Define The Relationship Novel - Chapter 80

Ash parted his lips, looking at Karlyle, who was gasping and his chest heaving. His finger rubbed the glans, which had just ejaculated. Hic, hic, Karlyle twisted his body as if to escape, startled. Ash quietly rubbed it, then slowly blinked.

“Ah…”

“I messed up,” Ash said. Karlyle looked up at Ash with watery eyes, as if blaming him.

“Lyle…”

More troubled than before, Ash ran a hand through his hair. Ash frowned, irritably raking his fingers through his hair, then let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry again. I just lost my mind for a moment. Right now…”

Ash’s lips parted, then he shook his head. His chest, which had been repeatedly swelling and deflating, gradually calmed. Karlyle was silent for a moment. He wanted to say it was okay, but the situation earlier had indeed been very embarrassing.

“Lately… you’ve been acting strange.”

Karlyle finally voiced what he had felt for several days. Then, he felt Ash’s pheromones flicker unsteadily. Ash blinked, looking down at him. His face was greatly shocked.

“Lyle…”

“I’m going… to shower.”

To be honest, he didn’t dislike it, and he felt a lot. However, it felt a little strange and awkward that Ash felt like a different person. Starting from the sex on the table, Ash had been much bolder than before.

It was different from the day he cried while expelling something close to urination. If that had happened when they were both aroused, this time Ash felt like he was initiating things that Karlyle found difficult to handle from the beginning. Did he dislike it? Was it a dislike?

“Lyle, wait a moment.”

Ash came after him with an anxious face. Karlyle stopped after only a few steps. He rubbed his flushed cheeks, then looked up at Ash. Ash hesitated to touch him, then closed his eyes and dry-washed his face. It was an action he had been seeing much more often lately.

“I’m sorry again. I just lost my mind for a moment.”

Karlyle hesitated. Rather than disliking it, it was simply difficult to handle. Karlyle still felt unfamiliar with the feeling of sex driving him so crazy.

He felt like he was becoming someone blind to lust, and that made him feel undignified. He didn’t care if others acted that way. But Karlyle himself felt awkward about himself.

“…No.”

“You’re going to see the house in a little while, right?”

Ash asked, looking down apologetically. Seeing his dispirited appearance, Karlyle’s heart melted like snow. He wanted to hug him.

“That’s right.”

“Have a good look.”

Ash told Karlyle in a resigned voice.

“I hope you find a house you like.”

With those words, Ash let Karlyle go. His chest ached strangely, so Karlyle stood still and quietly watched Ash turn his back.

Had Ash’s wish come true? The last house they saw was perfect, with nothing to criticize. Or perhaps it only seemed that way because Ash, who would have meticulously examined it, wasn’t there.

Karlyle took slow steps with a somber gaze. The sound of his shoes echoed hollowly on the marble floor. Since they started dating, he couldn’t recall ever having a conflict. Ash treated Karlyle carefully and cautiously. At the same time, he accommodated Karlyle’s demands.

But Karlyle, for no other reason than being excessively pleased by sex, had upset Ash. What was a little rimming, anyway? It wasn’t even an unlicked area, and they had already done worse things.

Karlyle’s heart grew heavier. Sadness overwhelmed him uncontrollably. Ash’s words, “I hope you find a house you like,” echoed ceaselessly in his head.

Ash must want him to leave after all. Since Ash was someone who wished for everything Karlyle wanted to go well, it was natural for Ash to think that way.

No matter how much he looked at the house, there was no reason not to buy it. The price was reasonable. It had a decent-sized swimming pool, and including the basement, the house was four stories tall.

The size, design, and location were all perfect. Although it was a 20-minute walk from Ash’s house, he could get there within five minutes by car.

To his secretary, who asked for his opinion, Karlyle said he had done well and asked him to put his name on the list. He could buy it immediately if he wanted, but a vague lingering attachment remained.

The sadness didn’t end there. Ash didn’t contact him all afternoon. Karlyle was on edge throughout his work, like someone waiting for big news. Alice eventually spoke to him, noticing him unconsciously reaching for his phone.

“Is something wrong?”

“No.”

Although he heard Alice’s thoughts, his mother was still a difficult person for Karlyle. He straightened his posture and shook his head. However, a text message that followed made Karlyle flinch and reach for his pocket.

“It seems like the call you were waiting for. Answer it.”

“…Excuse me.”

It would have been right to tell her it wasn’t, but Karlyle impatiently reached inside his suit jacket to check. The message was from Ash. But the content was not what he had expected.

[Sorry, Karlyle. Can you sleep at my family home today? Can you do that until the day after tomorrow?]

It felt like the sky was falling. Karlyle’s eyebrows twisted sideways. His eyelashes trembled anxiously. Ash must be angry. At him, who was neither understanding nor considerate.

If Ash said something like that, didn’t it mean he had been accommodating Karlyle’s stay out of consideration all this time? Aiden was completely right.

“Karlyle.”

Alice’s hand touched his shoulder. Karlyle flinched and lowered his gaze. Alice was looking at him. Faint concern was visible in her cool blue eyes.

“I don’t know what’s wrong, but… you can go home.”

“It’s alright.”

Karlyle replied in an uncertain voice. Alice shook her head.

“Go.”

Her tone was firm. His heart was torn in many directions. He had angered Ash and caused his mother concern. He was utterly pathetic. He thought that since he had hit rock bottom, the only way was up, but his current state was absurd.

“Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, isn’t it?”

A word he never imagined came from Alice’s lips. Karlyle’s plummeting mood briefly calmed.

“…Yes?”

“Have a good time with Mr. Jones. You can just rest this week.”

