Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 115

He had clearly vowed to help Shin Jaehyun if he ever found himself in an uncomfortable situation. He still remembered it vividly.

“Jaehyun.”

“…Yeah.”

“If you’re friends with Jun, then we’re friends too, aren’t we? You and I. Isn’t that right?”

Go Yohan, pretending to be affectionate, sat next to Shin Jaehyun and asked a question whose intention was unclear. Kang Jun’s grip tightened on the coffee cup. He forced his body, which wouldn’t move, to stand up. Then he could look down at Go Yohan. That gave him a small amount of courage.

“Hey.”

Go Yohan turned his head to look at Kang Jun. The moment his eyes met Kang Jun’s, Kang Jun saw the corners of his lips curl up. That was annoying. Honestly, Shin Jaehyun next to him was practically invisible. Heat rushed to his head in an instant. He had coffee in his hand, and he had a lot of pent-up feelings.

Finally, he twisted his wrist, which had been hesitating for a long time.

And so, the black liquid poured entirely onto Go Yohan.

“You son of a bitch.”

“…”

“Shin Jaehyun is my friend.”

Go Yohan, with wide eyes, wiped the coffee dripping down his chin. The sight of him staring blankly at the coffee covering the back of his hand was comical, like someone who couldn’t believe what had just happened to him. He looked down at the dripping coffee, then back at Kang Jun, repeating the motion.

“…When were you and I ever friends?”

“…”

“We were never friends, not even once, you piece of trash.”

He deliberately ignored Go Yohan and grabbed Shin Jaehyun’s wrist. And with all his strength, he pulled him up. The large figure awkwardly followed. It was uncomfortable, so uncomfortable. Enduring that discomfort, he walked out of the cafe and looked at the window. Without realizing it. Then his eyes met Go Yohan’s reflection.

Go Yohan looked a little confused. He wiped his face, where coffee was still dripping, with his hand and followed Kang Jun with his eyes.

It was Kang Jun who looked away first again.

He pulled the wrist he was holding. But Shin Jaehyun, who was heavier than him, didn’t follow. Puzzled, he turned around, and to his surprise, he met truly calm eyes.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Well, um.”

Shin Jaehyun, having made up his mind, let go of Kang Jun’s wrist. Very carefully.

“I’ll apologize to Yohan and then go.”

It was a truly absurd thing to say. He didn’t seem to realize that Kang Jun had just saved him.

“…Fine, do as you please.”

He thought he was respecting his opinion and replying without lingering resentment. In fact, he might have even scoffed a little.

All the way home, his phone rang incessantly. It was useless to press decline. The call would just come right back. If no call came, a message would.

「Pick up the phone.」

The command, which started with ‘Pick up the phone,’ eventually led to ‘Where are you?’ and finally ended with a plea.

「Please.」

Don’t pretend to be pitiful. It’s just crocodile tears anyway. It doesn’t work anymore. Even when he tried to think calmly while walking, heat would rush up. To him, Go Yohan was such a presence. Suddenly irritated by the calls that followed him like an obsession, he furiously tapped the screen.

「Get lost.」

「I actually hate you so much.」

「Don’t even pretend to know me from now on.」

「I always thought you were trash, but I never imagined you’d be this beyond imagination.」

「All my affection for you is gone.」

「You knew so well that I hated you in the first year, but you can’t even tell I hate you now? No, don’t pretend you can’t tell, just please leave me alone. I hate you. I really hate you so much. It’s not a lie, I’ve always hated you.」

「Friend? Tell him to stop talking nonsense.」

「You must have thought I was a pushover, you son of a bitch.」

「You seem to think we’re really close, but don’t be mistaken. I hate you more than Ahn Jisu, more than Kim Minho, more than Han Taesan, and I think you’re more of an idiot than Han Junwoo, so please just get out of my life. Please. I’m begging you.」

「Blocked.」

The pent-up anger seemed to explode from his fingertips then. All unseen things enter through cracks. His emotions were the same. All the emotions he had suppressed forcefully burst through the cracks.

