Define The Relationship Novel - Chapter 37

I don’t know how they feel about me, but this is the first time I’ve ever been so happy in my life…

“That’s right.”

I want to cherish this feeling a little longer.

“Now, let’s talk about you, Kyle.”

But Karlyle quietly closed his mouth. The earnest feelings swirling inside him could not, of course, be expressed. If his grandfather knew, he would be furious.

Moreover, the person Karlyle desired was an Alpha, not an Omega. His grandfather would never understand that.

Furthermore, this was just Karlyle’s unilateral feeling. His relationship with Ash had begun at Karlyle’s request, and Ash had called their relationship a “sex partner.” It was not like him to make a mistake in his words because he was bothered by someone he wasn’t even officially dating.

Thinking that, his heart ached. He felt momentarily numb as his mood sank. He recalled his childhood, plagued by the thought that his existence was useless to his family. The sadness he had felt back then now overwhelmed him.

He knew all along that he would marry like this, that he was raised this way, and that he had no special relationship with Ash, but his foolish heart seemed unable to accept it properly.

It was embarrassing. Karlyle quietly kept his gaze on the teacup while his grandfather and Kyle conversed. He carefully examined his face reflected on the red, transparent liquid. He saw the cold-faced man he always encountered when looking in a mirror.

Despite often being told he had an impeccable appearance, Karlyle didn’t quite understand the value of his own face. Everyone around him was beautiful, so perhaps it was natural. Instead, he was only told that his lack of expression made him unapproachable. It would be fortunate if there were still partners who desired him despite such an appearance.

As he reproached his own shortcomings and tried to compose himself, his grandfather issued a dismissal. Arthur was always a man with a tighter schedule, and despite his advanced age, he was still vigorous. Today’s meeting with them would likely be just one item on Arthur’s agenda.

Maintaining silence, Karlyle escorted Kyle out of Arthur’s study. From the grand central staircase of the mansion, sounds of busy servants and guests could be heard. The Marquis’s residence was always full of visitors. Tonight, as always, there would probably be a dinner that resembled a banquet.

And Karlyle was certain that the “candidates” Arthur had mentioned would be present at that event. Arthur was a thorough man. Karlyle had observed him for a long time, so he could now grasp what Arthur was planning.

“Karlyle.”

He felt incredibly tired despite doing nothing. However, Karlyle had things to do. Just as he was about to go up to the fourth-floor corridor, where their assigned rooms were, Kyle stopped and called Karlyle. Karlyle, who was ascending the stairs, turned around.

“Can we talk for a bit?”

He was tired, but if Kyle wanted to, it seemed best to do so.

“Yes, let’s.”

He replied quietly. Kyle lowered his long, thin eyelashes. His face was troubled, so Karlyle descended the stairs and stood before Kyle.

“Why the long face?”

“Karlyle, I…”

Kyle’s lips parted as if he was organizing his thoughts, then he continued.

“I think you don’t have to marry someone you don’t want to.”

Karlyle blinked at the unexpected words.

“Kyle.”

“I’ve never seen you smile because of someone else before.”

Kyle said. His blue eyes, similar to Arthur’s but much warmer and brighter, gazed kindly at Karlyle.

“Me?”

“Yes, in the car earlier.”

You smiled a little. Kyle said so. Karlyle raised a hand and rubbed his brow. It couldn’t be.

“If you don’t particularly have someone precious to you, and you want to get married this way, I wouldn’t stop you… but it’s not like that now, is it?”

His voice, tinged with sadness, continued softly. He felt embarrassed for showing such a relaxed demeanor even in front of his younger brother, but at the same time, Kyle’s words made his heart waver slightly. However, Karlyle composed himself again.

“This is my duty, and it has been planned for a long time. I appreciate your concern, but Grandfather wouldn’t allow it…”

“Isn’t maintaining the bloodline the most important thing anyway? Then there’s me and Nick.”

The moment Kyle spoke Nick’s name, a bright smile shyly bloomed on his face. Could he be that happy? The old Karlyle would have just vaguely thought that.

