just counting the distance; if it overlapped with rush hour and peak traffic, there were days when I wasted two hours on the road.

As expected, I was kicked out of the dorm after the first semester. My grades were too low, and my income bracket was too high. It was the same for Go Yohan. Immediately after that, we moved into the apartment I had already asked my parents about. It was the moment my wise foresight shone.

“We’re home.”

I glanced at Go Yohan, who immediately flopped onto the sofa as soon as I opened the door. Hoo-woo. A strong smell of alcohol emanated from Go Yohan as he exhaled a long breath. Alcohol alone would be fine. The cigarette smell from his scattered hair on the sofa was even more pungent. It was exactly as it had been absorbed from the bar. I was about to throw Go Yohan down and go into my room to wash up, but I suddenly grabbed the arm of the guy lying down and said,

“Get up. The leather will smell like cigarettes.”

“Ah, just a little bit—”

“Get up, you drunkard. I’m telling you, you really stink! If you’re going to sleep, wash up first.”

“You smell the same as me.”

Go Yohan, his head buried deep in the sofa, shrugged his shoulders. I let go of his unmoving arm, shook my head, and put my nose to my palm. My face naturally wrinkled. Well, if I was in the same space as Go Yohan, it was only natural that I would smell too.

“I’m going to wash up and sleep too.”

“Then.”

Go Yohan’s voice stretched out. Strange. He seemed to hesitate slightly. I stood still and looked at the back of Go Yohan’s head. Go Yohan’s hand, which had fallen under the sofa, slowly grabbed my calf. I couldn’t stand the ticklish sensation.

“Let’s wash up together.”

“What?”

He said it still burying his face on the sofa. His face was so deeply hidden that his voice came out muffled.

“Together…”

I couldn’t see Go Yohan’s expression. Fortunately, Go Yohan couldn’t see mine either. I quickly covered my heated face with my hands.

“Are you sane?”

“I’m drunk.”

His low voice was muffled by the leather, barely audible. Ah, only then did I finally realize.

“You’re lying, you’re awake now.”

My trembling legs couldn’t stand anymore, so I sat on the floor. Even then, Go Yohan’s hand didn’t let go of my calf. The face that had been buried in the sofa slowly rose. His eyes, hidden by his hair, were revealed. His light pupils were darkly sunken. Go Yohan’s Adam’s apple bobbed significantly.

“Jun.”

Thin fingers pulled up my pants. My exposed ankle met the cold air. The piece of apple swallowed in his thick neck moved greatly again. Our gazes met.

“……Wanna do it?”

I instinctively lowered my head. Because I understood the meaning immediately.

“……What.”

I asked, covering my flushed face with my hands. In fact, I knew, but I pretended not to. Go Yohan probably knew my habit too.

“What we did in the hospital room.”

That’s why he said it so specifically.

His face, shadowed by his already disheveled hair, smiled subtly. Go Yohan’s eyelids blinked rapidly. His tattered ears were noticeably red even in the darkness.

Our eyes met. Go Yohan smiled chillingly, as if certain of something.

“You’ll do it, right?”

“……”

What happened in the hospital room was still a taboo subject between us. I didn’t want to define the act with a word and concretely preserve that memory. Of course, it was an extremely inefficient rule. What’s the point if you don’t say it with words, when you’re chewing on it in your mind countless times anyway?

But I had to do it.

There was no need to name the path of a dropout that I had to walk and suffer. Sometimes there’s happiness in not facing reality. Even though it’s actually happening, there’s a big difference in not hearing it directly and not thinking about it with your brain.

“Please, let’s not think too deeply.”

Go Yohan propped himself up with his arms, raising his waist. Three weak fingers, clenched as if grasping air, awkwardly folded. In addition, two fingers, which had become Go Yohan’s happiness, pointed at me.

“Jun.”

“Huh?”

A foolish answer came out from between the hands covering my face. His narrow eyes half-closed gently and smiled. The finger that had been pointing at me moved like a conductor’s baton.

