Define The Relationship Novel - Chapter 56

“I always did my best even when I was with Nick.”

As if the suffering he had endured had left no trace, he spoke of a rather painful past without any emotion rising within him. There was no usual longing or joy that came with reminiscing. Nick smiled, revealing a hint of his canine teeth.

“Still, you always seemed to have a sense of ease somewhere in your heart… but now that’s gone.”

Ash quietly smiled. He blinked slowly, mulling over Nick’s words.

“Do I look that way?”

“Well, I’m in a profession where I meet a lot of people. Let’s say it’s about eighty percent accurate.”

“Typical of a lawyer with a high win rate.”

Exchanging ordinary conversation, they walked up the stairs.

“That’s good.”

Nick, who had been silent for a moment, suddenly spoke.

“Shouldn’t I give you a hint, Nick?”

“That you don’t have any ease.”

Nick, who had been staring ahead with a slight frown, met Ash’s eyes. Their steps stopped.

“Thinking about it, I never had any ease when dealing with Kyle. I mean, rather than being impatient… I was always genuinely worried and attentive to him, without any room for relaxation. When Kyle is involved, everything else around him gets pushed aside.”

That’s why he always broke up quickly with other partners. Nick said, smiling slowly, his face looking very happy.

“So… that’s why I said it was good.”

Nick shrugged and started walking again. Ash, his eyes gently curved, opened his mouth, looking at Nick’s back as he went up the stairs first.

“Nick.”

Nick looked back at him with a puzzled expression.

“Congratulations on your pregnancy. I haven’t had a chance to say that.”

Ash congratulated Nick in a comfortable voice. He was sincere. Nick blinked. Seeing his slightly flustered face, Ash continued.

“A very beautiful child will be born, resembling both Nick and Kyle.”

Nick’s green eyes quietly looked at Ash, then slowly curved into a smile. Ash smiled back, looking at those eyes he once thought he had fallen in love with at first sight.

Nick didn’t bother to reply. Ash didn’t say anything more either. With a peaceful silence, they walked towards the banquet hall.

The party hadn’t started yet, but there were many people inside. Dozens of waiters, bartenders, and chefs, including the party planner, were bustling about. The lavishly decorated interior, with its high ceilings and old chandeliers, glowed with an orange hue.

Even though it was early evening, the banquet hall was beautifully lit to match the darkening sky. Rectangular glass tables set for dinner were being arranged with elaborate appetizers, and by the windows were tables of appropriate size and elegantly carved wooden chairs.

Leaving Nick behind, who said he would call Kyle, Ash slowly walked further inside. He observed the faces of the people passing by, mentally refining what he would say when he saw Karlyle.

First, he wanted to ask how he was doing. Ever since he heard Karlyle had cried, that face kept coming to mind, and he was worried. He also wanted to ask if he had eaten properly, and if he had been very upset. And then, he wanted to say something about properly defining their relationship, which had been twisted from the start…

…Karlyle?

Amidst the chaotic surge of thoughts, Ash spotted a familiar face. A sharp profile caught his eye immediately. His shoes stopped in place. His eyes widened. His heart, which had stopped for a fleeting moment, then began to pound at a terrifying speed.

It was definitely Karlyle.

His blood rushed through his entire body, accompanied by a heart that began to beat painfully fast. His shoes scraped the floor. The moment he took a step to move, Karlyle turned his head.

Calm gray eyes stared directly at Ash. Their gazes intertwined. Even from a considerable distance, Karlyle’s face was clearly visible. Something that had been tightly suppressed burst forth, churning his insides. A mix of sorrowful longing and uncontrollable joy intertwined.

“Car…”

His lips parted. The name, which had been wandering without a master, finally met its intended recipient. A smile touched his lips, though he wasn’t aware of smiling. But Ash couldn’t finish calling Karlyle’s name.

Because their intertwined gazes had broken.

