Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 107

That day, I went back and typed messages to send to Go Yohan until my fingers felt like they would burst, then gasped in horror and deleted it before sending. It was too pathetic to send as is. The patheticness of a defeated dog. Because I was so pathetic, stupid, and furiously hated myself for raging with a flushed face while lying on my bed.

Why did you lie to me? Why did you tell such a lie? Was I that funny to you? Damn it, was I that funny? Why did you make me like this? Just for your fun? Just for your pleasure? No, with my values, I can’t even understand you, and I don’t want to. And in the midst of that, I also hate my pathetic self for vaguely understanding why you did that. It’s embarrassing to even share the same values as you. Why did you do that to me? You dog-like bastard. Why did you do that to me? If everything you showed me was a lie, then why did you do that to me?

Pushing aside questions that felt like my head would explode, the question I carefully chose, now much calmer, was truly simple.

“Did you tell your mom that my grades dropped?”

Blink. His long eyelashes fluttered slowly. Through the narrow gap, innocent eyes like a child’s were visible for a fleeting moment. And he said something, but I can’t remember what it was. Anyway, whatever he said didn’t matter. There’s no trust in Go Yohan’s words. It’s obviously a lie.

I closed my eyes and opened them to see Kim Minho. That’s how quickly time had flown by.

“Shit, I almost forgot that handsome face of yours? Actor Kang, you’re really good at disappearing, aren’t you?”

“There has to be a limit, a limit to everything. It’s your fault for only sending useless messages.”

“What’s useless? You selfish son of a bitch. You, you bastard, you’ve lost my trust. If you just quietly eat up my words like that, I start to worry if you’re secretly comforting Go Yohan, you know? Huh?”

Looking at Kim Minho, who was speaking with a pig-like face, I got annoyed. Even though he’s just trying to use me anyway. And on top of that, he’s threatening me with ‘gay’ and whatever, what’s so great about him?

“Don’t say disgusting things, say something that makes sense.”

“A bastard who plays both sides shouldn’t say things like that. Why, surely you don’t think Go Yohan is pitiful or anything like that, do you? Perhaps pity? Or old feelings? Or are you going to offer yourself to him right now?”

“You’re talking nonsense.”

I scanned Kim Minho with contemptuous eyes.

“…What do I care if that perverted bastard gets ostracized or not? I just wish he’d die quickly.”

“Yes! This is it! This is the normal reaction!”

Kim Minho greatly rejoiced, clenching both fists tightly.

“I’ve thought about it a bit.”

“You… think?”

You? I didn’t say it explicitly, but Kim Minho reacted sensitively as if he had read my mind.

“Ah, damn it, do you think I was just playing around?”

“What… did you even train your body?”

It was a funny thing even for me to say. I shook my head to myself, said “Enough,” and stared intently into Kim Minho’s eyes. I didn’t want to know about Kim Minho’s supposedly fruitful summer vacation.

“Today’s Thursday, you bastard.”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s make it Friday. Tomorrow, right away.”

“…That’s too soon.”

“Stop bullshitting. If you’ve let it go past the break, you’ve waited long enough.”

His thick hand grabbed my shoulder and shook me violently. My annoyingly thin body flapped with his movements. I tried to stand firm, but my feet in indoor shoes pathetically slipped on the tiles and swayed. Barely regaining my balance, I turned my head to see Kim Minho wearing a distorted smile. My face burned. Damn it.

“Practice until tomorrow. Huh? Until tomorrow, damn it, let’s make Go Yohan a cripple. If you try to delay it any longer, you’ll get your mouth torn open too. You bastard.”

A strong grip was felt on my shoulder. They say politicians establish dominance through their grip when shaking hands, but the 4th-floor bathroom was no different from a gathering of politicians. I always lost in power struggles, and was always the weak one in terms of strength.

“…Alright.”

“Good. This ba-bastard, I was scared you’d beat around the bush again, you know? Huh? But our Kang Jun! I knew this bastard Kang Jun was good. Huh? Yeah, it’s enough if you finally understood. So, tomorrow, okay? Tomorrow… Tomorrow after school, call Go Yohan out. You find a suitable place. Got it? Huh?”

The hand on my shoulder released. As soon as Kim Minho let go, he spat phlegm onto the floor with a ‘Kaak-ptui,’ and leisurely exited the bathroom. Tidying my messily open shirt, I glared in the direction Kim Minho had left.

And when I returned home, I stood in front of the mirror in the dressing room.

“Ah, ah.”

Warming up my mouth, I rehearsed the words I had to say in my head. The words Kim Minho had set. That line. The words that could break Go Yohan. Wetting my dry lips, I opened my mouth. Ah, ah. The words caught in my throat like thorns, refusing to come out.

“…”

I clutched my throat, which stung even though nothing was caught.

The reason was simple. Because I was on the verge of Go Yohan’s downfall. Moreover, the handle of the spear that would pierce Go Yohan was in my hand. I tried to open my mouth again, but my throat was still choked. It felt like entering a tomb.

However, conversely, when I thought about Go Yohan and breathed slowly, a rage, betraying the affection I had believed in, surged up. Just as Go Yohan had thought of Han Junwoo as a false friend. Did he think of me as a plaything? Why on earth? I don’t even know why I became Go Yohan’s target.

“Right, I don’t need to go easy on Go Yohan. I don’t.”

I deliberately pretended not to notice the immense emotions trailing behind me.

“That bastard doesn’t deserve any leniency.”

Otherwise, I’ll be screwed by Kim Minho. I never want to fall back into that pit. That incredibly shameful and agonizing moment choked me.

Speak. Hurry, pull out the thorn.

My breath hitched, and I forced down the saliva that wouldn’t swallow. My mouth, opened with difficulty, quietly mumbled words I thought I’d never have to say.

“Go Yohan, I like you. A lot.”

I blurted out the words, then stared into space for a long time. A small curiosity arose in the quiet darkness. I stroked the center of my chest with my palm. It was the moment I placed my hand below my collarbone, in the center.

“Damn it…”

I bit my lip hard, in agony from my heart pounding as if it would burst. I quickly clutched my chest. Agony leaked out between my tightly pressed lips.