Define The Relationship Novel - Chapter 89

A different kind of brief silence fell. Karlyle silently raised the wine glass in his hand and moistened his lips. Natalie seemed slightly flustered, and Aiden seemed to be chewing on Karlyle’s words with one eye squinted.

Then, a laugh escaped Ash’s lips. Ash, who was sitting next to Karlyle, pulled him closer. Kissing his soft hair, Ash let out a satisfied sound.

“That’s right, we did. It sounds even cuter when you say it like this. Thank you for telling me.”

At Ash’s words, the atmosphere in the room relaxed. More accurately, it became lively.

“Are you just showing off that you’re the only one with a lover here? I’m jealous.”

Coincidentally, everyone seemed to be currently single, and Jenna said something like that, helping to lighten the mood.

“Oh, I was surprised when I saw the mark on Karlyle’s neck as soon as I came in!”

At Jamie’s loud remark, Karlyle coughed briefly. The tips of his ears flushed. He had considered ways to hide the mark, but finding nothing suitable, Karlyle wore clothes with the highest collar possible. However, it seemed to have little effect. Ash let out a chuckle that resonated in his throat and kissed Karlyle’s forehead. Ash’s pheromones pleasantly wavered.

“Right. And do you know how much of your scent is on his body? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you like this.”

“Oh, really? Ash Jones, you sly dog?”

Jenna, a Beta, asked back with a laugh, as if she hadn’t known. At those words, Karlyle recalled Kyle’s reaction. Due to Ash’s pheromones, which permeated Karlyle’s entire body like a band, Kyle had subtly expressed displeasure, asking if Ash Jones was doing that. Since Kyle was inherently sensitive to others’ pheromones, he had dismissed it without much thought, but now it dawned on him how much Ash had left his mark on him.

But what stopped Karlyle from feeling happy was the word “long time.” Something felt off. And his premonition was exactly right.

“You two look good together. This is the first time you’ve introduced someone to us since Hazel, so we’re all really excited.”

Aaron, who had been listening quietly, spoke up. He spoke with a wink, looking quite sly. His gaze unconsciously turned to him.

Hazel?

Karlyle slightly frowned at the unfamiliar name.

“Speaking of which, didn’t Hazel just get back to London? Did Ash contact you…”

Just as Johan was about to continue the story after Aaron’s words, Natalie interrupted the conversation.

“Alright, alright, shall we continue questions about couples over a proper meal? How about everyone moves to the dining area?”

“I’m in favor. It’s been too long since I tasted Natalie’s cooking, I’m already excited. But the house is too big, we can’t find the kitchen on our own. Karlyle, your house is like a palace!”

“Karlyle will guide you, so don’t worry. Right?”

Natalie skillfully changed the subject and smiled at Karlyle. Karlyle, who had been expressionlessly gazing at Aaron, first looked at Ash at those words. Ash had a faintly stiff expression as he looked at Aaron. Then, as his gaze met Karlyle’s cheek, he gently relaxed his expression and said.

“Would you mind guiding them first, Lyle? I’ll follow soon.”

Karlyle quietly gazed at Ash. Natalie had quickly tried to change the subject, but Karlyle easily understood who “Hazel” was. The word “long time,” combined with Natalie’s past remark that Karlyle was the second person Ash had brought home, easily provided the answer. Even though he didn’t particularly want to know.

Hazel was probably the first lover Ash had introduced to his acquaintances.

It was a clear fact. Karlyle lowered his eyes, suppressing an indescribable emotion.

“I will.”

He replied in a calm voice. Ash kissed Karlyle’s cheek as if to say he did well. The soft touch always brought a flutter to Karlyle, but now something was different. His heart felt heavy.

Second.

His position, which he hadn’t even thought about, was unexpectedly brought to mind by those who knew Ash’s past. Karlyle got up and followed the others without properly examining how he felt.

Even after Karlyle had led everyone to the dining hall where the meal would continue, Ash did not appear. Natalie, perhaps intentionally not looking for him, didn’t bother to ask Ash to come and began serving the lavishly prepared dishes. Natalie’s cooking was piled high in large serving dishes, easy for everyone to share. Karlyle, watching people help her, excused himself and briefly left the table.

