Define The Relationship Novel - Chapter 62

“I don’t dislike it.”

No, it was more than that.

“Actually… I like it.”

He liked holding hands. He had become accustomed to it. He recalled the times he had been sad that Ash hadn’t taken his hand first. But thinking about it, it was ridiculous. He could have just taken it first.

Because Ash, like now… would allow him.

His eyelids tingled. Ash’s gaze touched various parts of his face. Ash, who had been quietly observing Karlyle, slowly warmed up. A smile bloomed, and Ash approached Karlyle. The tips of their shoes touched.

“Really?”

“…Yes.”

“Hmm.”

Ash rubbed his cheek with his other hand, then curved his eyes as if at a loss. His lips twitched. He seemed like someone struggling to contain his joy.

“I’m sorry. I mean… I didn’t expect it. That day, after hearing Karlyle’s words, I thought it would take time.”

The hand that had been caressing his cheek cautiously reached out to Karlyle. The hesitant hand gently stroked Karlyle’s forehead. His fingers slowly slid down, caressing his cheekbones and cheeks. Karlyle blinked his eyelashes and lowered his gaze. He felt a little warm.

“How did you come here?”

Even though this wasn’t the first time they had touched like this, he felt more embarrassed than the first time. It felt like a long time ago. Karlyle asked what he had been curious about first and turned his body. Following the hand he held, Ash also walked beside Karlyle.

“Are you curious?”

Ash asked with a smile.

“I am curious.”

He was always curious about everything concerning Ash. It was natural.

“I’ll tell you everything Karlyle wants to know.”

A lovely answer came back. Having descended the stairs, the two began walking towards the back of the mansion leading to the garden. Marquis Gordon’s mansion was famous for its beautiful fountains and lighting. Although it was autumn turning into winter and there were no flowers, it had its own unique charm.

“My mother passed away early. And Philip was once someone my mother loved. Although they didn’t meet after she married my father, they were still good friends.”

Karlyle paused. He knew Ash had spoken of his mother in the past tense. A guessed fact was combined with an unimaginable story. Karlyle tightened his grip on Ash’s hand. Ash, who smiled softly and looked down at their hands, continued.

“My mother passed away in a terrorist attack when I was young. It’s a sad thing. She went out to buy art supplies for me… and met Philip there. At the time, Philip was still unmarried. He couldn’t forget my mother. Oh, he’s fine now. He has a son, and he seems happy in many ways.”

His heart ached greatly. Ash, expressing his sorrow so casually, made him feel incredibly sorry for him. At the tragedy Karlyle hadn’t guessed from the man’s smiling face, he wanted to hold Ash in his arms and give him beautiful things. He wanted to make him happy.

“Anyway, that day… my mother saved Philip and me, and then she passed away. Philip always wanted to repay that. He thought I had lost my mother because of him. Even though that wasn’t true… he suffered.”

As the quiet confession continued, they reached the end of the corridor. When Ash opened the door to the garden, a cold wind blew. Ash reached out his other hand and buttoned Karlyle’s suit.

“Cold, aren’t you? Shall we talk in here instead of going out?”

“If Mr. Jones is cold, it would be better to talk inside.”

At the address “Mr. Jones,” Ash paused. He curved his eyes sadly, then Ash quietly looked at the garden.

“Then… if either of us gets cold, we’ll come right back inside.”

“Understood.”

Karlyle turned his body towards the direction of the wind so that Ash wouldn’t be exposed to it. The sound of water from the fountain gently echoed. Ash looked at Karlyle for a moment, then pulled him closer. He slightly opened his coat and held Karlyle in his arms. It was warm.

“How is it?”

Less cold, right? Ash asked, curving his eyes. Looking at the face that required him to slightly raise his eyes to meet his gaze directly, Karlyle gently curved his eyes.

“It’s warm.”

Ash closed his mouth. He quietly looked down at Karlyle, then, as if unable to bear it, his other arm tightly embraced Karlyle. Their clasped hands remained.

“Just for a moment… will you stay like this? It’s hard to bear.”

Karlyle quietly buried his face in his chest. His entire body tingled. He slowly raised his other hand, which had been resting beside his thigh, and gently slipped his arm into Ash’s coat, embracing him back.

Ash’s embrace smelled of wind. He also felt Ash’s subtle and beautiful body scent. He could hear his heart beating. It was a beautiful sound he would never tire of hearing.

“You’re beautiful.”

