Define The Relationship Novel - Chapter 60

Karlyle blinked. He thought he had successfully avoided places where people’s eyes would reach, but it seemed not. There must have been a witness. In that case, it was understandable. Welcoming a partner who seemed to have a flaw…

“Karlyle.”

Alice called him. Karlyle turned his gaze.

“May I ask who that person next to you was?”

Alice suddenly said such a thing. At the question about Ash, Karlyle closed his mouth.

“Kyle said he was the one you loved.”

Karlyle frowned. Kyle was an adorable younger brother no matter what he did, but it was probably Kyle who had brought Ash today. He hadn’t intended for him to get involved in things like this.

“You don’t need to concern yourself.”

“……”

Alice remained silent for a long time. Alice, who had been gazing out the door with tightly sealed lips, turned her eyes to Karlyle. Kyle’s bright blue eyes, which he had inherited, curved painfully as they looked at Karlyle. She seemed like a different person. Alice had never once shown Karlyle such an expression…

“I thought you were okay.”

Alice said in a small voice.

“You never once said you didn’t like something. You never said you were in pain either. I know. I raised you that way. But, Karlyle…”

As if unable to overcome her strong emotions, Alice squeezed her eyes shut. Her long eyelashes trembled faintly. The sound of her catching her breath was audible. Her hand, which had unconsciously reached out, twitched and then lowered.

“The moment I heard that you were pushing yourself so hard, to the point of collapsing from stress, I…”

His father, Jonathan, had once told Karlyle that he resembled Alice very much. Karlyle, who greatly resembled his father in appearance, suddenly recalled a memory he hadn’t empathized with. Alice, who had been steadying her trembling breath, opened her mouth again after another long silence.

“Your father… often said that if I raised you poorly, he would take you away himself. He was someone who would do just that. The fact that you were born between two Alphas was shocking to him. I didn’t want to lose you, Karlyle. I grew up under him, so I know.”

Alice turned her body. With her arms crossed, Alice showed her back.

“I thought that if I left you in your father’s hands, you would grow up unhappy… But now that I think about it, that wasn’t it.”

Alice placed a hand on her chin. Her fingers were trembling.

“You were unhappier under me, instead.”

Alice ended her words by burying her face in her hands. Karlyle, who had been silently watching his mother, unable to find anything to say, took a step forward. His hand reached out anxiously, feeling at a loss. His mother’s agitation made him uneasy. But Alice, hearing his footsteps, waved her hand, stopping him.

“I’m fine.”

Alice raised her head. Then she turned her body. Her blue eyes, filled with moisture, were visible. Despite her indifferent expression, Alice looked very pained.

“Kyle, and you, I made you both unhappy. It’s my fault for being inadequate. I dare not ask for forgiveness. However…”

The tears that had welled up finally streamed down Alice’s cheeks. Seeing them, his eyes stung. Something that had been tightly clumped together felt as if it was slowly unraveling.

“Jonathan and I… love you very much.”

That, too, was the first time he had heard it.

“Both Jonathan and I were too immature to be proper parents. In that case, it would have been right not to have a child. But the moment I heard you came to me…”

The tears that had gathered on her chin were seen falling to the floor.

“We couldn’t possibly let go of the miracle that came to us.”

Alice took a deep, broken breath. She repeatedly closed and opened her eyes, taking a large inhale. The hand she had extended to keep Karlyle from approaching remained. The stinging in his eyes intensified.

“So, Karlyle, do what you want.”

Alice said in a voice that had slowly calmed down.

“But…”

“I’m sorry.”

At the apology that followed, Karlyle could no longer open his mouth. His throat tightened. Alice raised a finger and quietly wiped her cheek. Watching his mother’s expression slowly return to normal, Karlyle opened his lips.

“Did I…”

Did I disappoint my mother? The unspoken question lingered in his mouth. But Alice shook her head as if she had understood his words. Jonathan’s words, that Alice and Karlyle resembled each other very much, flashed through his mind again.

Alice, who had shaken her head, turned her body. As quietly as she had entered, Alice left the drawing-room.

Soon, Karlyle was alone. In the quiet, silent space, Karlyle gazed at the spot on the floor where Alice’s tears had fallen. His mind was complicated. But he wasn’t sad. The pain in his stomach, which had been tightening at regular intervals, had now lessened a little. But more than anything, what surprised him was…

The feeling that he wasn’t lonely, even though he was alone.