But the dam hadn’t broken yet. He looked at the messages he had sent in a fit of anger and thought, I’m screwed. But the water was already spilled. After much deliberation, he blocked the number and turned off his phone. It felt pathetic to awkwardly cancel, and deleting it would leave traces, which was even more pathetic. Anyway, since he had gotten into college, he concluded that he didn’t even need to go to school. He just needed to think of everything simply.

This was his chance to drop everything and leave.

All the nightmares, all the time that would be remembered as the worst period of his life. All of it.

As soon as he got home, he turned on his computer and looked at the acceptance screen again. It was still an acceptance. It hadn’t changed, it wasn’t a fantasy, it was reality. He had a place to escape to.

It was night. Someone rude was loudly banging on the front gate. At that time, he was buried in his cozy blanket, enjoying an unusually deep sleep.

“…dent.”

“…Mmm.”

“Student.”

“…”

It was the first time the housekeeper had woken him up in the middle of the night. He opened his eyes and was surprised to see her face right in front of him, and she calmly explained the situation.

“A guest has come… Shall I open the door?”

At first, he didn’t believe her and checked the clock with a frown. It was 4:20 AM.

“At this hour?”

“Indeed.”

“Who is it?”

“That…”

He didn’t need her to say it. It was Go Yohan. He threw himself back into the blanket with the incoming stress and groaned.

“…Ugh.”

“Shall we just ignore him?”

“Surely he’s not still knocking?”

“Yes.”

The housekeeper glanced through the open door and continued in her usual flat tone.

“Actually, it’s been an hour and twenty minutes.”

“…Excuse me?”

He was momentarily speechless.

So, she had just ignored him before. She only came to him because she couldn’t ignore him anymore. It wouldn’t be normal for someone to be ringing the doorbell and banging on the gate for over 80 minutes. He exhaled sharply, his breath caught in his throat.

“Go back and rest.”

“What should I do?”

“I’ll take care of it. Sorry for waking you up. You must be tired, go back to sleep.”

“Yes.”

As soon as she received the confirmation, the housekeeper left the room. He watched her unsympathetic back and then got up and sat on the bed. He brushed his already long bangs with his hand. If he stood up suddenly, he’d get low blood pressure, so he quietly groaned for a moment before getting up.

The winter morning air was cold. When he went out into the garden, it looked like it had snowed overnight. In the quiet stillness, he could hear the regular, cold thudding of the gate.

And Go Yohan’s voice.

“Jun.”

Before opening the door, he hastily tightened his hastily donned top and stared blankly at the gate.

“Juuuun.”

Through the small gap at the bottom of the gate, he saw familiar shoes and ankles.

“Jun, are you there?”

The soles of his shoes were covered in crushed mud, and the toes still had unmelted snowflakes. He waited, exhaling white breath, then finally moved his feet. Even as he grasped the latch, he constantly debated.

He didn’t want to open it. He wanted to ignore him. But he couldn’t abandon his lifelong values. He cared obsessively about what others thought and didn’t want disgusting rumors to spread in a neighborhood he was unlikely to move from. Go Yohan clearly knew that. That if he came to his house, Kang Jun would open the door no matter what.

It was unavoidable. Since he had resolved himself, he had no choice but to accept it. He closed his eyes and exhaled. His bangs fluttered. With trembling hands, he unlatched the gate and opened the door. Instantly, the smell of alcohol wafted strongly.

“…!”

Ugh. He hastily raised a hand to cover his nose and mouth.

“What…!”

“Oh? Jun came out.”

“Did you… drink alcohol?”

“I drank blood.”

What kind of nonsense was this again? He pressed his throbbing forehead, and the meaning of the words suddenly struck him. Ah.

“…Of Jesus?”

“No, idiot. How can you drink Jesus’s blood? I drank alcohol.”

He heard a clicking sound of his tongue.

“Just a little.”

He’s crazy. Completely insane. Was this really the same bastard who said those who didn’t follow rules would go to hell? He frowned at the pathetic sight. Annoyance welled up, but he took a deep breath and slowly closed his eyes. What was the point of getting angry? Nothing had ever gone his way anyway.

It was over the moment he opened the door.

