Codename Anastasia Novel (End) - Chapter 81

He had a dream. That boy appeared again. With brilliant platinum hair and ruby eyes. Displeased, he checked the boy’s surroundings first. There didn’t seem to be anything particularly dangerous. His small, white hands held nothing. He breathed a quiet sigh of relief. At least it didn’t seem to be a nightmare like last time.

The child was so frail and delicate, it was hard to imagine them as the current Zhenya. Perhaps they truly had nothing to do with Zhenya. Maybe it was just an illusion, stemming from Kwon Taekjoo’s own subconscious.

The two stared at each other, as if wary. Looking back, it was only after this kid appeared that Kwon Taekjoo started feeling an inexplicable pity for Zhenya. He’s not even an ancestor, so why does he keep appearing in other people’s dreams and complicating their hearts? He decided he’d confront him now that we’d met.

‘Hey, kid. Why do you keep loitering?’

Kwon Taekjoo couldn’t tell if he spoke Korean or Russian. He spoke, but it didn’t form distinct sounds.

However, it seemed to have been properly conveyed to the child. Just by looking at him huffing as if provoked. He wasn’t used to dealing with children. He rarely encountered children of that age. He had no idea how to talk to the child without hurting them, or if they would even understand his words.

‘It’s annoying, so stop appearing.’

Kwon Taekjoo demanded brusquely. Was it a mistake? A clear liquid pooled in the child’s eyes, who was biting his lower lip and huffing. His blue pupils swelled up, round and full. Ah, Kwon Taekjoo didn’t mean to make him cry.

The sniffling child turned sharply and began to run. He didn’t know why, but he felt like he had to catch him. It was only right to chase away an uninvited guest, but he felt like he’d done something awful.

“Hey!” He was about to rush after him when a hand suddenly reached out from behind and grabbed his shoulder. Then, his body was smoothly flipped to the opposite side.

“Ung…”

Taekjoo.

His consciousness half-awakened at the sweet call. The weight pressing down on his body, the sensation of hair tickling my cheek, all were familiar. He reached out and ran his hand through the soft hair. That hand pulled him to press against soft lips. Subsequently, a thick mass of flesh thrust deep inside, slowly stirring within his belly. Even that was a sensation Kwon Taekjoo had grown accustomed to.

“Uung, ung…”

Moaning sweetly, Kwon Taekjoo tightly hugged the presence pressing down on him. The body that once felt threatening now felt strong and safe. Nestled within it, it felt as if he had entered a large nest.

Taekjoo.

An inexplicable tenderness rose within him for this man who called out to him so yearningly, who became excited by him, and who tasted climax within him. Even the man whom everyone, and at times even Kwon Taekjoo himself, unhesitatingly called a monster, at that moment, was merely a humble being yearning for love and warmth.

“…Ung, Zhenya.”

He called out his name, as if in pain. At that moment, the strange sensation that had been subtly spreading deep within his belly suddenly vanished. At the same time, his eyelids snapped open.

“……?”

Kwon Taekjoo looked around blankly. It was exactly as it had been when he fell asleep. He wasn’t covered by a blanket, and he was still fully clothed. He thought Zhenya had returned.

He tried to find traces of another presence, but it was futile. The quiet house still held only Kwon Taekjoo. Zhenya hadn’t come and woken him; even that had been an extension of the dream.

He sighed and rubbed his face. But suddenly, a heavy sensation rose from below. Just in case, he checked his crotch. The front of his pants was bulging as if about to burst. It was preposterous. He had the most bizarre dream, and on top of that, he’d gotten himself hard. Has he ever been so sexually frustrated recently? Worrying about sudden death during sex felt like a distant past.

Kwon Taekjoo was about to go shower to relieve himself when his quiet phone rang. It was a call from his mother.

“Oh dear, why are you only coming in now? You shouldn’t drink too much.”

