Codename Anastasia Novel (End) - Chapter 79

“Those places offer no money or justification. At least when you think you’re being patriotic, there’s less guilt when you have to clean up. If I hurt people just for money, I’d be filled with self-doubt and couldn’t do it.” 

“Then just open a gym and work out like crazy until you die.” 

“That lacks real-world experience.” “Wow, you’re really weird.”

He grimaced, defending his mother.

“That’s why your mother worries, senior. Your mother probably just wants you to settle down, more than a daughter-in-law or grandchildren.” 

“Does getting married automatically make you settle down?” 

“At least you wouldn’t think of working for the thrill of physical exertion. Even if it’s your body, it won’t entirely be yours anymore. Wouldn’t your little rabbit-like family weigh on your mind?”

Hmm, I hadn’t thought that far. Since I hadn’t experienced it, I couldn’t imagine it well. If I had a family, and more people to protect, would I really change then? Would a life solely pursuing safety feel stifling? Just as someone’s husband, a father. Would such a deeply private and domestic sense of duty truly quench the thirst within me?

As I continued to question myself, I suddenly let out a small laugh. It was because Zhenya abruptly came to mind. His existence was so firmly embedded in my brain that it completely blocked any impious thoughts.

Yes, what “rabbit-like family” for someone like me? It was better to resign myself than to pull off some foolish stunt and get devoured by him.

Yoon Jongwoo asked, “Why?” I shook my head as if it were nothing.

“Anyway, how’s your mother? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her. I used to follow you and get fed at your place.” 

“She mentioned you, actually. Said to bring you along if you had time.” 

“Oh, but why didn’t you say anything?” “Ah… my mother has a best friend these days.”

“And?” “She won’t like it if you come. And you won’t find it very pleasant either.” 

“Why would your mother’s best friend dislike me? And what do you mean I won’t find it pleasant….” 

“It’s just… something.”

I vaguely glossed over it. Just in time, the Cold Noodle Soup and meat arrived. I quickly handed the Cold Noodle Soup to Yoon Jongwoo, diverting his attention. I also put meat on the grill, busily cooking and cutting it. Yoon Jongwoo, engrossed in eating, didn’t press the issue further.

When the meat was all cooked, I put down the busy tongs. Yoon Jongwoo, who had already finished his Cold Noodle Soup, subtly refilled my glass.

“Um, can I ask you something?” 

“What is it?” “I’ve been curious for a while. What’s your relationship with that Russian guy?”

My hand paused at the unexpected question. But soon, as if nothing happened, I tilted my glass. I downed the soju in one gulp and set the empty glass down.

“What relationship? We just got entangled by bad luck and almost killed each other, then somehow helped each other out a bit… And since that bastard came as the ambassador to Korea, I see him sometimes. That kind of relationship.” 

“Wow, it’s really scary how strong grudges can be. How can you be friends with a murderer like that….”

Yoon Jongwoo’s thoughtless chatter gradually died down. I wondered why he suddenly became hesitant, and then his next muttered words were quite a sight.

“…Then again. You’re not that different yourself, senior.” 

“Hey, that’s rude. Are you comparing me to a guy like that?” 

“Well, he is a person, technically.”

As the years went by, his mouth just got sharper, talking back so brazenly.

Even the slow Yoon Jongwoo was starting to question it, which meant my relationship with Zhenya must be truly odd. Indeed, at a glance, it was hard to guess how we knew each other, and knowing the inside story made the combination even more incomprehensible. How many times had I almost died by Zhenya’s hand? Yet now, we were practically coupling up just by making eye contact; there’s no telling where life will go.

After that, topics shifted to Yoon Jongwoo’s family and neighbors, news about Manager Im, and complaints about work life. As we talked and drank, two bottles of soju quickly disappeared. When Yoon Jongwoo asked if I wanted to order more, I shook my head.

“No. You should go home now.”

Perhaps it was unexpected, as Yoon Jongwoo’s eyes widened. He immediately checked the time on his phone. That wasn’t enough, so he looked at the wall clock too.

“It’s not even 10 yet?” “It’ll take time to get home. And it’s fine to play games, but it’d be better if you showered and finished your chores first.”

At my subsequent advice, he exaggeratedly recoiled.

“Senior, are you spying on me? Did you install cameras in my house or something?” “I don’t need to do that; it’s obvious anyway.”

I threw a torn perilla leaf at him and told him to go. Yoon Jongwoo slowly rolled his eyes, then stood up without protesting. He then straightened his posture and gave a deep bow.

“Then, I’ll be heading home first. Thank you for providing daily sustenance today. I love you, Senior.”

He made a pretentious finger heart and then bolted. He didn’t even look back, perhaps fearing I’d catch him again. I watched Yoon Jongwoo scurrying away and chuckled.