Karlyle, who had been looking at Ash with indifferent, cold eyes, simply turned his head away. As if he hadn’t seen anything. As if he were looking into thin air, there was no change in his expression.

Karlyle, having turned his head, then turned his body. He continued talking to the woman he had been conversing with and began walking out of the party hall. She seemed to be the party planner.

Ash blinked, momentarily unable to comprehend the situation unfolding before his eyes.

Ah…

His mind went blank. He hadn’t anticipated this reaction. It hurt even more than when he had found Karlyle’s empty mansion, as if his insides were burning black.

With the same smiling face, Ash raised his hand. The hand that had been touching his lips slid down to his neck.

“Ash?”

Nick, who had finished his call, called him from behind. But Ash couldn’t quite hear him. Ash, who had barely managed to think of something to say, spoke to Nick without turning around.

“Nick, if you’ll excuse me.”

Before hearing a reply, Ash began to walk. His slowly moving legs gradually picked up speed. His thighs tensed. Clenching and unclenching his fists, his long strides widened.

Crossing the banquet hall in one go, Ash walked almost in the direction Karlyle had disappeared. With hasty and anxious movements, he chased after the man. Otherwise, he felt he would lose him.

Karlyle hadn’t gone far. The woman next to him turned back and passed by Ash. Her fleeting glance at his face also went unnoticed by Ash. He only saw Karlyle.

His entire body, his subconscious, longed for Karlyle.

Seeing Karlyle’s back again, that fact clearly hit him. Karlyle’s image had been etched into his heart without him even realizing it. He missed Karlyle’s neat back as he walked, texting. He missed the past when he could casually approach and hug his waist. He hadn’t known what a great privilege it was to be able to touch the man like that.

Now, if only he could do that.

Feeling as if he might cry, Ash stopped. And he opened his mouth.

“Karlyle.”

Ash’s voice echoed in the long, empty corridor. Without looking back, the man who had been walking quietly stopped.

The regular rhythm of his footsteps also ceased. A few seconds, like an eternity, passed. In the suffocating silence, Karlyle slowly turned his body.

The same expressionless face as before was visible.

“Karlyle.”

He called his name again. His throat felt constricted. It was as if something dry and rough had been crammed into his throat, making it ache and constricting his breathing. Words he had thought nothing of evaporated into thin air.

Saying even one word was unexpectedly difficult. It was a sight completely unbefitting of the usual Ash Jones. It was hard to see him as the man who was always skilled and at ease.

“It’s been a long time.”

Karlyle’s eyes, indifferent, stared at him as the words slowly escaped Ash’s lips. Just three steps. Even at that short distance, Karlyle seemed incredibly far away.

Another oppressive silence followed. Not even a breath could be heard. Karlyle’s inorganic gray eyes, whose thoughts were unreadable, stared directly at Ash. After a long silence, Karlyle finally opened his mouth.

“It has been a long time, Mr. Jones.”

His voice was stiff and cold. The formal words and the clearly distant honorific stung his ears. Ash smiled.

He remembered Karlyle’s voice, awkward yet ultimately correcting his address when Ash asked him to call him by his name. It had taken almost two months for him to finally call him by his name.

It hurt.

“How have you been?”

Ash asked in a gentle voice. He took a step towards the unmoving Karlyle. Karlyle’s gaze stopped at his shoes, then returned to its original position.

“What is your business here?”

Karlyle didn’t answer his question about how he was doing. His expression remained the same. It was like hitting a wall. Ash paused, choosing his words for a moment, at the formal tone. His heart was tearing.

There was no way to know what Karlyle’s true self was like. But if this was how Karlyle treated others, then Ash had clearly been receiving special treatment until now. He hadn’t known how precious that was.

“I came because there’s something I want to say.”

Ash spoke calmly. With a sadly smiling face, he quietly took another step towards Karlyle. Now, only one step remained between them. Karlyle lowered his gaze again. Karlyle, who had been observing the almost-touching distance, dismissed Ash in a dry voice.