As soon as he opened the door lock and entered, his mother’s nagging began. Kwon Taekjoo wondered why she had come all the way to the front door, and she was wearing a house dress. It seemed like we had a guest. Kwon Taekjoo instinctively looked down at the floor. He saw shoes of a familiar size. Without realizing it, a stupid gasp, “Oh,” escaped his lips.

Kwon Taekjoo strode past his mother and headed inside. Soon, he found Zhenya sitting at the dining table, drinking tea. He leaned back leisurely and smiled.

[Just now?]

A breath escaped me in disbelief. He had worried me so much, and here he was, enjoying tea and refreshments at someone else’s house. Kwon Taekjoo had tried to believe that there was some unavoidable reason for his lack of contact until now, but it seemed Kwon Taekjoo was wrong. All ten of his fingers, which he’d thought might be broken, seemed perfectly fine.

[You, you little…]

[Who were you drinking with last night?]

Just as Kwon Taekjoo was about to blurt out a curse, Zhenya preempted him. His tone was weightless, like a passing remark. His gaze had shifted to the plate in front of him. A slice of melon was neatly speared by his fork. His movements were subdued, yet somehow, an oppressive aura emanated from him. Unless he had planted a listening device on Kwon Taekjoo, the source of the information must have been my mother.

[Do you speak Korean now too?]

[I can understand that much, easily.]

He suddenly smiled at Kwon Taekjoo’s mother. Kwon Taekjoo’s mother, oblivious to his dark intentions, simply beamed back. Seeing his cup empty, she eagerly pointed at the coffee pot, asking, “Would you like more tea, Ambassador?” Indeed, Kwon Taekjoo’s mother’s gestures and movements were now on a universal level.

“Oh dear, why are you just standing there? Go entertain the Ambassador.”

Kwon Taekjoo’s mother pushed my back. Then she went to the counter to boil water for tea and opened the refrigerator to find a suitable dessert.

Reluctantly, Kwon Taekjoo sat opposite Zhenya. Kwon Taekjoo glared at him displeasedly, then picked a slice of apple from his plate. Mother, really. She always said fruit peels were rich in nutrients and told Kwon Taekjoo to eat them whole, but now she had painstakingly carved them into rabbit shapes. Kwon Taekjoo unhesitatingly bit into the head first and crunched on it.

[I had a drink with a junior I haven’t seen in a while. What of it?]

[And you even slept with that junior?]

He narrowed his eyes slightly, subtly pressing for an answer. Kwon Taekjoo knew that face well. He was smiling, but it wasn’t a real smile. For the sake of innocent Yoon Jongwoo’s well-being, Kwon Taekjoo had to explain clearly.

[You crazy bastard. What kind of weird things are you imagining?]

[Weird things? I’m not. Taekjoo, what did you imagine that makes it weird? Are you feeling guilty?]

[No.]

[What? That you drank with your junior all night? Or rather, that you slept with that guy?]

[I said, no.]

[Then where are you coming from now?]

Kwon Taekjoo opened my mouth, then closed it again. He felt caught off guard. He couldn’t answer honestly. He had gone to his empty house, hugged his scent-filled pillow, and even got hard. If he knew, he’d gloat and mock him for days. His pride simply wouldn’t allow that.

[Why do I have to report that to you?]

He shrugged, staring at Kwon Taekjoo.

[If you don’t want to tell me, fine. There are plenty of ways for me to find out anyway.]

At his nonchalant remark, Kwon Taekjoo pictured Yoon Jongwoo being caught by him and suffering all sorts of harsh treatment. Even if a person lives as they please, they shouldn’t cause trouble for others.

[I slept alone.]

[I asked where you were.]

[Wherever I was, I slept alone. Don’t bother innocent people, okay?]

[Whether they’re innocent or not is something I’ll find out in due time.]

[Ah, stop it!]

[Seeing you get so flustered makes me curious, you know? What you’ve been up to while I was gone.]

[…I really think it’d be better for my life if a bastard like you just disappeared.]