This was truly unexpected. Karlyle was flustered. To hear such a remark from his parents, of all people. Alice seemed equally awkward, as she squinted one eye at Karlyle before turning away first.

Only after seeing their waiting car drive off did Karlyle begin to mull over her words.

He had never celebrated this kind of commercial holiday. But he generally knew what kind of gifts were given. The problem was whether Ash would like it. How could he possibly appease Ash’s mood, who had asked him to stay at his family home until the day after tomorrow?

No creative ideas came to mind. Ash wouldn’t like gifts that were just about spending money. Karlyle’s thoughts drifted, eventually reaching the only acquaintance in his circle he could ask about such matters.

[Have sex.]

Karlyle had asked Aiden only one thing: if he had ever celebrated Valentine’s Day. Aiden had simply replied with one vulgar sentence. Karlyle frowned.

[Your jokes are excessive.]

[That’s the best. But you have to do something you don’t normally do.]

Karlyle had no intention of discussing such private matters with his acquaintance. As Karlyle didn’t reply, Aiden began to ramble on.

[It’s cliché and childish, but spreading chocolate on them is surprisingly arousing. But which of you is into that kind of thing?]

It was still not worth answering.

[From the looks of it, you’re obviously the straight-laced one, so if you do something your partner wanted but couldn’t normally do, that’s a Valentine’s Day gift. It’s expensive advice, so keep it in mind.]

Karlyle put his phone away. One or two more texts seemed to have come after that, but Karlyle didn’t check them. It was clear Aiden would be spouting nonsense similar to the previous messages.

He pondered for a full half-day, but his gift candidates were unsatisfactory. Trying to ignore Aiden’s words about having sex, which kept coming to mind, Karlyle thought of thirty-four roses, a watch, and dinner at Chelsea’s most popular restaurant, rented out entirely.

It seemed ordinary enough, but it wasn’t inventive. Still, it seemed like the best he could do this year. He had so much to learn in the future.

However, no matter how much Karlyle planned alone, he needed to know if Ash was available tomorrow. It would be awkward to suddenly make plans if Ash had something important.

After Karlyle’s text replying “Okay,” Ash didn’t contact him until nightfall. Fear and worry alternated. Sleeping was impossible.

At 10 PM, Karlyle forced himself to shower and tried to go to bed. But it was futile. He couldn’t sleep without hearing Ash’s voice telling him good night; it felt like insomnia had set in.

As anxiety multiplied, his stomach ached. Every nerve in his body felt on edge. The ticking of his wristwatch was so annoying it pounded in his ears. Enduring the slow passage of time was incredibly painful. It felt like something terrible had happened, even though they hadn’t fought.

Karlyle eventually changed his clothes. He put on a simple wool sweater and dress pants, then draped a coat over himself. Before heading to Ash’s house, Karlyle called him three times.

Ash still didn’t answer. Now, a sinister thought even crossed his mind: Had something happened? After all, Ash had never unilaterally avoided Karlyle’s calls. In the past, when he hadn’t answered his calls, there was a reason, and they weren’t dating then.

He knew it was rude to go to his lover’s house late at night. Ash usually didn’t go to sleep until after midnight, but this action might still displease him. But even if it earned him dislike, he wanted to confirm that Ash was okay. Otherwise, he might go crazy.

Worry overcame fear. Or perhaps, it was more accurate to say that worry became fear. Karlyle finalized his decision and drove his car to Ash’s house.

Ash’s house was dark, with only the garden casting an orange glow. The surroundings were silent. A cold wind blew fiercely, making his coat tails flutter. He hadn’t dressed properly, and the biting chill was sharp.

Karlyle entered the front gate after inputting the code. However, to get inside Ash’s house, a key was needed. England still had a significantly higher number of places that used keys. He wasn’t sure if it was a preference for classic things, but many houses used such doors even after extensive renovations.

Ash often left his key for Karlyle under a stone in the garden wall. Since a password was needed to enter the garden anyway, it wasn’t particularly risky. It was Karlyle’s first time exchanging keys this way, and he liked the subtly excited feeling he got whenever he performed such an act.

Karlyle turned around and picked up the largest of the similarly shaped round pebbles. The key that should have been there was missing from among the small stones scattered below. His insides turned black and felt empty.

What should he do?

He felt like he had ruined something. With trembling eyes, Karlyle stared at the spot for a long time. Did Ash not want him to come into his house anymore? He was so sad that he stood still for several minutes.

His courage dwindled. But having come this far, he had to check on Ash’s condition. The wind grew stronger, disheveling his hair. His cheeks were red with cold.

Standing there at the front door, Karlyle gently knocked. He hesitated to ring the doorbell because the lights inside the house were off. If they lived together, he wouldn’t feel this way.

Would it really take more than a year to become that kind of person to Ash? What if he didn’t become that person even after a year? What if he broke up with Ash? Ominous assumptions he hadn’t thought of for a while pounded wildly within him.

Karlyle, who had politely knocked three times, let his hand fall weakly. If Ash was sick, should he call an ambulance? If only he knew what state he was in, he wouldn’t feel so utterly lost.

Turning back worried him about Ash, but going in felt like intruding and overstepping, which made him sad. His hand lingered, rubbing the door.

The door opened five minutes later. Karlyle was debating whether to ring the doorbell. The temperature was dropping, and his ears were numb. Just as his hand was about to press the doorbell, the door burst open.

“…Lyle?”

A low, husky voice was heard. Warm air filled the space, along with an intoxicating amount of pheromones. Karlyle stepped back.

“Ah, I apologize.”

He apologized first. Ash’s face, buried in the darkness, was hard to see, making it difficult to discern his expression.

“How long have you been standing there?”