It was almost 10 PM. I felt a pang of regret getting up at that hour. I called over a server who was clearing a nearby table.

“Please clear the grill and bring one more bottle of soju.”

I enjoyed drinking alone. It had been a long time since I spent time alone like this, not on a business trip. How have I lived until now? Since joining the NIS, leisure had vanished from my life. When one task was finished, another awaited. There were countless times I moved directly from one business trip location to the next. Even on rare days off, I was busy collapsing to replenish my energy.

Still, in my early days of employment, I would squeeze out time to meet friends, university seniors and juniors, and comrades from my special forces days. Back then, I had that much leeway, and I was full of enthusiasm for loyalty and friendship. The problem was that in every gathering, everyone was most curious about each other’s recent lives. It was fine to make excuses once or twice, but constantly lying made me uncomfortable.

After shedding my rookie tag, my workload drastically increased, making it impossible to rest when others did. As a result, I rarely attended important events like weddings, funerals, alumni reunions, or first birthday parties. I could count on one hand the number of times I spent holidays at home.

For a while, I only ever said “I’m sorry.” Everyone said it was okay, but a relationship constantly based on apologies couldn’t remain healthy. Contact became sporadic, and even then, it often took days to send a single reply, so I gradually began to drift away from people. I also lost my phone several times during operations, so I barely had any contacts left. I used to tease Zhenya about not having any friends, but now Kwon Taekjoo himself was not much different. If I died in the line of duty, the news that ‘he died’ would probably spread belatedly through word of mouth. I didn’t worry about my funeral being desolate. My situation was such that it would be fortunate if my body was even properly recovered.

I smiled bitterly and chugged the alcohol. When I was alone, my thoughts wandered too much. Just recently, I hadn’t had the time for such thoughts. The intensity of my work remained the same, and Zhenya had intruded into that tight schedule.

“…And he used to grumble.”

He’d complain about working constantly, following me everywhere, but now he’s just vanished without a word. What grand celebration is he preparing for, to be so silent?

Suddenly, the alcohol lost its taste. Thinking of cigarettes, I left the restaurant. At a nearby convenience store, I bought a pack of cigarettes I used to smoke occasionally. I lit one, took a deep drag, then checked the pack. It tasted so bland I wondered if it was always like this. I must have gotten used to handmade cigars.

Just one year. How much had I been swayed by that bastard, Zhenya? I didn’t realize it when he was by my side, but now that he was gone, I felt it with absurd clarity.

I finished one quickly and was about to light another when my silent phone vibrated. I wondered if he was trying to play the tiger again.

However, an unfamiliar number appeared on the phone screen. Normally, I would have dismissed it as a telemarketing call and wouldn’t have answered. There wouldn’t be any group in Korea bold enough to kidnap Zhenya. Perhaps someone had dialed the wrong number.

Then, it suddenly struck me: would telemarketing calls come so close to midnight? Unless it was a very close acquaintance or an urgent matter, no one would be so rude as to call this late.

I decided to hang up if necessary and touched the call button.

“Yes.” – Kwon Taekjoo?

The voice, which asked abruptly, sounded quite familiar. But it wasn’t a saved number, so I didn’t lower my guard.

“That’s me, but who is this?” – Wow, is it you? It’s me. Chanwoo.

Chanwoo. Kang Chanwoo? I repeated the familiar name. There was definitely a guy like that among my university classmates. He was sociable and liked to take charge, serving as the class representative from freshman year. I vaguely recalled hearing news of his marriage a few years ago.

We weren’t particularly close, so I wondered what he wanted so suddenly.

“Yeah. Long time no see.” – Almost 10 years, so it’s like the world turned upside down. But you’re alive, at least? Nobody said they were in touch with you, and there were so many rumors about you not showing up for years that I thought something might have happened. We even said no news is good news among ourselves. Are you healthy?

He was still talkative. It was obvious what kinds of conversations had taken place in my absence. I had unwittingly been the subject of countless rumors throughout my time in university. And since I’d even dropped out of a perfectly fine university, all sorts of unfounded stories must have circulated. Perhaps I even became the protagonist of some old tale starting with, ‘There was this senior back then.’

Even now, I was more curious about how Kang Chanwoo got my number than the reason for his call. It was a terminal stage of occupational hazard.

“Contrary to your expectations, I’m living well, with all my limbs intact. Did you call to ask that?” 

– Bastard, always so cynical. I didn’t expect it, I was worried. You dropped out of school for no reason and then kept out of sight. How are you doing these days? Are you married? 

“No. Too busy making a living.” 

– What kind of work do you do?

“It’s something. Something you don’t need to know.” 

– Ha, Kwon Taekjoo’s personality hasn’t changed. We should meet, right? Everyone’s curious about you. 