Why on earth had Kwon Taekjoo ever worried about this jerk? He didn’t even consider what he’d done, nor did he show any hint of apology. When Kwon Taekjoo glared at him resentfully, he just put on a bewildered expression. He was so brazen that Kwon Taekjoo had no idea where or how to even begin arguing with him.

“What are you two talking about that’s so interesting?”

Just then, Kwon Taekjoo’s mother returned to the table. He wondered what she had been doing for so long, and the tray she set down was heavy. The tea set, passed down through generations of my maternal family, was on it. She always kept it carefully enshrined in the display cabinet, saying it was precious. Come to think of it, the coffee cup Zhenya had emptied earlier was also something my mother cherished immensely.

What on earth was so special about Zhenya?

Kwon Taekjoo looked at my mother as if to object. Kwon Taekjoo’s mother ignored Kwon Taekjoo’s gaze and offered it to Zhenya.

“Ambassador, please try this one too. It’s called Seungseolcha, a green tea made from sprouts that emerge from the snow in early spring.”

She spoke earnestly in a gentle tone. He wouldn’t understand anyway. Zhenya looked at Kwon Taekjoo, seeking translation, due to the unexpectedly long explanation.

[It’s expensive, so drink it all without leaving any.]

Zhenya let out an absurd laugh, “Ha,” at the gruff translation. Then, as my mother handed him the cup, he smiled, his eyes narrowing. The way he meticulously supported the bottom of the cup, acting so demurely, was truly sickening. The already small teacup looked like a toy in his hands.

“This is a good dessert to have with it. I hope it suits your taste.”

She also served bite-sized black rice tteok. It was accompanied by soybean powder and rice syrup. Noticing the unfamiliar sight, he cocked his head slightly.

[…Brownie?]

[No. Tteok.]

Kwon Taekjoo gestured with his chin towards the plate, telling him to try it. He remained motionless, as if looking at some strange creature. Kwon Taekjoo watched him, then quickly picked one from his plate and ate it by himself. It seemed to be from his favorite shop, as it was chewier and firmer than other tteok. The texture itself might be a dislike for a foreigner like him.

Kwon Taekjoo’s mother slapped his back, asking why Kwon Taekjoo was eating his, and with Kwon Taekjoo hands at that. In that moment, he speared a tteok with his fork and put it in his mouth. Kwon Taekjoo’s mother’s attention immediately shifted to him.

“How is it?”

[The texture is just like…]

He slowly chewed the tteok in his mouth, trailing off his words. Then he met Kwon Taekjoo’s mother’s expectant gaze.

[…your son’s ass.]

What, you bastard?

I was about to jump up in a fit of rage when my mother, seeing his satisfied face, clapped her hands.

“Oh my, you seem to like it. That’s a relief. Please eat a lot.”

He, too, wore a triumphant expression at my mother’s delight. Their rapport was insane.

“Here, honey water for you. How much did you drink? Your face looks so haggard after just one day.”

Kwon Taekjoo’s mother clicked her tongue and set down a mug. She thoroughly chided Kwon Taekjoo for my disheveled appearance, Kwon Taekjoo roughly dried, wavy hair, and Kwon Taekjoo wrinkled clothes. Kwon Taekjoo casually dismissed her words and gulped down the honey water. Kwon Taekjoo’s face crumpled at the extreme sweetness. Kwon Taekjoo felt as though drinking a bitter herbal medicine wouldn’t be as torturous.

“Don’t leave any, eat it all. Even what’s settled at the bottom. It’s good for you.”

Under Kwon Taekjoo’s mother’s watchful eye, he swallowed the thick honey water. Even whenKwon Taekjoo tried not to, his face kept scrunching up. Kwon Taekjoo was forcing it down, even holding my breath, when Kwon Taekjoo heard an unexpected click. Kwon Taekjoo looked over, dumbfounded, to see Zhenya happily manipulating his phone. Kwon Taekjoo mumbled, “[Don’t.]” with the cup still at my lips, but he paid no mind. He simply smirked and pressed the shutter more frequently. Then he showed the photos to Kwon Taekjoo’s mother. Kwon Taekjoo’s mother threw her head back and burst into hearty laughter.