When he gave up, his mind became calm. At least it wasn’t chaotic. Perhaps he was the one who should convert to a religion. He opened his eyes and shook his head lightly. His eyes met Go Yohan’s, who had been grinning playfully the whole time. The moment their eyes met, Go Yohan seemed to gauge his reaction.

No, he thought Go Yohan was gauging his reaction. He had to make sense. He clicked his tongue at his pathetic guess. Tsk.

“…What’s the big deal? I’ll be an adult soon anyway.”

He seemed to think Kang Jun had clicked his tongue at him. Judging by his excuses. But it was better than a long explanation, so he just pretended not to notice.

“Kids say it makes you feel better when you’re depressed. So I drank a little.”

“…”

“That seems to be true.”

The tall figure slightly raised his heels. What did he have to be depressed about? It was absurd.

“Don’t Christians forbid alcohol?”

“I’m Catholic.”

Hehe. He narrowed his eyes and grinned, as if spilling laughter onto the floor.

“All priests die of alcoholism.”

“…Don’t insult the religion you believe in.”

“Can I come in?”

“No.”

Kang Jun stared silently at Go Yohan. His salivary glands, as if frozen solid, ached.

“Just get lost.”

If Go Yohan’s face had crumpled as if he were about to cry at his words, Kang Jun must have missed it. Seeing the shameless Go Yohan, who didn’t budge at his strong refusal, Kang Jun spoke more harshly.

“Be grateful I even opened the door, and get out of my sight right now because you’re annoying me.”

“…You’re being harsh.”

“It’s not like I’ll ever see you again, so what’s the point of being careful?”

Has he ever heard the sound of snow falling? If not, today must be the first time. So this is what ‘softly piling’ meant. It was that quiet. White snow piled on Go Yohan’s black hair. Snowflakes gently rested on his long eyelashes.

“…You won’t see me?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“The mere fact that you’re asking me such a question is irritating.”

“…”

“So please, just go back to your house. I’m begging you.”

“…I don’t want to go there.”

Phew. Go Yohan pursed his lower lip and exhaled.

“Everyone in that house hates me.”

“…”

“I… I want to be loved, Jun.”

To suddenly appear and say such drunken things. Go Yohan had really hit rock bottom. Or was he revealing his true nature? Was it true that he never smoked or drank? How could Kang Jun know if he secretly did it? All of it was suspicious.

So he sneered. He did it without realizing it.

“It’s okay.”

“…”

“You are loved, they say.”

Go Yohan, standing outside the gate, stood blankly. He had been outside for so long that his already pale skin was red with frostbite. A small puff of breath escaped Go Yohan’s foolishly standing mouth.

“By whom?”

“I just heard it somewhere.”

“No, not that. By whom am I loved?”

His questions were strangely pitiful. And strange. Usually, wouldn’t ‘who did you hear it from’ be the right question?

“Does that person love anyone else besides me? More than me?”

“…Hey, Go Yohan.”

“Who else besides me?”

“Go Yohan.”

Why did he always have to receive unwelcome guests at his front gate? And why did he always have to give counseling? And why, even though he could kick him out, was he listening to him? As if his fate was destined to be that way.

He suddenly looked up at the sky. He scanned the sky, but no stars were visible. There must be stars up there, but they were hidden by the bright city lights.

He slowly opened his mouth. His breath rose into the sky.

This one time would be the last.

“There’s no one in the world who loves only you. Even my parents, who constantly say ‘our loving son,’ love their work more than me.”

“…”

“I learned that in middle school. Why are you so late?”

The ‘acceptance’ as a refuge gave him courage. Only after receiving the chance to drop everything and live did he finally say what he wanted. He could just leave anyway. Nothing was oppressing him now. That sense of liberation exhilarated him.

But Go Yohan, on the contrary, shrank. Strangely, as graduation approached, he became weaker. More and more, the more lenient Kang Jun became, the weaker Go Yohan became. It was the same right now. Go Yohan mumbled, his lips barely moving.

“But I’m not.”

At that, Kang Jun flared up. He wanted to blame Go Yohan no matter what. He strangely just hated that guy.

“You can’t have everything you want. You can’t be the best in every situation either.”