Time slowly returned to its place. The moments that seemed as if they would drag on forever gradually settled into their orbit. It became a little easier to fall asleep, whereas before he could barely close his eyes without sleeping pills. His body, which hadn’t improved much even with Luther’s prescription, and his endlessly collapsing heart, gradually calmed down.

There were external changes too. The things that made up Karlyle’s life were still the same, but the most important thing had changed. He no longer had to be engaged to someone he didn’t want.

At early morning breakfast, Karlyle encountered Alice. It was possible because he was staying at the main house for a while after tidying up his own mansion. As Karlyle stiffened in the unexpected situation, Alice sat next to him.

As always, silence hung in the air. Alice said nothing until the meal was served. However, after seeing Karlyle not even finish half of the salad and omelet given to him, Alice was the first to speak.

‘You must still be very unwell.’

For Karlyle, who usually made sure to eat an appropriate amount unless it was an unusual situation, leaving food on his plate was unlike him. Alice pointed out that he hadn’t eaten because his appetite hadn’t fully returned. Picking up the knife and fork he had put down, Karlyle apologized.

‘I’m sorry.’

It was certainly shameful for a grown adult not to manage his body properly. Karlyle reflected. But Alice stopped Karlyle again.

‘……I asked because if you’re very unwell, I was going to call Mr. Milan.’

You don’t have to force yourself to eat. At the words that followed, Karlyle momentarily couldn’t find anything to say and lowered his gaze.

He felt strange. Someone worrying about him had been happening so often lately that he thought he had adapted a little… but he hadn’t. At Alice’s words, Karlyle’s fingers twitched. How should he respond to make her happy?

‘I’m fine now. I’m sorry for making you worry.’

His sentence was cautious. Karlyle hesitated for a few seconds between saying he had caused trouble and saying he had caused worry. He couldn’t be sure if Alice had been worried about him.

Alice, who had been moving her knife mechanically, stopped at his words. Alice, who had been staring at her food with an expressionless face, replied after a long silence.

‘You don’t have to say you’re sorry.’

This time, it was very difficult to respond. Karlyle looked at Alice with bewildered eyes. He lowered his gaze to cut the remaining omelet again, but after hesitating, he put down his utensils.

After that, a quiet conversation continued. It had been a very long time since he had sat and talked with Alice like this, not just at breakfast.

Alice said that he no longer had to think about the engagement. Then she added that it would be good for him to rest from work for a while, as Jonathan and Kyle had suggested.

Feeling useless, Karlyle cautiously expressed that he didn’t want to. Alice, seeing that, replied that he could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

Even after finishing such conversations and fully expressing the topics that had clear purposes, Alice did not leave Karlyle’s side. Quietly sipping tea, Karlyle spent a peaceful morning with Alice.

Finally, only when her secretary entered the dining room looking for her did Alice leave. With a wish for a good day.

For Karlyle, who had lived a life solely dedicated to others, specifically his family, rest was a very unfamiliar word. Of course, it wasn’t that he never rested. He took appropriate breaks before bedtime when necessary.

Not only that, he had also gone on vacations. These were usually intertwined with business trips, family events, or social gatherings, but he did rest. However, this was the first time he had been released without any obligations. It felt so distant that he even felt lost.

But at the same time… he also felt a little comfortable.

Throughout the sudden period of rest, Karlyle thought about Ash. Perhaps it was natural, as Ash was someone he had thought of countless times even when he was sick and in pain.

Moreover, Ash had told Karlyle that he loved him. The moment he heard it, it had been too sad to truly sink in, but as soon as he found peace, it dominated Karlyle’s soul.

Ash looked directly at him and told him he loved him three times. Whether he was awake or not, he kept hearing those words. All sorts of impulses tempted Karlyle. Whispers that he no longer needed to worry since he had heard the confession egged Karlyle on.

But something kept bothering him. Like stepping on tiny stones, a few things he couldn’t forget made Karlyle uncomfortable. The problem was that he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was making Karlyle feel that way.

A week after the day he met Ash, Karlyle finally made a decision. For now, he wanted to meet Ash again. The weekend was approaching. Ash, who had said they would meet again, hadn’t contacted him since.

It was natural. The only way Ash could contact him was through Kyle, and Karlyle had made it clear to Kyle that he no longer needed to worry too much about his affairs. It was right for Karlyle to contact him first.