“Ahahaha, when he’s like this, he’s just like a child, despite his size! Oh, by the way. I found an old album when I was cleaning the utility room the other day. Would you like to see it?”

She was already almost standing as she asked.

“Ah, why would you… leave it.”

“What’s wrong with it? The Ambassador loves looking at photos.”

Kwon Taekjoo’s mother shook off Kwon Taekjoo’s protests and went into the master bedroom. Zhenya watched her with a curious gaze. Everyone but Kwon Taekjoo seemed to be having a good time.

Under the table, Kwon Taekjoo lightly nudged Zhenya’s leg. He immediately met Kwon Taekjoo gaze. Kwon Taekjoo lowered his voice and pressed him.

[What happened?]

[What?]

[You said you’d be back in a bit, but why did it take two weeks?]

[You’re curious about that too?]

He asked back as if it were something strange. Kwon Taekjoo was speechless. He just wanted to hear why he thought Kwon Taekjoo wouldn’t be curious.

[Because I don’t know what kind of schemes a bastard like you is up to when you disappear. I can’t live peacefully.]

[Ahaha? So that’s why you sent so many calls and messages?]

He added, “I thought you were,” then continued.

[I thought you were surprisingly clingy to your lover. Like you had separation anxiety.]

[Who…!]

Kwon Taekjoo was about to retort when he recalled his actions over the past few days. Kwon Taekjoo had been rummaging through embassies and residences to get news of Zhenya. Kwon Taekjoo even had Yoon Jongwoo do things that were almost like surveillance. All because his return to Korea was delayed more than expected. Was it an obsession?

No. That couldn’t be. Kwon Taekjoo vehemently denied it, defending himself.

[It’s because a bastard like you has so many enemies. I was worried you might have been kidnapped again.]

He chuckled. It was a sneering laugh, but he seemed quite pleased.

[Who do you think is in front of you?]

[That’s why I’m a crazy person. What kind of bastard are you to be in danger? The opposite would be more likely.]

Well, the opposite would be a problem too.

Kwon Taekjoo grumbled displeasedly. Kwon Taekjoo didn’t like the idea of Zhenya being in danger, nor did Kwon Taekjoo like him creating such situations. It felt like hypocrisy for someone like me, but that’s how he felt.

Listening, he chuckled again.

[In this whole wide world, you’re the only one who worries about me, Taekjoo.]

Tell him about it. He’s grinning as if worrying others is a good thing. Kwon Taekjoo didn’t expect it, but there wasn’t a speck of apology to be found. It made him feel rather uneasy, wondering if he occasionally disappeared just for a change of pace. And Kwon Taekjoo was supposed to be in a relationship with a guy like that.

“This is the album. It looks quite old, doesn’t it?”

Soon, Kwon Taekjoo’s mother returned with the album in question. It was frayed in places, looking at least 20 or 30 years old. Even Kwon Taekjoo had never seen it before. Or, to be precise, he hadn’t cared enough to know if he had. Besides his mother, the only family members were gruff men. They barely took photos, let alone organized albums. Thus, documenting the family’s moments became his mother’s domain. The albums in Kwon Taekjoo’s room were all her work.

“It’s a family album, so besides Taekjoo’s photos, there are other people mixed in…”

Zhenya smiled brightly and readily accepted the album. He wasn’t in a business meeting right now, so what was the purpose of that smile? It was an expression Kwon Taekjoo had never seen before. It looked good, but it was utterly artificial. Kwon Taekjoo’s mother, oblivious to his dark intentions, beamed along with him.

Soon, he opened the album cover. Kwon Taekjoo’s parents’ wedding photo appeared. It was a picture over 40 years old. Zhenya thoughtfully gazed at the young, even youthful, couple, then suddenly lifted his head. He then smiled slightly, looking at Kwon Taekjoo.