He knew that Kyle had loved Nicholas since childhood, for over ten years. So, of course, he wished for Kyle to get what he wanted, but underlying that was no understanding of the feeling of liking someone.

But… now he seemed to understand a little. What kind of emotion made one’s face brighten just by speaking a name.

“It’s true that Nick unexpectedly became an Omega, but thanks to that, Nick and I can continue the lineage, so it’s fine. You’ve sacrificed because I haven’t been able to properly fulfill my role.”

Kyle’s blue eyes welled up slightly. Kyle was very soft-hearted towards those he loved; he felt no emotional connection to others but was very affectionate towards his own people.

It was natural, then, that Karlyle always wanted to protect such a child. With a flustered heart, Karlyle reached out and gently touched Kyle’s eyes. Kyle quietly accepted his touch.

“So… I’ll try to persuade Grandfather.”

Kyle finished speaking quietly. Karlyle couldn’t readily answer his words. It was a difficult task, and at the same time, he couldn’t shake the feeling of burdening his younger brother with something so significant. There was also the heaviness in his heart at the thought of abandoning what he had considered his mission his entire life. Yet, amidst this deep concern, something soft and hopeful welled up.

What if his assumptions weren’t assumptions? What if Ash liked Karlyle just a little, and was willing to continue their relationship? What if there was a possibility for them to develop?

Then perhaps he could reconsider Kyle’s words.

“I understand for now.”

Karlyle ultimately couldn’t say no. At his affirmative reply, Kyle’s eyes curved into a smile. It was a truly beautiful smile, no matter when he saw it.

“Yes, Karlyle.”

“It would be good for you to go up and rest a bit now, Kyle.”

“Alright. See you at dinner.”

After watching Kyle nod and go up to his room, Karlyle turned his head to look at the wide window across the stairs. He saw the green garden bathed in bright yellow sunlight.

The sight reminded him of Hampstead Heath. Seeing the beautiful scene of lush trees and grasses forming their own shapes and blooming brightly, created in the traditional English style, brought Ash to mind. He thought Ash would like it.

Recalling his name, an unbearable longing welled up. Karlyle quietly turned and descended the stairs. He passed both familiar and unfamiliar faces greeting him as he walked into the garden. A lukewarm breeze blew over the tranquil grassy area, where the sounds of summer insects and birds could be heard.

Taking out his phone, Karlyle quietly read through his messages with Ash, then moved his fingers. He wanted to say he missed him. He truly, truly missed Ash so much. Though it hadn’t been that long, Ash’s face was vividly etched in his mind, as if he hadn’t seen him in a year.

Knowing he would regret it, knowing it was embarrassing and very childish, Karlyle couldn’t overcome the impulse and typed out a message.

[I hope to see you soon.]

Karlyle hesitated for a long time, unable to send it, then, just like in the car, he finally pressed the button. His neck flushed hot. He subtly covered his phone with his palm as if to conceal it. Ash wouldn’t have left work yet, so the reply would be slow.

But no sooner had he thought that than his phone vibrated. The vibration, which he thought would stop after one buzz, began to ring continuously. Karlyle blinked, then quickly checked the screen. A call was coming in. The caller was Ash Jones.

In a situation so unbelievable it felt like a dream, Karlyle answered the phone, flustered. He worried his voice wouldn’t come out properly.

“Karlyle?”

“…Ash? Weren’t you busy?”

“You called me Ash, Karlyle.”

A low, soft voice chuckled quietly. At the sweet words, Karlyle bit his lip, then released it. His eyebrows curved upwards in confusion.

“…You asked me to… call you that.”

“That’s why I like it.”

Ash kept laughing, as if finding something very amusing. Karlyle walked under a tree, clutching his phone tightly.

“Have you had dinner?”

“Not yet. I still have a little while before I leave work. Thank you for answering my sudden call, Karlyle.”

“No, I apologize for texting you so suddenly.”

“No, I was waiting.”

He felt as if his body was floating. Why was Ash saying such things?

He kept, kept…

“Your message bothered me, Karlyle.”

…making him misunderstand.

“…Did I make a mistake?”

