Define The Relationship Novel - Chapter 58

There was no turning back. Karlyle created the worst situation for himself and gave up. He was an idiot who didn’t know how to build relationships, and he didn’t have the resilience to overcome pain and hurt like others. Instead of listening to Ash and seeking immediate happiness, he chose to push him away because he couldn’t bear the future pain.

He didn’t know why Ash had come to find him now, or what he was thinking…

Ash would be fine. There would be many people to love him.

Karlyle turned his body, giving Ash no chance to hold him back. He quickened his steps to prevent his wrist from being caught and bit his lips. Ignoring the stinging pain rising within him, Karlyle left the spot.

As party time approached, cars lined up at the main entrance. Guests began to arrive one by one. There were about forty people. The party, which invited only those involved, began in an elegant atmosphere, led by his mother, Alice.

For those who had finished dinner, poker tables and chess tables were set up upstairs for gambling. Various alcoholic beverages, including cigars, were also prepared.

Karlyle, having checked everything, drew a business-like smile on his face and greeted the Stewart family. Meeting Joel Stewart’s gaze as he entered, Karlyle extended his hand.

A fragrant, sweet scent wafted. It was the scent of an Omega alluring an Alpha. His scent would probably feel similar to Joel.

However, the moment he inhaled the scent, Karlyle felt an unbearable pain. His future unfolded before him. His future of carefully caressing Joel, coupling with him to satisfy him, bearing children to continue the line, and faithfully belonging to the family.

Something that supported his reason and thoughts churned chaotically in his mind. Panic set in. The sickening pressure and inflammation he felt every time he embraced an Omega gouged at his brain like a blade.

He couldn’t bring himself to embrace Joel. He couldn’t bring himself to couple with someone he didn’t love. He couldn’t do it.

Karlyle maintained his smile and barely managed to guide them to the banquet hall. He couldn’t make a ridiculous spectacle of himself in front of guests. If he could just buy some time, it would be fine.

Suppressing the urge to vomit that rose to his throat, Karlyle casually excused himself, saying he would be gone for a moment. He didn’t even notice Alice and Jonathan’s gazes on his back.

His face turned deathly pale. His entire body grew cold as if his blood had stopped circulating. Karlyle covered his mouth with his hand and strode down the hallway. His body trembled, and then cold sweat broke out.

His stomach ached as if being squeezed. It was a pain of a different dimension than broken bones or stab wounds, a pain that gouged at his insides, and Karlyle finally stopped walking.

With trembling hands, he fumbled and pressed hard below his ribs. Swallowing a scream that almost escaped, Karlyle bent at the waist. Dizziness surged. His legs gave out.

Just for a moment, if he could rest…

Karlyle reached out to the side to find something to support himself. His hand flailed in the air. His swaying body soon collapsed.

At the same time, someone called Karlyle from behind. Something firm supported him from behind. As several voices were heard, Karlyle felt his vision spin. His eyes closed.

His vision flickered as if a light bulb that had gone out suddenly came on. Broken memories flooded back all at once. He barely opened his heavy eyelids. A stinging sensation rose from within, but it wasn’t unbearable.

To grasp the situation for a moment, Karlyle shifted his gaze. He slowly exhaled and turned his head. He was in a room. It was the reception room. When he shifted his body, he realized he was lying on a sofa.

“Karlyle.”

A gentle voice called his name. A shadow fell over his body. Even in his daze, Karlyle immediately recognized who it was. It was Ash. It was difficult to grasp the situation at once. He felt an unbearable pain. Unbelievably, he seemed to have fainted.

As taciturn as he was, Karlyle had a considerable talent for endurance. He was embarrassed that he had lost consciousness not from a serious illness, but from failing to manage stress properly.

However, his self-reproach didn’t last long. The fact that Ash was in this room disconcerted him. He remembered someone supporting him. Was it Ash? If so, he had to thank him. Even though he had tried to push him away and keep his distance.

The sound of shoes was heard. Long legs appeared, then Ash reached out and pulled a chair closer. With calm movements, Ash sat on the chair. Karlyle blinked.

His vision became a little clearer. Admitting that it was an awkward situation to leave immediately, a faint desire arose. He wanted to take in more of Ash’s face, which he hadn’t thought to examine due to the confusion. Before sending him away.

“Are you awake?”

Ash asked quietly. A subdued expression was visible. His unsmiling eyes looked somehow sad. Come to think of it, Ash was wearing a suit.

This was the first time he had seen him in such attire. The black suit was elegant, as if made for Ash, and Ash in it was very handsome. However, his hair was a little disheveled.

The subtly emanating pheromones calmed his churning stomach. Regardless of how complicated his mind was, his body gradually began to calm down. His body, which had longed for Ash for a long time, welcomed the other person regardless of him being an Alpha.

As his senses slowly returned, Karlyle heard whispers outside the door. He heard his mother’s voice and Luther’s voice.