[Taekjoo, you resemble your father.]

[…Is that so.]

“Everyone around here said he took after his father completely. Don’t you think so too, Ambassador?”

He subtly nodded in response to Kwon Taekjoo’s mother’s question. He still spoke only Russian, and my mother only Korean. Yet, without any gestures, they understood each other. A strange fear crept over him. That unsettling feeling was solely Kwon Taekjoo’s.

He looked at his father’s photo with particular intensity, muttering something incomprehensible to himself.

[With this level of genetics, there’s nothing to worry about.]

[Worry about what?]

[Even if you had a child without my knowledge, they’d still take after you, wouldn’t they?]

Kwon Taekjoo’s face instinctively crumpled. Kwon Taekjoo didn’t know what bizarre thing he was talking about. Even he would know we couldn’t have a child together. Did he mean he didn’t care if Kwon Taekjoo had a child with someone else?

[That is, if I had such a talent.]

He smirked and added. His words held multiple meanings. At that single remark, Kwon Taekjoo could envision several lives hanging in the balance. Of course, that would be it. Kwon Taekjoo was dumbfounded, yet subtly relieved. Kwon Taekjoo was surprised by his own reaction.

The next page unfurled the family’s history. From the moment Kwon Taekjoo brother and Kwon Taekjoo were born to the big and small events of the household. Zhenya meticulously examined each photo, as if on a fascinating expedition. And every time he found Kwon Taekjoo in them, he’d let out a soft laugh, like air escaping.

[You look like a black bean.]

[A bean? Nonsense. I was a big baby, you know?]

[Is that a joke? You’re so small, you look like you could fit in one hand.]

[Ha, you egocentric bastard. You’re the one who’s abnormally big!]

It didn’t work at all. He barely listened to Kwon Taekjoo’s protests, simply nodding along to his mother’s incomprehensible explanations. What was so entertaining, both of them seemed to lose track of time.

Then, his gaze fixed on a particular photo. It was a picture from elementary school, on sports day. Ten-year-old Kwon Taekjoo was crying sorrowfully, his face dusty, his knees and elbows scraped. The embarrassing memory resurfaced. Kwon Taekjoo’s mother, oblivious to Kwon Taekjoo’s feelings, chattered excitedly.

“Oh, he’s so cute, isn’t he? Was this when he was ten, or eleven? He didn’t even cry that much when he was a baby. He’d only whimper a bit when he was hungry or his diaper was wet, I guess? Thanks to that, I raised two boys relatively easily. The adults around us worried that he might be slow to mature, but thankfully, he grew up strong and healthy. He loved sports from a young age and his desire to win grew immensely. He probably cried like that that day because he was upset about losing.”

“Ah, Mother. Why are you saying such things…?”

“Wait. He was chosen as a relay representative for the first time and practiced diligently morning and night. But wouldn’t you know it, on the day of the race, he and the runner ahead of him collided and both fell hard? Because of that, the runners behind them caught up… I thought he’d just give up then and there. From afar, I could clearly see his chin was scraped. But he didn’t. He got right back up and started running again, catching up to them one by one. Of course, it was too much to ask for first place. No matter how much I comforted him, saying that sometimes you fall when you run, and it’s okay because he did his best without giving up, and that third place was good enough, he just cried his eyes out as if it was so unfair. He just had to get first place to be satisfied, you know? He was the type who’d either not start at all, or if he started, he had to finish.”

Zhenya suddenly looked at Kwon Taekjoo and grinned. It was a look that clearly recognized him. How could he, who didn’t even know the alphabet, understand the nuances so uncannily?

My mother’s revelations didn’t end there.

“And then, when was it again? Do you have summer homework in Russia too? In Korea, they give kids all sorts of learning tasks so they don’t just play around. Among them, there was a homework assignment to make a hang glider. He made it himself, refusing his brother’s help, but his younger cousin came over the day before school started and played with it and broke it. It was too late to make it again, so I comforted him, saying I’d explain the situation to his teacher. It was no use. He sniffled all night and ended up making it again, believe it or not.”