“Everyone lives the same life, what’s there to be curious about?” 

– Are you really asking because you don’t know? They probably want to check if Kwon Taekjoo from back then also became an ordinary middle-aged man. Actually, we decided to all meet before this Chuseok. We really had a hard time coordinating schedules.

“And?” – What do you mean, ‘and’? You should come too, dammit. Whatever you do, you’ll have time off around the holidays, won’t you?

I was about to flatly refuse when he quickly added,

– You have to come to this gathering, if not any other time.

What was he talking about now? Kwon Taekjoo had majored in engineering, specifically mechanical engineering. Most of his classmates were men, so they weren’t particularly interested in where each other lived or what they did. Kwon Taekjoo wasn’t curious either. So, what was the reason he absolutely had to attend?

Just as my doubt reached its peak, Kang Chanwoo continued.

– Nahyun’s coming. She’s getting married soon. She wants to see everyone’s faces before that.

Another person I had completely forgotten about came to mind.

‘Kwon Taekjoo.’

At the sound of my name, I looked up. The guys I was eating lunch with also turned their attention to the speaker. The surrounding noise miraculously died down.

The person who appeared before the group was Yoo Nahyun. A freshman in Korea University’s Department of Mechanical Information & Engineering, one of only three female classmates in a class of 150 students. She was known as the ‘Engineering Department Goddess,’ garnering attention from seniors, classmates, and juniors alike from before admission until graduation. Even that day, in that very spot, conversations about her were plentiful. The guys who often made her the topic of conversation all fell silent, watching the two of us interact.

‘I’m Yoo Nahyun.’

At the sudden introduction, I tilted my head. It was already the second semester. I wasn’t unaware of her, as she was constantly on everyone’s lips, day in and day out. I simply wasn’t interested like others.

‘And?’ 

‘Can I sit here?’ 

‘Suit yourself.’

I agreed indifferently. We were eating our own meals anyway, so it didn’t matter who sat nearby. Yoo Nahyun placed her tray across from Kwon Taekjoo. Only then did the other guys in the group start chatting amiably with her. What elective classes she was taking, whether she’d finished her assignments for her major subjects, where her friends she hung out with were, and so on. All trivial talk.

Yoo Nahyun responded appropriately while staring intently at Kwon Taekjoo. He concentrated only on his meal, not participating in the conversation at all. He remained utterly indifferent, even though someone had specifically taken the seat in front of him and was gazing at him so openly.

‘For this two-person project, I want to work with you.’

At the sudden declaration, silence fell around them once more. The guys in the group rolled their eyes, closely observing the situation. Some wore lecherous smiles, while others were already disappointed.

Finally, Kwon Taekjoo met Yoo Nahyun’s gaze.

‘With me? Why?’ ‘You have the best grades. I was curious how the top student handles assignments.’

Yoo Nahyun’s tone was rather aggressive. It felt less like an offer to work together and more like a challenge. Kwon Taekjoo knew she was second in her class for the first semester. He couldn’t not know, as other guys constantly talked about it even without his interest. However, he didn’t consciously acknowledge her or harbor any competitive feelings. For Kwon Taekjoo, grades were about performance, not rank.

So, he refused Yoo Nahyun’s offer.

‘Sorry, but find someone else.’ ‘Why?’ ‘I don’t think I can do it my way. I can’t adjust to others.’

At his definitive answer, Yoo Nahyun was stunned. Generally, people disliked teamwork with passive individuals because it increased the likelihood of doing all the work alone. Kwon Taekjoo was different. He preferred teammates who could fully adapt to him rather than strong-willed ones. That way, even if his workload increased, the results would never be unsatisfactory.

“I’m leaving now,” I said, picking up my empty tray and standing up. From behind me, I heard other guys eagerly suggesting she work with them instead. I could also distinctly feel Yoo Nahyun’s persistent gaze following me. Still, I wasn’t inclined, so there was nothing to be done.

From that day on, Yoo Nahyun would appear out of nowhere, constantly asking to work on assignments together. As many witnessed this, rumors began to spread about them having a fling or even dating. Most of these rumors were malicious.

Female students in the engineering department always received excessive attention. While they were nominally treated like princesses, the male students would compete among themselves, constantly hitting on them. They would offer unwanted favors out of their own goodwill, and then when rejected, they would cut down the women with unspeakable words. They were particularly interested in their love lives, constantly chattering about whether they had boyfriends, how long they’d been together, or when they might break up. If a female student walked around campus with an unknown man or was late, they would exchange vulgar jokes and snicker.

It was an atmosphere that made it difficult for female students to focus on their studies. If, like Yoo Nahyun, they also achieved good grades, they were burdened with even more labels. If they got along well with everyone, they were accused of flattering seniors to get preferential treatment on assignments. Conversely, if they drew a line with all men, they were called cold-hearted.