Ash was still talking with Aaron in the same spot. Karlyle, who had intended to go inside, slowly stopped his steps at Ash’s rather serious expression. His black shoes pressed heavily onto the floor.

Standing silently in the shadow of the hallway, Karlyle strained his ears to the conversation. He knew it was extremely impolite to eavesdrop, but somehow he couldn’t move. His heart felt heavy at the feeling of being rude, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn back.

“So, please don’t bring up Hazel here. I’m asking you.”

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Aaron was apologizing with a sorry expression. Ash was silent for a moment. Karlyle saw his fingers running through his hair. It was a habit that appeared when he was troubled, and Karlyle hadn’t seen Ash like that in a long time.

“I understand that it could happen. But… I don’t want Karlyle to worry about such things. So please, I’m asking you. He’ll be upset if he hears about Hazel.”

That was true. Karlyle realized, after meeting Ash, that he was more possessive and greedy than he had thought. Because of that, he had never asked anything about Ash’s past relationships. Even before they became lovers, Karlyle had felt jealousy towards those who had been fortunate enough to be by Ash’s side. Given that, it was unlikely he would have asked such things now that they were dating.

“So, he doesn’t know about Hazel?”

Aaron asked back. Ash was silent for a few seconds before opening his mouth.

“I didn’t tell him. Things didn’t end well with Hazel, so I didn’t want to bring it up either. Can you tell the others too?”

“Ugh, I’m really sorry. I didn’t think about it. I didn’t even know you two ended badly. You two were doing well, and then Hazel suddenly went to study abroad. So we all thought you went to America later to see Hazel. And didn’t she sometimes come to see you even after graduation?”

Karlyle’s eyelashes slowly fluttered at the words flowing into his ears. For a moment, he couldn’t think of anything, as if everything in his head had been scooped out. Karlyle slowly moved his fingers and clenched his fist. As his fingernails dug into his palm, his mind returned a little. The things he was hearing were things Karlyle absolutely did not want to hear.

He didn’t want to know about Ash loving someone else.

Although he had been endlessly jealous of past figures in his mind, Karlyle had never actually confronted their reality. Ash, too, had never shown any signs or mentioned anything about it since they started dating, only valuing Karlyle. Perhaps because of that, he vaguely thought he could endure it even if he occasionally saw traces of the past. Because he believed Ash loved him.

But… what if he wasn’t the most special person to Ash?

An uneasy assumption he had forgotten for a while shook him. Even before dating Ash, Karlyle thought Ash had no reason to like someone like him. Unlike Karlyle, for whom Ash was the only one, he also thought he himself might just be a fleeting presence for Ash. The very fact that Ash had had many lovers made him think this even more, as Ash didn’t seem to be someone who could only hold one person in his heart, unlike Karlyle.

Thinking about this made things he had buried deep in his heart resurface.

“That’s not it.”

Ash replied, frowning as if it were preposterous. Aaron shrugged.

“Then tell me the reason later. Everyone thought one of you would get married right after graduation, but then you suddenly said you broke up, and we’ve been curious ever since.”

“If it’s okay, could you please stop talking about Hazel?”

A tired smile appeared on Ash’s face. At his polite request, Aaron also nodded. A belated awkward smile formed on Aaron’s face.

“Okay, let’s do that.”

As the conversation seemed to conclude, Karlyle turned his back first and took a big step. His trembling fingertips repeatedly touched and left his thigh. Karlyle returned to his seat expressionlessly. To Natalie, who asked where he had been, he fabricated a story that he had a call for work. He sat down. Aiden was looking at Karlyle with a strange expression.

Karlyle looked at Aiden, then lowered his gaze to the white, gleaming round plate. On the surface of the sharp fork next to it, he saw his distorted face reflected. It was as ugly as his ugly feelings.

Were they going to get married?

If his heart could be materialized, Karlyle’s heart right now would surely look like a crumpled piece of paper. His insides churned, and his stomach ached. He quietly picked up a fork. He felt stifled.