Lips touched his ear. Warm breath tickled his ear. Karlyle lightly rested his forehead on Ash’s neck and closed his eyes.

“The engagement… is it okay?”

Ash asked cautiously. At his words, Karlyle blinked for a moment. He still couldn’t believe it. His sudden liberation from his duties. But, embarrassingly… he was happy because of it.

“You don’t need to concern yourself with that part.”

“It’s selfish to say, but… I’m happy.”

The arm embracing Karlyle tightened further. The strength that squeezed him to the point of pain was welcome.

“I came here today to talk to Philip. Philip has always sent me invitations since that day. He wanted to become my guardian and grant me everything I wanted to do. I never accepted. Because if I did, I felt like I would wish Philip truly was my father.”

The strength in his arm slowly relaxed. Ash now gently stroked Karlyle’s back.

“But that would be like denying my mother’s love. Hmm, this is a bit complicated. Can I explain it later if that’s okay?”

The word “later” was, strictly speaking, a word that postponed a clear outcome. Karlyle didn’t like that word. But Ash’s “later” was different. It sounded like they had a future. That made Karlyle happy.

“Whenever it’s convenient for you, please.”

“Karlyle might get bored, but I might hold onto you and not let go.”

Karlyle received Ash’s words skeptically. Even Ash yawning would be a very interesting sight to Karlyle. In that case, Ash talking would clearly never get old, even if he watched him for a lifetime. Karlyle couldn’t agree with Ash’s words.

“…Yes.”

Still, Karlyle wanted to affirm everything Ash said. The answer came out readily. Ash smiled brightly and continued.

“So, I haven’t met Philip since my mother passed away. Despite that, I shamelessly tried to meet Philip for Karlyle’s sake. Philip would be appalled if he knew.”

Ash let out a low laugh. Karlyle raised his head. The fact that Ash had tried to do something for him brought him endless joy.

“What were you trying to do?”

“Anything. Even something I couldn’t do.”

Ash’s face, bathed in amber light, was calm. The sparkling, breaking lights were like starlight resting on Ash’s face.

“It seems I’m not the naive one, Mr. Jones.”

The Marquis seemed like a good person, but that’s how things are with people. Karlyle felt fear at the fact that Ash was willing to endure any conditions for him. He was genuinely worried.

He had thought it before, but Ash was so kind that it wouldn’t be strange if he were scammed.

“Is that so?”

“That’s right. Knowing what conditions Marquis Gordon might impose…”

Just looking at his grandfather, Arthur, nobles with titles couldn’t be ordinary people. Karlyle frowned seriously and spoke. But Ash, far from feeling alarmed, smiled happily.

“Well, maybe make me polish shoes?”

He didn’t want Ash to do any difficult work. Karlyle shook his head.

“You don’t have to do that for me. However…”

“I can do anything for Karlyle.”

His serious voice was unexpectedly resolute, and Karlyle paused. The fact that Ash loved him had been slowly sinking in since earlier. He still couldn’t believe it. Because of that, Karlyle remembered what he had wanted to ask and say to Ash today, which he had momentarily forgotten.

“Then…”

He quietly inhaled. Their gazes were tightly intertwined. Suppressing his trembling insides, Karlyle, for the first time in his life, asked a question to understand another person.

“There’s something I want to ask you.”

He had always wanted to know about Ash. Karlyle hadn’t been able to ask Ash until now. It was an act that delved into an excessively private area, and it was something Karlyle had never done before.

“If it’s alright with you, I would appreciate it if you could… answer my question.”

But now he had a little courage. Ash was saying he loved him. Karlyle wanted to believe Ash’s words. He couldn’t live otherwise.

“I’m happy that Karlyle has something he wants to ask me.”

His anxiously trembling heart calmed at Ash’s words. Rubbing the back of Ash’s hand, which was clasped in his, Karlyle slowly opened his lips. What he was about to ask was truly trivial and pathetic. But Karlyle wanted to know the reason. Why Ash had done that.

“I called you.”

He recalled the night he had called Ash, missing him terribly. If Ash loved him, he wondered when he had started loving him. If Ash had disliked him on the day he didn’t answer the phone, then what had changed his mind.

“And Mr. Jones didn’t answer the phone. What I was curious about was whether you… liked… me after that, or…”

“…I called?”

Ash asked back, sounding very puzzled. Ash, who had frowned one eyebrow, tightly sealed his lips. His flustered eyes were visible. Ash ran a hand through his hair and asked again.

“When?”