“I apologize, but…”

The words continued.

“I don’t think I have time to listen.”

With a voice that clearly indicated he had no intention of listening, Karlyle stepped back. One step, and then another. The sound of his hard heels echoed. Karlyle, who had retreated the two steps Ash had taken, made a statement to end the conversation.

“Then, please take care on your way.”

Without asking anything further, Karlyle turned his body. Seeing his cruelly turning back, Ash instinctively reached out. His hand stretched out urgently, just like when he mistook someone else’s back for Karlyle’s and ran after them.

His fingers touched Karlyle’s quietly trembling wrist. He held his wrist weakly, yet desperately. The cool warmth that touched him spread throughout his body. He even felt the faint easing of the thirst that had been parching him.

“It’ll only take a few seconds.”

He saw Karlyle’s eyes, which had paused and stopped. With his face still expressionless, Ash immediately continued.

“That day, what were you trying to say?”

Without giving him time to answer, Ash spoke again.

“I’ve kept thinking about it. You said you had something you wanted to tell me. Something you wanted to say so much that you even came to pick me up.”

He looked him straight in the eye. Overlapping the hidden smile beneath Karlyle’s expressionless face, Ash spoke in a calm yet confident voice.

“I don’t think those words were meant to end our meeting. Rather, I think it was the opposite.”

Ash smiled, his eyes pained. He whispered apologetically, filled with regret, guilt, and affection.

“Did I make a mistake that day?”

Did something I say hurt you? If so, how much did I wound you?

“So…”

“Mr. Jones.”

Karlyle, who had seemed to be ignoring him, slowly opened his mouth. His voice was still the same. With a chilling voice, his hand touched the back of Ash’s hand.

The hand that had slowly reached out, one by one, detached Ash’s fingers. The fingers that had been holding his wrist slowly pulled away. After even the last index finger, which had remained touching, was detached, Karlyle lowered his hand. Ash’s hand, which had been holding his wrist, dropped into the air.

“You’re wasting my time.”

It was a resolute voice, as if he was no longer worth listening to. These words hurt even more. It was hard to keep a smiling face.

Karlyle’s true feelings were invisible. Then, he felt a sense of vastness. It felt like there was no answer, as if he was blocked by walls on all sides. Had it ever been this difficult? Had it ever been this hard to discern someone’s feelings?

But Ash soon recalled the painting in Kyle’s hand. He remembered the dazzling deep blue and purple, and the smiling figure hidden in the shadows. He also remembered that Karlyle was the one who had obtained that painting.

He didn’t believe that someone who had put such effort into finding his mother’s keepsake would forget him so easily.

There might be such people. Sometimes, a love burns like fire, consuming the soul, and quickly turns to ash and is depleted. Ash himself had experienced that.

But the man before him, who had put so much effort and time into finding a painting for someone he wasn’t even dating, had opened his heart very slowly to be considered that way. It took two months to see him smile. It took a long time for him to be called by his name. So he wanted to believe.

That the man still cherished Ash Jones.

With sunken eyes, Ash shook his head. He wiped away his smile.

“I’m sorry for interrupting.”

Whatever mistakes one of them had made towards the other, or however much Ash had tried to be considerate of him, it no longer mattered.

“But I can’t help it.”

What mattered was the one emotion he had become certain of.

“Because people in love often act foolishly.”

Because Ash Jones loved Karlyle.

“Don’t you remember? We have one meeting left.”

Ash was ready to accept any pain Karlyle might inflict, gladly.

“A contract is a contract. I don’t think Karlyle is someone who isn’t firm about such things, do you?”

Love is an act of clashing. Two distinctly different people meet and wound each other to stand by each other’s side. If Karlyle had hundreds of thorns, he would gladly be pricked hundreds of times to stand by his side.

“Let’s meet one more time.”

A different, more affectionate voice than before filled the corridor.