“Mother. Stop it. It’s embarrassing.”

“Why? It’s fun, isn’t it?”

Kwon Taekjoo’s mother chuckled and asked Zhenya, “Don’t you agree, Ambassador?” This time too, he nodded appropriately. He even gave Kwon Taekjoo’s mother a strange smile. When Kwon Taekjoo asked why, he slowly met Kwon Taekjoo’s gaze.

[Taekjoo, you would have been better off resembling this little woman. She chatters incessantly and smiles so brightly, she’s quite cute, isn’t she?]

[I’m sorry I’m not cute. And you shouldn’t just call adults cute or whatever, you ill-mannered bastard.]

[I don’t quite understand why you get angry so easily, but it’s entertaining.]

Was that supposed to be a consolation? The fact that such words made Kwon Taekjoo insides tickle meant something was definitely broken within him.

He captured images of Kwon Taekjoo’s childhood on his phone. Kwon Taekjoo’s mother watched him with a delighted expression. She even slapped Kwon Taekjoo’s back when he tried to roughly close the album, telling him to stop.

“Ambassador is looking, don’t be rude.”

“No, Mother, ah…”

Kwon Taekjoo was about to burst, feeling completely misunderstood, with his mother taking Zhenya’s side. Kwon Taekjoo’s mother shot him a displeased look and launched into an untimely complaint.

“When he was little, he listened so well and was truly adorable. But now he’s grown so disgustingly big, and he’s only gotten more stubborn… I don’t ask for much. Now, if he would just leave my nest, build his own family, and live happily ever after with his own people, I would have no regrets. But he doesn’t seem to be meeting anyone, and when I tell him to go on a blind date, he just flat-out refuses.”

She clucked her tongue openly. Kwon Taekjoo quietly observed Zhenya’s expression. He cocked his head and looked at Kwon Taekjoo. He seemed to expect a translation, but Kwon Taekjoo simply couldn’t.

These days, Kwon Taekjoo’s mother often brings up marriage. On days Kwon Taekjoo came home, she would, as if waiting, shove someone’s photo in his face and urge him to go on a blind date. If he remained indifferent, she’d prod him, asking if he was seeing anyone, wanting to meet them. It was impossible to answer that he was seeing a man. When Kwon Taekjoo’s mother’s friends envied her for enjoying their grandchildren, Kwon Taekjoo truly had nothing to say.

It wasn’t that Kwon Taekjoo had the romantic notion of living like this with Zhenya forever. If they were to ever break up, he would never get involved with a man again. But for now, he couldn’t imagine the end of it.

Kwon Taekjoo responded with the same excuse he always used whenever the topic of marriage came up.

“Mother, honestly. I’m too busy with work, how can I get married? What woman would like that?”

“Are you going to work yourself to death? It’s not a big deal to live a little more leisurely. Who do you take after, being so devoted to work? You should get married and have a child just like you. You’ll find a newfound leisure you never expected, you’ll mature, and your perspective on the world will change, I tell you.”

“That’s if everything works out well. Mother, you raised us alone your whole life, didn’t you? You practically shouldered the role of head of the household too. How can you tell someone else to do such a difficult thing? You can’t do it if you love them.”

Kwon Taekjoo’s mother glared again.

Indeed, Kwon Taekjoo had never vaguely envisioned married life. Nor had Kwon Taekjoo ever harbored any romance about it. Kwon Taekjoo just thought he would continue to live his life working, just as Kwon Taekjoo was now. In that line of work, family had the potential to act as a hindrance or a weakness. Just as Kwon Taekjoo loved his mother, her worries felt like an unbearable burden. For Kwon Taekjoo, his passion for work and his attachment to loved ones were values that could not be pursued simultaneously. Each seemed to hang on opposite ends of a scale, constantly unsettling his heart. Even now, maintaining balance was a struggle, and he couldn’t rashly add another weight to either side.