How much time had passed? His mind gradually returned to reality. How was the banquet going, what had happened with the Stewart family, who had seen him collapse…?

Then his stomach hurt again. Karlyle faintly frowned and squinted his eyes. Ash quickly noticed it.

“Does it hurt?”

It was a bewildered and helpless voice. His heart sank. His heart pounded before reason could control it. His nape tingled.

“…I’m fine.”

Karlyle replied in a subdued voice. At his first returned answer, Ash let out a small breath. The gaze on his cheek was so gentle that Karlyle closed his mouth.

As soon as his guard unintentionally dropped for a moment, everything that made up Karlyle craved Ash. Clenching his weakening heart, Karlyle forcibly brought himself back to reality.

“Could you tell me how long I was unconscious?”

“About thirty minutes.”

Ash said, not taking his eyes off Karlyle’s face. Karlyle saw his fingers, resting on his knee, twitch. Before Karlyle could speak again, Ash spoke first.

“Does this happen often?”

Karlyle was silent. He had no obligation to answer Ash. However, being harsh to Ash caused him immense pain, and that pain immediately led to physical pain. His stomach tightened again, so Karlyle answered briefly.

“No. I apologize for the trouble.”

Ash was still gentle. He always was. It was always Karlyle who was lacking, and he was still gentle despite the harsh words Karlyle had just uttered. A sense of futility and self-reproach washed over him. He was tired. He didn’t want to think about anything.

“Don’t… get sick when I’m not around.”

However, with Ash’s next words, it became impossible not to think. His mind was momentarily blank. The saying that people in love act foolishly came to mind again. Ash, who had said he had something to say, and Ash, who had opened his mouth as if to confess to him.

“I just hope you don’t get sick. My heart truly aches.”

Ash’s hand, which had been resting on his knee, reached out to him. The hand, which stopped in front of his face as if to caress his cheek, twitched. Ash pleaded with Karlyle, his eyes looking as if he was about to cry.

“May I touch you?”

At the voice asking for permission, Karlyle felt something well up inside him. He felt like crying. It was a voice that was almost desperate. His eyes hurt.

“Just once, let me touch you.”

Why was he doing this?

Why, now…? His throat tightened. He choked. It was Karlyle who wanted to be touched. He longed for Ash’s hand to touch his waist. The hand that touched his cheek, his face, the arms that tightly embraced his upper body, the soft lips…

Ash’s hand approached Karlyle’s unanswering face. Just before it touched, Karlyle recoiled. He felt it would be easier to just go crazy. Pushing away the terrible temptation, Karlyle shook his head. He would surely collapse the moment Ash touched him.

“…To me…”

Ash smiled painfully and withdrew his hand. Suppressing the urge to kiss the neatly rounded nails and long fingers, Karlyle asked.

“Why are you doing this?”

He asked, barely managing to compose his expression. Instead of reaching Karlyle, Ash quietly placed his hand on the sofa where Karlyle lay and looked at him silently.

“Will you listen?”

His voice was very deep. Yes, he admitted it. Perhaps Ash…

“That, I…”

Perhaps…

“It’s because I love Karlyle.”

He sharply inhaled. His expression crumbled. Like someone pricked by something sharp, Karlyle distorted his eyes and bit his lips. It wasn’t a misunderstanding. Unbelievably, Ash was saying he loved him.

As soon as he understood that, all sorts of emotions surged. The first thing that overwhelmed Karlyle was joy. The word ‘love,’ which for some was just a greeting, was a rare and precious word to Karlyle.

But soon, sadness rose. The situation made him sad. Karlyle had expressed his intention to proceed with the engagement. He didn’t have the audacity to cause trouble for his family and break off the engagement just for his love. That wasn’t all. A faint resentment welled up. Why now?

A month ago, if he had been foolishly swelling with the sweet dream of love, unaware of anything, Karlyle would have smiled at Ash’s confession. He would have been unable to hide his overwhelming, bursting joy, and would have smiled just like he did then.

But now Karlyle knew the pain of loss. His thoughts hadn’t changed. His love had too many variables. Ash was a popular person and truly too good for him. Breakups always came at unexpected moments. The weight of the pain that hadn’t even arrived yet already felt immeasurable.

He needed certainty. If Ash loved him as much as he loved Ash. He knew. He had just heard the confession. And Ash’s actions truly seemed… that way.

Even to Karlyle’s eyes, who knew little about love, it seemed so. Of course, he couldn’t know for sure. From the beginning, Karlyle had made countless misunderstandings even from Ash’s small gestures of kindness. So he might have misjudged.

But putting everything aside, even if Ash was telling the truth, Karlyle didn’t feel that Ash loved him as much as he loved Ash.

Ash’s actions toward him bothered him. He wondered why he hadn’t answered his calls. Why he had said they were nothing, and why he was suddenly doing this a month later—questions overflowed.

“If you just need someone to enjoy yourself with…”