Kwon Taekjoo was almost the only one in the department who wasn’t interested in female students. No matter how much others talked about them, he never added a word. In his freshman year, he generally got along well with his classmates, as most do, and was polite to his seniors due to his family background, so he was quite well-liked. But whenever the topic of female students came up, he completely opted out. He found no amusement in the conversations that stemmed from such fantasies. Perhaps to the female students, that seemed quite special.

Was that why? Yoo Nahyun persistently followed Kwon Taekjoo. She followed him when he ate at the student cafeteria, went to the library, attended classes, and even when he played basketball on the court. She would watch the uninteresting game under the scorching sun, sweating profusely, and then demand to work on assignments together.

Yoo Nahyun was excellent at studying, having entered as the top student in her department. Furthermore, she was pretty, spirited, and had great social skills. It seemed only natural that such a person would receive everyone’s attention. The problem, however, was that words inevitably became distorted the more they were spoken. There were as many malicious rumors about her as there were compliments. Her persistent pursuit of Kwon Taekjoo must have spawned countless unimaginable rumors. Knowing this, I couldn’t keep refusing her.

Starting from that two-person project, Yoo Nahyun and I began to hang out frequently. It seems we were comfortable with each other, prioritizing our own work and being appropriately indifferent otherwise. It was widely rumored that we were dating, but it didn’t matter. Yoo Nahyun also seemed to find it more comfortable to just have one person to deal with. In fact, as rumors spread that she and Kwon Taekjoo were dating, the number of guys bothering her significantly decreased.

If university life were a marathon, they were good running mates. They always alternated between first and second place, and often worked on assignments together. Contrary to Kwon Taekjoo’s expectations, their views aligned quite well. During exam periods, one of them would always go to the library first to reserve seats. Most meals were eaten at the student cafeteria, but if it was too late, they would grab late-night snacks at their favorite spot near the school.

However, once they left school, they spent their time separately. They never met outside. Yoo Nahyun had tutoring almost every day. It seemed she earned her tuition fees and living expenses herself. Kwon Taekjoo occasionally worked part-time for pocket money and mostly exercised in his free time. Sometimes he would hang out with friends at PC cafes or billiard halls. The two were similar in many ways, but not entirely so.

As the first semester of sophomore year began, more than half of the classmates disappeared. It was due to military enlistment. They say it’s best to go to the military when you’re younger, but I wanted to be careful. If I was going to serve, I wanted it to be somewhere meaningful.

Around that time, the most common question I received was, “When are you going to the military?” Yoo Nahyun was no exception.

‘Aren’t you going to the military?’ 

‘Everyone’s dying to send me. I’ll go. Of course, I’ll go.’ 

‘Roughly when?’

‘Hmm… after sophomore year?’ 

‘Good.’ 

‘What’s good?’ 

‘It’s just… something. I’m going home now. You?’ 

‘Let’s go.’

We studied late and then stood up together. The long staircase leading from the central library to the main gate was dimly lit by streetlights. People had long gone, the surroundings were quiet, and the chirping of insects could be heard from afar. Normally, we would have walked, chatting about this and that, but that day, Yoo Nahyun was unusually quiet. Her face wasn’t bright either, as if something bad had happened. In such situations, Kwon Taekjoo wasn’t the type to initiate conversation. He simply kept silent and pretended not to notice.

It was when we reached the middle landing. Yoo Nahyun, who was ahead, spun around.

‘Should we date?’ 

‘Is this a new tactic? Asking your rival to date you to mess with their head, so you can take first place?’

I was dumbfounded. Yoo Nahyun giggled, as if caught off guard. At her lighthearted reaction, I dismissed it as a joke.

I walked past Yoo Nahyun and descended the stairs first. For some reason, Yoo Nahyun didn’t follow quickly. Then, she suddenly ran to close the distance, and lightly poked indifferent Kwon Taekjoo’s back with her fist. What is it? I turned around, and she was smirking.

‘Let’s date, Kwon Taekjoo.’

It was too dark around us to see Yoo Nahyun’s face clearly. Yet, her cheeks felt flushed.

“Is this what dating is?”

I grumbled and flopped onto the sofa. I even flung my phone away, which I habitually checked. Even when I deliberately took deep breaths, the stuffiness in my chest wouldn’t go away. My head also felt fuzzy. I flopped back down. Then, I kept opening and closing my blurring eyes. The high ceiling seemed to spin slowly.

I talked to my classmate Kang Chanwoo, and drank two more bottles alone. As I reflected on the fact that I, Kwon Taekjoo, also had such an ordinary period in my life.

It was too late to go to my parents’ house, so I came straight to Zhenya’s place. My steps naturally led me here. I hadn’t done anything all day, but I was so tired.