“Do you know why a human’s mouth is structured to reveal its inner flesh?”

“……No?”

“Then let’s find out now.”

It was a rule born of my stubbornness, but Go Yohan didn’t seem to have any major complaints. Rather, by keeping silent together, he had solidified Kang Jun’s defenses. He truly kept the childish rule well. And I was simply amazed by such a Go Yohan.

“You know.”

“I don’t.”

“Ah, seriously.”

“No, what is it?”

My body, which had been burning in my imagination, began to radiate heat from the parts furthest from my heart to maintain body temperature. Humans were born to live at 36.5 degrees Celsius. As my chest tightened with above-average heat, I felt my fingertips grow cold. My palms and every single finger touching the floor were pale.

“That.”

My gaze, which had been hovering in the air, landed again on Go Yohan’s fluttering, butterfly-like hand. A thought that had been crouching in a corner of my chest flew like a dawn insect and landed on Go Yohan’s slender index finger.

“Are you really okay?”

“……”

Go Yohan’s eyes went up. Like someone deep in thought. Hmm. The short sign of contemplation ended, and Go Yohan turned his head to look at me.

“There are two possible answers to the question I just asked.”

“……”

“One is that I’m okay, and the other is what would you do if I wasn’t okay?”

His body, which had been lying down, rose. The sofa creaked as it was pressed down. Go Yohan’s face was now filled with his familiar playfulness.

“Yeah, what if you’re not okay?”

My mouth was filled with stifling honey. I was literally speechless.

“……”

“Will you take responsibility for my life?”

I silently pushed my bangs back. The words that finally came out of my mouth were the kind of chicken-ribs words I usually kept stuck in the middle of my throat.

“……If you want me to.”

“Wow, how commendable.”

Hmph, a small snort cut through the dawn air. Go Yohan, who had lowered his feet from the sofa, rested his elbows on his knees and propped his chin, stared at me for a long time. I sat still and met Go Yohan’s eyes without flinching. That was what I considered my duty.

“Are you perhaps upset?”

“Of course—”

“……”

Of course—. There was a blank at the end of that. I swallowed and touched the tip of my nose. Go Yohan, who had been watching me, burst into his second laugh.

“Not at all.”

“……”

“Hey, I told you. Don’t think too deeply.”

His voice, tinged with laughter, strangely felt calm and melancholic. I suddenly thought, perhaps Go Yohan was born at dawn.

“They said you shouldn’t think deeply at dawn. They said all the thoughts you have then are useless.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know, if I know it, some famous person must have said it.”

I didn’t answer. How could I not think deeply? About Go Yohan, who had now become a scar in my life. The rebuttal boiling inside me was not spoken out loud.

“And what I want right now isn’t this shabbiness.”

“I’m shabby?”

“Yeah. Kang Jun is really shabby right now.”

Go Yohan said, scanning my face with his narrow eyes. At that moment, I recalled my first impression of Go Yohan when I encountered him among the many students in my first year. Go Yohan was clearly a supporting character. Why was he now acting as the director in front of me?

“If you insist on carrying something… fine.”

Go Yohan lifted his chin and straightened his back. The hand that had been touching his face lightly patted his knee.

“Just stay like this. Until I get tired of it.”

“……”

“If you feel more comfortable thinking you have to do something for me, then do that.”

Well, that’s enough for me. Go Yohan’s last words remained not as sound, but as a memory in my head. Go Yohan, who had a small responsibility added to his life at my request, suddenly raised one eyebrow.

“So, are you going to do it or not?”

In the end, it comes down to that, doesn’t it? Yes, Go Yohan is such a light, light person. However, if you ask me if I dislike that, I’ll be honest. No.

“Then, just for 3 minutes.”

Pretending not to, yet subtly setting a time limit, is the proof. There’s no particular reason for the limit. In fact, it was because I didn’t want him to know I liked it. After all, allowing it itself was a transparent act, so I had nothing to say. Anyway, justification was important to me.

“3 minutes?”