Whether Hazel was precious to Ash or not, it had nothing to do with Karlyle. Right now, Ash only had Karlyle. Not everyone loves only one person their entire life. In fact, such individuals are rarer. Karlyle knew that too. Aiden, for example, had dated many people, and hadn’t he himself not believed in the concept of love before meeting Ash?

He knew how pathetic it was to cling to or compare past events. Karlyle didn’t think he was such a fool. But everything crumbled when he got involved with Ash.

To be honest, Karlyle had thought in recent days that their relationship had reached its final form. He had secretly hoped that if they lived together like this, he might become Ash’s partner in the near future.

The thought that marriage was merely a tool had become a faint memory. He wanted to completely bind Ash. He wanted to share a surname and become partners who could legally interfere in each other’s affairs. He wished for society’s institutions to define them as one destiny. He wanted to naturally and proudly say that Ash was his partner. Because then he felt Ash would be completely by his side. He thought that since Ash was a good person, he wouldn’t even think of abandoning him if they got married.

However, Ash had never brought up the topic of marriage. Even after suggesting they live together and finding a house together, he hadn’t. Naturally, he decided long ago that he would try to be patient for as long as possible, thinking that time was needed.

But if there was someone before Karlyle who had already considered marriage, then all premises would be overturned. Did that mean Ash’s feelings for Karlyle were less desperate than those for his past partner?

The utterly childish thought stopped there. A hand touched his shoulder as he was lost in thought. Ash’s gentle scent wafted from behind him. Karlyle turned his head.

“Did you wait long? I’m sorry.”

Eyes with a tender curve were looking at him. It was always a beautiful sight. The way he looked only at him brought a breathtaking emotion. Loud voices boisterously echoed from behind.

His mind gradually cleared. This was supposed to be an enjoyable occasion. People had kindly visited to celebrate the day they officially started living together. Karlyle had an obligation to enjoy this time and entertain his guests.

Therefore, all unnecessary thoughts and emotions had to be erased.

When hurt, Karlyle, as he always did, overlaid duty onto his emotions. He had to make this day an enjoyable occasion no matter what.

“No. You arrived just in time.”

Karlyle met Ash’s gaze. He whispered to himself that he was fine. Ash looked down at Karlyle gently, as if assessing something. The direct gaze seemed to pierce through his state, and Karlyle naturally averted his eyes and spoke to the others.

“Now that the host is here, I hope everyone will enjoy the meal.”

Karlyle broke his promise to Ash. He had tried to follow the instruction not to smile, but he felt that if he didn’t put on an act, his dark thoughts would be exposed. He put on a smile, as he would when dealing with people in official settings, and made remarks that led the conversation. His lips curved upwards. A refreshing smile formed on his face. The expressions of the group seated around the oval table changed in surprise at the first smile that appeared on his cool face. Karlyle raised the glass of red wine. Then he looked at Natalie and spoke.

“Thank you, Natalie, for your hard work.”

Everyone raised their glasses, following Karlyle. Thanks to Natalie followed, along with a much more relaxed atmosphere than before.

Karlyle pretended not to notice Ash’s gaze on him and opened the curtain on the early evening.

The slightly awkward atmosphere after the mention of Hazel began to mellow as alcohol flowed. The bartender and servers Karlyle had hired in advance made drinks in the cocktail room. Everyone initially hesitated, perhaps finding it awkward to have hired staff at a small party, but once the alcohol set in, everyone seemed not to care. Natalie began to drink as if she had been waiting for this day. She mixed vodka with beer and kept offering Karlyle drinks.

At Karlyle’s demeanor, leading the conversation as if it were a business meeting, people began to approach him more easily than before. Those who had only guessed at Aiden and Karlyle’s status then began to ask all sorts of things about aristocratic society.

“It feels like being a monkey in a zoo.”

Aiden said, sitting next to Karlyle and swirling his wine glass. His well-combed blonde hair was slightly disheveled and falling down. They were out in the garden. The clock already showed ten at night, but the noise from inside showed no sign of diminishing, only growing louder. Like true Britons, once they started drinking, they seemed to become tireless and only increased their revelry.

“That doesn’t sound very good.”