“Do you miss me, Karlyle?”

He missed him. He missed him so much that he could run to him right away if he called.

“………I’m sorry.”

So Karlyle, instead of denying Ash’s words, apologized. He was embarrassed to show his inadequacy, yet it was true that he missed him.

Ash quietly laughed at the act of returning an apology instead of an honest “yes.” As if he understood what Karlyle was trying to say.

“Don’t apologize, just tell me.”

Yet Ash ultimately made Karlyle say the words. As if he was determined to make Karlyle utter the words and confirm the fact himself. And Karlyle, in front of Ash, always became an excessively easy person. He couldn’t say no to Ash’s words. He didn’t know how to.

“………I miss you.”

He couldn’t possibly know how to refuse the words of someone he loved. Everything was new to him. Despite learning so much since childhood, his relationship with Ash was filled with only things Karlyle didn’t know.

“Then, come see me.”

Then Ash said something unbelievable again. Karlyle’s eyes widened. His hand gripping the phone tightened. Blood rushed through his veins as if they would burst.

“Shall we see each other sooner, you and I?”

Ash whispered a sweet, irresistible offer.

It didn’t feel real. He felt as if he was about to lose the reins he held to maintain his composure and avoid foolish misunderstandings.

Ash kept pulling the string that held Karlyle’s desires captive. Even with a light, effortless tug, Karlyle was so easily drawn out.

“…Are you talking about this evening?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

Through Ash’s voice, he could hear other people’s voices. Many people were calling Ash. Ash, amidst the boisterous and lively atmosphere, seemed like someone from a completely different world. He felt even further away than the actual two-hour journey.

A strange impatience crept in. Karlyle’s scheduled itinerary flashed through his mind. In a short while, he had to attend a formal dinner and meet and greet the candidates who might become his fiancée.

“May I… do that?”

But he didn’t want to. He truly didn’t want to be there. He wanted to go to Ash, who was asking to see him.

“If you come see me today.”

Ash let out a soft, muffled laugh.

“As a reward, I’ll feed you something Karlyle likes.”

Karlyle lowered his eyes and lightly bit his lip. Logically, he should have said no. He had a pre-arranged schedule, and he was even in Bath, two hours and twenty minutes away from London.

Spending just one hour here and then returning was inefficient. It was a foolish thing to do.

“If it’s something I like…”

However, instead of saying no, Karlyle kept talking. Anticipation began to swell greatly within him. He pictured himself meeting Ash in a few hours.

“What do you think it is?”

Ash was talking about food, but at the question of what he thought he liked, Karlyle thought of Ash himself. His earlobes grew hot.

“………I’m not sure.”

“You don’t know, even though it’s something you like? I guess I’ll have to give you a hint.”

At the cute words about giving a hint, Karlyle’s eyes curved faintly. It was the very slight smile Kyle had seen in the car.

“Please tell me.”

“First, it’s long.”

Karlyle quietly thought of long foods. The only thing that came to mind was a dessert like an éclair, but he didn’t remember ever telling Ash about it.

“That’s not conclusive enough.”

“I thought so.”

Ash burst into laughter, as if he had expected it. His slightly broken voice was deep and low, extremely captivating. Ash had many different kinds of laughs. He had laughed like that when he called Karlyle naive, and the way his eyes, lazily lowered, subtly curved was truly wonderful.

“Then, I guess you’ll just have to come and see for yourself.”

At the sentence that presupposed a meeting, his reason, which was trying to find its place, faltered.

“I’ll tell you the address, so…”

Karlyle forgot to breathe, quietly blinking.

“Come to my place.”

Got it? Ash whispered in a gentle, loving voice.

“See you later, Karlyle.”

With a greeting that sounded like it was meant for a lover, Ash hung up. Karlyle held the phone to his ear for several seconds even after the call ended. The breath he had unconsciously held slowly escaped through his lips. Slowly lowering his hand, Karlyle looked at the call log, which showed a call duration of 10 minutes.

Despite looking at it with a troubled expression, Karlyle’s eyes still held a faint smile, just like before.